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I am finding some of the other kids who play out in our street make life really stressful! Is this common?

(17 Posts)
dollybird Fri 10-Jul-09 12:17:11

My DS and DD play outside either on their own or with two from next door quite happily for hours on end, without too much trouble (not saying they're perfect, but I can get on with stuff in the house without having to keep a constant eye out and if there's any trouble one of them will usually come and tell me). There are two brothers in the road who were never let out until last summer - not even playing on their front garden (they are nearly 8 and nearly 5). Now they seem to be left to play out with no-one keeping an eye and it seems the minute they come out all hell breaks loose. Last week we were eating dinner when we noticed they were in our back garden (having come through a shut gate). We told them to clear off, but this leaves us worried about going out or on hols. Our garden has a greenhouse and a shed full of tools/hedge trimmer etc, so we generally don't let many other kids in the back unless we're there. The other thing is that children seem to have very short memories so they forget that last time they got into a big fight or a load of silliness which got out of hand and just go and play with them anyway. It's very difficult to say 'Don't play with x and y' when we only live in a small road. Any advice?

Tamarto Fri 10-Jul-09 12:20:48

Get a lock.

Tamarto Fri 10-Jul-09 12:22:58

I'm sorry but

'but I can get on with stuff in the house without having to keep a constant eye out

and

'Now they seem to be left to play out with no-one keeping an eye'

pot and kettle spring to mind.

'The other thing is that children seem to have very short memories so they forget that last time they got into a big fight or a load of silliness which got out of hand and just go and play with them anyway'

Well as it was over a load of silliness aren't you glad your kids don't hold a grudge?

I'm failing to see the big problem here?

GypsyMoth Fri 10-Jul-09 12:23:41

Isn't that the lovely thing about kids tho, that they forget grudges so quickly?
I think it's a valuble skill for them to be able to play and get on with anyone.
Can't you get a lock for your gate?

I have trained local kids to not knock on our door knocker loudly, as we have a baby, and to pick up their litter! I did this by chatting to them, being friendly and interested in them. My older DC get on fine with all of them. I hand out the odd biscuit or ice lolly to them, and they seem to respect our space. Try this!

dollybird Fri 10-Jul-09 12:24:46

we prob will, but that means DS and DD can't just go out and get stuff ie their bikes out for themselves. The other week mil picked them up from school and was boiling but the kids wanted to play outside so they ran about getting her a chair and an umbrella etc to cool her down - it was quite sweet. Seems a shame to restrict them just because of others, but I suppose that's how it goes sometimes.

GypsyMoth Fri 10-Jul-09 12:25:07

Tamarto....x posts!

GypsyMoth Fri 10-Jul-09 12:27:12

You need to lock things away in case of theft anyway......surely, not just because of other kids!!!

Have you tried actually speaking to these boys, explaining?? They might actually listen to you?

dollybird Fri 10-Jul-09 12:27:44

my kids are right out the front - these are coming down from the top of the road and then running about in front of cars, standing in the road chucking lumps of concrete up in the air above their heads and heading off down out of the road, all where they can't be seen from their house. I can see mine from my most rooms in my house.

dollybird Fri 10-Jul-09 12:30:51

The hedge trimmer is broken and all the tools are old - if they got nicked it wouldn't be a big deal, but they could still be dangerous if in the wrong hands. Stuff we don't want nicked is locked away under our house.

GypsyMoth Fri 10-Jul-09 12:34:19

Yes but he kids bikes could be stolen if not locked away?

So speak to the kids parents.
Speak to the kids,'takes a whole village to bring up a child'

Where's the concrete from?

UnquietDad Fri 10-Jul-09 12:36:35

When you say "Is this common?" do you mean

"Does this happen a lot?"
or
"Does this mean my street is like something off Shameless"?

flier Fri 10-Jul-09 12:36:47

put a bolt in the gate when you go on holiday or go out for the day.

dollybird Fri 10-Jul-09 12:41:16

bikes are locked away - we give DS the key - he can get them out himself.

'is this common' as in do others find it stressful when loads of kids are outside their house screaming and causing chaos.

dollybird Fri 10-Jul-09 12:47:30

oh, and when I said no-one keeps an ey on them, I meant because they've never been let out to play at all before. My two were 'weaned' iyswim ie played out with me or DH, then with one of us watching or when DH was gardening, then we would sit by the front door, so they got used to playing out before being allowed to on their own.

Not sure where the concrete came from actually - maybe someone's garden.

Tamarto Fri 10-Jul-09 12:50:09

How do you know they've never been allowed out to play before, they may just have been out somewhere else, a friends their grans etc.

Kids scream when they are outside it's a fact of life hmm

dollybird Fri 10-Jul-09 12:56:34

because there has been children playing out at weekends/school hols etc for the last five years at least and they NEVER played out, even when they were home. I know kids scream -I've got two of them, but they don't scream as much

anyway, can see there's no point me arguing this one out - think i'll leave it. Just venting my frustration

chosenone Fri 10-Jul-09 15:28:05

pmsl at

"Does this mean my street is like something off Shameless"?
grin

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