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DS being horrible to Daddy

(9 Posts)
Dusie Thu 19-May-05 09:50:46

Hi - I am getting desparate. When I am not there, DS (aged 26 months) and Daddy have a great time together (I have spied on several occasions!) - lots of hugs, messing about etc. As soon as I am there aswell, he turns into a different child - and is quite horrible to Daddy (to the point where he is nearly in tears), saying things like - I don't want Daddy, go away and physically trying to push him out of the room. And if Daddy and have a hug, half the time he joins in, but the other half he goes mad.
I have two ideas - he is cross at Daddy for being at work so much, and he is jealous of Daddy and is just staking his territory with me.
That's fine, but what do I do about it!!!!! Help

starshaker Thu 19-May-05 09:52:33

just try and ignore it it is just a phase he quite clearly loves his daddy so tell him not to worry bout it

cutemum Thu 19-May-05 14:44:59

hi dusie,

my DH is a fireman and whenever he comes home my DS (20 months)start crying and playing up and when my DD was about 2 or 3 she would tell him to go back in the nee naw whenever he came through the front door!! (that's enough to give anyone a comlex). My DH is fantastic with the kids and is very hands on, always playing with them and taking them to the park etc, so I think it's a jealousy thing! They've had mummy all day and that's fine by them - why change a good thing! As I have already said my DH is great with them but at the end of the day it's mum they want.
Just thought I'd let you know that you are very much NOT ALONE.

kmumed Thu 19-May-05 14:50:12

Hi Dusie - don't worry you and your dh are not alone. My dd and dh have great times together, but when it comes to bath and bed time and I am at home I am the one she wants and she too says similar things - go away daddy etc. If I'm not there she is absolutely fine for daddy and probably behaves better than when I am there.
This is just another phase that no books tell you about.

Blu Thu 19-May-05 15:02:23

DS did that, at about that age, too.
It's jealousy, I am sure. Try to be v low key about it, re-assure his poor Dad, and try to let him know that you love him just as much when daddy is in the room.

Dusie Fri 20-May-05 18:43:06

Thanks for your replies - daddy says thank you too - we'll just hang in there until it passes...............

sallycinnamon Sat 21-May-05 11:27:48

Us too Dusie. DD actually brought DH to tears once! She went through a phase of saying "no daddy away!" and would physically push him away and refuse to kiss or even go near him when he came home. He works long hours and is often away overnight so he knows she will always go to me first if she's upset or tired but it was really hard for DH. The only thing I can say is do what you are doing ie; make sure dh does as much with ds as possible at weekends etc and don't worry it will pass.

Harrizeb Wed 01-Jun-05 16:24:31

Me too. It so hard seeing your DP/DH being hurt though. DS is quite possesive of me and will usually choose me over DH to do things with, but if it's just the 2 of them they have a wail of a time and you can hear the giggles all over the house.

that he can treat his Daddy like this when he loves him so much. I am just keeping my fingers crossed that it will pass soon.

Good luck
H x

AuntyQuated Wed 01-Jun-05 16:30:40

there is a lovely story book to help you get over this...but i don't know what it is called...i'm sure soemone will be long later who will knwo

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