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who doesn't do birthday parties for thier dc??

(18 Posts)
sheepgomeep Sun 05-Jul-09 16:41:17

I was just wondering how many of you don't do birthday parties for thier children.

Mine are 9 6 and 2 and I can honestly say that I have never had a birthday party for any of mine.

Most of thier friends have had organized parties at soft play centres or other places or big parties at home involving lots of children but I never have

I do have my reasons, a lot of it has been cost, I have never had the money to spend out on lavish parties I can barely afford thier presents!

I'm also quite shy and not very good in social settings, the thought of organizing, entertaining 10 or so more children for 2 hours fills me with horror.

My house isn't the best either, not dirty or anything just badly decorated, no money to do more than just a basic job, feel people would snigger.

Don't get me wrong, I still do have a tea party of sorts, dc's grandparents, my mum, my stepchildren and sometimes a close friend and her children will come and I do a nice buffet tea etc with a cake afterwards..
I don'[t know I often wonder if my kids are missing out but I just don't make a huge fuss about birthdays

Am i the only one?

sunburntats Sun 05-Jul-09 16:47:28

I have always had parties at home. like you, nice butties etc with family round us.

Ds will be 6 in a week, and has asked for "play barn" type organised party. We have let him invite 10 people some from class, the rest family children. It is costing me £76 all in. No mess, party bags, baloons and an hour to play on the equipment.
I probably would have spent more on BBQ food etc so for me its a a good spend.

My sister on the other hand doesnt do anything for her son, no tea party, nothing. Either me or my mum do a little party for dn.

While i get your reasons, i just dont with my sister, she hates kids and cant think of anything worse. so he does miss out yes.
Depends on the reasons, and your kids defo do not miss out and i dont think that my boy has either.

MrsMattie Sun 05-Jul-09 16:48:22

We do, but not every year. We play it by ear. Sometimes we have a family tea party or a family day out instead.

MrsMattie Sun 05-Jul-09 16:50:02


- parties don't have to cost much - 5 friends, a cake from the supermarket and some crisps/biccies & juice is fine.

- I have never sniggered at someone's house, and no decent person would do that.

Don't let those two reasons put you off.

bigchris Sun 05-Jul-09 16:50:48

ds just had his first one at 5

i was surprised the number of people who invite 25 or more three yr olds to soft play parties, cant think of anything worse grin

MIAonline Sun 05-Jul-09 16:59:52

You have to look at what is right for you and your family. There is a scale of parties from nothing to a lavish 50 kids in a hall affair.

What you choose to do should be affordable, enjoyable and special to your DC.

Having a family tea is a birthday party, it is still celebrating the day which is what birthday parties are all about.

I also agree with Mrs Mattie's 2 points about not letting those things put you off.

Clayhead Sun 05-Jul-09 17:02:17

I always do them but always at home and dc are allowed to invite only a few close friends. Doesn't cost much at all.

smartacus Sun 05-Jul-09 17:02:30

My Dcs have not had a birthday party. Mostly down to the cost and the fact that it seems from what I have heard/witnessed that you have to go "bigger" every year and I simply do not have the energy fotr it.

sarah293 Sun 05-Jul-09 17:10:57

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muggglewump Sun 05-Jul-09 17:16:28

I don't for exactly the same reasons you listed sheepgomeep.

I do a special tea for DD and I and buy her a cake, or we might go out if eat if she wants, but no party.

When she's older (she'll be 8 next month) and has a few close friedns I'll take them to the cinema and for pizza or whatever but there's too many kids to do that now.

Laquitar Sun 05-Jul-09 17:30:13

'Am i the only one?'.
No. Don't forget many families don't celebrate bdays for cultural/religious reasons (J.Witness, some Muslims i think?) and their children are fine.
Anyway a family tea party is brilliant i think.

But your post made me a little sad if the reason is because you are too shy and too worry about people judging your house. As others have said those who matter will not judge smile

sheepgomeep Sun 05-Jul-09 17:32:04

I have an unsafe back garden as well, have our lovely council to thank for that angry

It's nice to known that some of you out there feel the same way as me, and I will probably do trips to the pics when they are older with one or 2 friends. I can cope with that!

ShannaraTiger Mon 06-Jul-09 20:59:52

We haven't either Dd(5) & Ds(2). 2 bed council flat not good for a Do feel guilty though, might try this year though.

RumourOfAHurricane Tue 07-Jul-09 11:41:56

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RumourOfAHurricane Tue 07-Jul-09 11:45:22

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tummytickler Tue 07-Jul-09 15:13:28

I have 4 kids of 8,6,4 and nearly 2, and we never have organised birthday parties ever.
We always have a family tea party, adn on their birthday they get to choose any breakfast they like (always sugary cereal as i dont allow it at other times!). They love this.
Sometimes we have a small party with friends in the house (dancing to jazz music, pass the parcel, worst dancing competition etc) and food. This works for little ones - nothing big - really simple and no party bags ever.
My eldest had a sleepover this year with 3 friends and my 6 year old went to the cinema and for pizza with one friend. That is as extravagent as it gets in our house.
Birthdays should be celebrated (for us) as they are special, but it is not about massive parties and loads of presents, it is about them feeling special for the day, and dh and i telling them about when they were a tiny baby!
I love the shopping trip idea - i might pince that for dd next year!

tummytickler Tue 07-Jul-09 15:14:25

ooops - pinch!

RumourOfAHurricane Tue 07-Jul-09 17:48:18

Message withdrawn

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