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We're being offered lots of help - but I don't know whether to accept it..

(15 Posts)
happymango Fri 03-Jul-09 19:14:37

We've got 4 week old twins as well as a 5 year old and 3 year old. I had a really rocky pregnancy and lots of our neighbours have helped out with school runs etc whilst I've been in and out of hospital.

Now that the twins are here our friends and neighbours are still offering us loads of help including taking our bigger children to parties at the weekend as well as playdates, that I will never be able to return.

It's fantastic to be part of a close knit community, but I don't know whether I should accept the help we're being offered. It makes me feel really uncomfortable to accept help when I can't return the favour.

expatinscotland Fri 03-Jul-09 19:16:45

Take it, smile and thank them graciously.

When you feel up to it, like next year or that, host a BBQ or party as a thank-you.

plimple Fri 03-Jul-09 19:17:05

People love being helpful, don't deprive them of it!

samplesale Fri 03-Jul-09 19:19:59

Take it! Take it! People like to feel useful.

DisturbinglySexuallyInactive Fri 03-Jul-09 19:27:45

you can show your appreciation in loads of ways without returning the favour directly! lucky you, and congrats

happymango Fri 03-Jul-09 19:29:14

How can I show my appreciation Disturbingly?

Bink Fri 03-Jul-09 19:29:20

Sometimes it's easier to give help than take it - remember how much more fun it is sometimes to be the gift-giver than the gift-getter than get one?

And if you're part of close-knit community, you'll be that for a long time - you've years to find chances to return the favours, if you feel you should.

wonderingwondering Fri 03-Jul-09 19:30:19

People do love to get their mits on little children, and they feel the sense of community too. Who knows that you won't be able to repay it - in years to come you'll have lots of errand-runners, car-washers and so on! It sounds really nice smile

FiveGoMadInDorset Fri 03-Jul-09 19:31:49

Your neighbours sound lovely, I agree with Expat, smile say thank you and throw a party later on when you are feeling up to it.

DisturbinglySexuallyInactive Fri 03-Jul-09 19:33:37

I think the BBQ idea sounds like a great way to show appreciation later - or thank you cards now even?

madlentileater Fri 03-Jul-09 19:34:30

1. People like to help
2. You may not return favours directly, but you either will or already have helped out others, I used to think of it as a kind of child care karma.
3. It takes a village to raise a child, even more so with twins, I really believe this and sounds as if you have a village there, be thankful.
My DTs now teenagers, life does get easier, but I would never have coped without my friends.

cheesesarnie Fri 03-Jul-09 19:36:49

they sound lovely!can you bottle them?grin

it does feel odd to except help doesnt it!but its lovely,make the most of it as i think you might offend them if you stop it.

i like bbq idea,or getting the dc to make cards.

happymango Fri 03-Jul-09 19:40:51

In many ways I would love to accept all the offers of help but it just makes me feel so guilty. But you all seem to be saying that it's fine - so perhaps I should try to accept it graciously...

muppetgirl Fri 03-Jul-09 19:44:36

I love the idea of a thank you BBQ. I would accept all the help you can and be very appreciative to those who offer (know you are being I'm sure smile)

You sound like you live in a lovely community and there aren't many of those left...

TurtleAnn Fri 03-Jul-09 20:16:18

You must have already been a good neighbour and friend otherwise your pals wouldn't have offered. In some ways are these people returning favours they already owe you.

Take the help, I love being able to help out my pals and I never expect anything in return.

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