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Back at work....feeling guilty as my mum has my twin girls...

(6 Posts)
twinsthings Wed 08-Jul-09 22:41:22

I am back at work - took off almost two years but financally cant have any more time, it was always the plan that mum would have the girls but I do feel very guilty as she should be taking it easy, not pushing a double pushchair (she doesnt drive) and running after two toddlers at almost 70 - its a difficult situation and my mum loves having them but can see and know she must be exhausted (3-4 days a week I work 9-4pm). FInished work a bit earlier today and saw her struggling in the rain - was so guilty I cried. I am hoping to get them into nursery but then theres the dropping and collecting to consider. anyone else in a similar situation? I should note that she is extremely wonderful and we will never repay her for her kindness and help with our lovely girls...

moondog Wed 08-Jul-09 22:46:04

Do you pay her?

MrsMattie Wed 08-Jul-09 22:46:20

Could you share care between your mum and a childminder or nanny? We have a nanny 3 days a week and my mum looks after my two children 2 days a week. It works well. No guilt involved smile.

cloudedyellow Thu 09-Jul-09 08:35:29

Sorry you feel so guilty twinsthings. I don't know your mum, of course, but despite getting tired, there may be nothing she likes better than looking after her little gds.

Who wants to take it easy when the alternative is to be able to help you, her daughter, and spend precious time with young children?

Look at it this way, you may be doing her a favour! She feels needed.

EdwardBitMe Thu 09-Jul-09 08:44:59

I'm feeling guilty here too. It's so tough. My mum (56) has had DS1 two days a week for nearly four years and has been fine. However, since Feb she's also had DS2 for those two days. He is such a pickle and a very heavy baby.
This week she has been rushed to hospital with paralysis, and needs an op on a slipped disc in her back. I feel so guilty for trying to have some sort of career and provide some extra money for the household when really I should be at home with my boys and not putting my wonderful mum through this.
She loves having my boys and gets up at 5.30am to be here. <she must be insane!>
I know I will have to find other care for the boys for the next school year.
Like cloudedyellow says, I'm sure your mum loves having your children, but don't let her overdo it!

twinsthings Thu 09-Jul-09 19:57:21

Any spare money I have bonuses, overtime etc I get I give her - the rest is to make ends meet - but she is really aganist getting this although it does help for her.. it wil never be enough and I am trying to find alternative care although with two children attending or being cared for it is diff to budget - i would rather be home without question as torn between the two is the worse thing - thanks to those who responded.

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