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My Ds is anxious since school year ended last week

(11 Posts)
NanaJo Fri 10-Jul-09 15:46:30

My Ds (5.10) is very anxious and worried since the school year ended last week. At our school the next year's assigned classes are not announced or given out until the first day of the term in September. The children are taken for two visits with both possible teachers/classrooms in June but will not know where they have been placed until school actually starts. My Ds is a shy, quiet, kind little boy who did very well academically last year and has a couple of good friends ... a girl who he has known since pre-school whom he adores and a boy who is moving to another city next month. The last day of school my Ds cried when he said goodbye to his teacher and off and on over the next few days. Every day since, he has asked whether I think his friend A will be in his class. He worries a lot about the moving friend and also about possible new class routines. I have tried to reassure him but he seems so sad it is breaking my heart. I am hoping that our two week holiday (we leave next Wednesday and have a 5 1/2 flight which he very excited about) will help ease his spirits. Anyway, sorry about the long ramble but would appreciate any advice.

piscesmoon Sat 11-Jul-09 07:35:41

I will bump it up a bit. I haven't got any answers, but as a teacher I think it is dreadful and I didn't think schools did it any more. They must know which class the DCs are in and they should have had transition visits.
I think that the parents should band together-see the Head and governors and see that it doesn't happen in the future.
In my area the year 6's have all been to the secondary school and know which registration group they are in-they certainly know within the school.Those with separate infant and junior go on visits to the new class. Teachers who will be new in September come in for it, if they possibly can.
The only reason I can think of is that it gives the parent no time to complain! I am not surprised your DS is anxious.

peggotty Sat 11-Jul-09 07:48:48

Would it be possible to speak to the school and ask if your ds could be in his friends class? If they are aware of his personality and the fact he has bonded with the little girl and his other friend is moving away, maybe they will allow it? I hope so.

macherie Sat 11-Jul-09 08:10:36

I agree with peggotty, ring the school and explain about your ds' anxiety and ask them to make sure they are in the same class.

DS2 was the same when he started school and would ony settle in the morning if he was beside this little girl he had bonded with. I explained to the teacher and she made sure they sat together all year!

Hopefully the school will see that it's in your ds best interests, and then you can put his mind at rest and he can enjoy his holidays smile

dilemma456 Sat 11-Jul-09 08:40:02

Message withdrawn

piscesmoon Sat 11-Jul-09 09:06:32

The problem is that they are already on holiday. There will be no one to ring. I suspect that it is a deliberate policy of the school. Is it state or private?

NanaJo Sat 11-Jul-09 11:03:19

I live in Canada (British Columbia) and our school system is quite different from yours. My Ds has just finished kindergarten (from what I can understand via this forum, you refer to it as Reception year there) and will be entering grade one. It is standard practice here not to know who the teacher will be until the first day of the new school year. (I must say that I much prefer the sound of your system in this respect!) This is not a private school, but it is one with a very good reputation and name. At our school the child must attend their new class for two weeks and then after that you can request a change but must have a very good reason for doing so. I posted this under education as well and have heard from another B.C. parent who is in the same situation. (Lovely the way we can connect here!) Thanks so much.

piscesmoon Sat 11-Jul-09 11:40:50

In the UK I think it is generally recognised that the transition period is important. If it isn't the norm in Canada then there isn't much you can do. Just try and take his mind off it!

NanaJo Sat 11-Jul-09 15:31:20

Piecesmoon, I agree that transition is very important. My Ds did visit both possible teachers/classrooms but I don't think that goes far enough to alleviate fears especially for a child like him. I am not sure how the system has evolved here but I think part of the reason could be to stop the lobbying by parents for certain teachers. In early May we received a letter from the school stating that 'we do our utmost best to keep each child's academic, emotional and psychological needs in mind when deciding on placement' and for parents not to request certain teachers etc. They did ask for feedback regarding friends and other possible issues but they emphasized that were NO guarantees. Class lists are not finalized until the end of September. There are split/mixed level classes at every grade level here. I'm not sure if that is the case in the UK?

Thanks everyone for your thoughtful words and replies. Much appreciated.

piscesmoon Sat 11-Jul-09 19:44:54

I would be pretty sure that it is to stop parents complaining-it is a bit late to switch once they are in the class! However you are a bit stuck if that is the way they do it.

MollieO Sat 11-Jul-09 19:53:39

I would have thought the school will still be staffed to some degree over the summer hols. Ours certainly is. We found out the week before the end of term and ds didn't like his new teacher. A couple of visits has changed his opinion thankfully as it turns out they have a shared interest.

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