When I was pregnant I wanted everything to be perfect. I had an epidural for labour because my mum told me (terrified me) with tales of horrific pain. DD was born via ventouse & was fine, but i remember feeling very removed from it all. I remember her crying in the hospital & wishing she would be quiet because I was so tired.
I'd absorbed GF & thought I'd be doing this. DD1 seemed to cry all the time & was permantely attached to me (BF). I spent the first 3 mths trying to put her down. I feel terribly guilty because i suspect she had a headache from the ventouse & she had an odd shaped head for months.
Fastforward me going back to work - again, quite removed from it. DH used to take her to nursery, after dressing her, giving her breakfast. Every night he bathed her & read her a story. It was almost like I was trying to spend the least amount of time with her...
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I don't think I like my DD1 age 6...v v long...
17 replies
Peacocksuit · 07/07/2009 21:29
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