Don't know where to begin really - everything seems wrong and unbearable. Had pnd after ds1 so badly and decided not to have anymore (i'd had ivf) then dd1 arrived naturally in March. I do love ds1 very much, I can't bear to think he is sad or unhealthy and I genuinely want the best for him. Have struggled to really bond with him and have always found myself having to force myself to 'enjoy' being with him which breaks my heart when I see him sleeping. He is 2.5 now with full-on terrible 2s - he whinges, whines, screams from the moment he wakes up. Everything is a battle..it's no to everything. As soon as he wakes I go tense. If he doesn't get what he wants straight away there's hell to play. Get embarrased taking him out. Find myself leaving him in front of the TV whilst I'm with the baby in the kitchen (crying) because I find him so irritating sometimes. Have tried all the ignoring tactics, etc. Today I feel so guilty as I feel I've spent all day shouting at him or putting him in time-out.. in short he's miserable and so am I and after 2.5 years I can't see how things will get better.
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