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Two-and-a-half year age gap between children - what's it like?

(15 Posts)
Gateau Mon 13-Jul-09 09:56:52

Am so sick of people saying "you'll have your hands full!" And I have to admit, it worries me a little too that I won't be able to cope.
If all goes well, this is the gap I'll have when DC2 comes along in Oct/Nov.
So for those who have a similiar age gap, what's it like?

thirtysomething Mon 13-Jul-09 10:00:54

There's 2 and a half years between my DC - it's been fine, DS was old enough when DD was born to be able to cope with it all though he did go through a bit of a regression phase in the immediate aftermath....he was almost out of nappies and mostly sleeping well so that was all ok. They are close enough to play together on holiday etc but they tend to have their own friends/interests the rest of the time. Good luck!!

plusonemore Mon 13-Jul-09 10:11:11

ds1 is 3y5months, ds2 9months (so 2ys8months diff) and so far its been great! They really love each other, as thirtysomething said, the older one is old enough to know about it and be excited. I did lots of talking to ds1 before the birth, eg when putting on his shoes i'd say 'you'' be able to put your babies shoes on wont you? etc and he got excited at the thought of being a bit responsible for him. Godd luck and have fun!

iwouldgoouttonight Mon 13-Jul-09 10:30:57

There is a 2.5 year gap between mine. DD is now coming up to six months and it is lovely. It was hard work in the early days, but I think it would be whatever age gap there was! The main problem we had was DS adjusting to not being the only child any more - he started having mad tantrums, which are hard to deal with when you've not had much sleep!

He is much more settled now, he's nearly three and is lovely towards DD - and now she can do a bit more, laugh, roll, etc, he finds her much more interesting. He doesn't seem to remember her not being there.

I am constantly tired though! DD still isn't reliably sleeping through the night and DS has so much energy, by the end of the day I just collapse and I'm asleep by 9pm.

Its expensive for us as DS still isn't potty trained, so two lots of nappies to buy, and they're both in nursery as I've just gone back to work. But we've kind of accepted that for the next couple of years we'll be poor and knackered! And then hopefully we'll start to see more and more rewards of having two close children as they get older.

I think I posted on here when I was pregnant with DD saying almost exactly the same as you! I feel much better and in control now!

FiveGoMadInDorset Mon 13-Jul-09 10:34:16

Its been OK, DD old enough to realise that DS was not a threat but we also made sure that we did alot of things just with her after DS was born. A year on and they play really well, DS is quite tough so they role around on the floor together, giggling, which is very sweet.

Nemoandthefishes Mon 13-Jul-09 10:34:41

absolutely fine.I had 2.2yrs between ds and dd1,12mths between dd1 and dd2 and 2.5yrs between dd2 and dd3. It is absolutely fine and no matter what age gap you have people will find something to comment on whether its wow why did you want to start again[large gap] to oh you must have your hands full[small gap] to you must be mad and have no tv[lots in a small gap] to do you know about contraception[just lots of kids]

llareggub Mon 13-Jul-09 10:36:46

I've found it to be OK, though DS2 is far, far easier than DS1 ever was. DS1 can be a little too enthusiastic in his love for DS1 so have to be very careful about leaving 9 week old DS2 with a rampaging toddler. Bedtimes can be tricky with cluster-feeding though.

Greatfun Tue 14-Jul-09 13:11:28

I have exactly 2.5 years between DD (3.9) and DS (15 months) and think its great. Some jealousy but not too much at the beginning. Luckily for us we only one set of nappies to deal with and one who wakes in the night. When I need to put DS down for a nap I can leave DD in front of the TV or playing without worrying. They both enjoy playgroups although DD says they are for babies and she is only going for her brother hmm. The only bad thing is when we go to the park and DD is doing acrobats off the climibing frame whilst I an chasing DS away from the swings but I imagine thats the case for all but the larger age gaps. DD is old enough for me to say no too and she loves helping look after DS. They love each other and there will only be 2 school years between them. DD was saying yesterday how she will play with her brother when they are both at school (still some way off).

Greatfun Tue 14-Jul-09 13:14:28

Re: bed time. You soon learn doing everything together is easier (once old enough). I bath mine together which normally results in lots of splashing and laughs all round. Get DS out and dressed in bathroom. Then take DD out and get her dressed. She brings a toy and sits on the chair with DS and I whilst I give him his bottle. She uses this time to stroke DS which normally results in him waking up. I ask her to go out whilst I settle him in his cot and then I go into DDs room and read stories, etc. We plan on putting them in the same room one DS is sleeping through regularly as DS room is a box room.

dadintheshed Tue 14-Jul-09 19:32:06

its a great age gap, my girls are 4 and 2 and although the eldest was frustrated at times because the youngest couldn't play her games with her, now they are best friends. Expect many beautiful and hilarious moments when they the youngest starts to converse properly

Waswondering Tue 14-Jul-09 19:39:13

2y 9m between ds and dd. He's adored her from birth, v protective, and they are best friends now at almost 6 and just 3! Loving it.

Navigating complex motorway interchanges today and couldn't help smiling (instead of yelling at them to be quiet!) as dd was giggling uncontrollably at ds's antics with her new toy monkey and his toy tiger . . .

shish Tue 14-Jul-09 19:42:45

I like this thread. It's so positive. I have ds1 3.1 years and ds2 16 weeks - so 2.9 year gap. Ds1 loves his baby brother to pieces but is desperate for them to be able to play together.

Gateau it is hard work but like the others have said it would probably be hard work in the beginning whatever the age gap. We've also kept ds1 very involved and I'm hoping that as ds2 can do more in the next few months, then things will get a bit easier.

Good luck x

bedjumper Tue 14-Jul-09 19:46:06

lovely age gap imo
mine are 3.9 and 17 months now and are like a little team. they play together nicely more than they fight and absolutely adore each other

puffylovett Tue 14-Jul-09 19:49:32

Oh I like this thread too, primarily because my DC2 is due in sept / oct and there will be a 2.5 yr age gap there too !

Gemzooks Tue 14-Jul-09 20:51:58

I have 2.9 DS and 4 month DD. It's now getting easier and really great as they develop a relationship. First few weeks were hard. I was trying to take them both out alone when she was 3-4 weeks and wondering why I couldn't cope.

my top tip is, instigate regular reading on the sofa times with you, then when baby comes along you can breastfeed and read to child 1 at same time. first few weeks DS was jealous and behaved badly, then he just got used to DD. I've also found getting him to help and emphasising that he's a big boy and can do x y z helps. good luck and don't worry!

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