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would you persevere in this situation

(12 Posts)
tevion Thu 02-Jul-09 09:30:17

Hi
Its a bit of a silly one really but when my ds left his old infant school and moved to a new school there was one good freind he had were me and the mom said we would keep them in touch.
I have always done this since they left however I have to stress that its always me that texts her to ask if her ds wants to come and play, come on a sleepover etc.
I am pretty sure that if it wasn,t for my efforts that they would not have seen each other again.
I have never had a problem with the fact that its always been me that has contacted them I have found that generally this is usually the case with most people I realise that people have busy lives and other siblings to contend with etc.
What is annoying me with this woman of late is that she never replies to my texts.
She will usally say things like I am scatty and if I don,t reply text me again, or I got your text and then I forgot about it.
I am getting fed up and feel as though I am banging my head up a wall and feel like not bothering anymore.
I would very much like to keep hers and my ds's relationship going but have started to wonder if she feels the same way.
I am not sure if maybe she is bothered about keeping the relationship going or not.
I would hate to think I am making a nuisance of myself and would prefer it if she told me straight.
What do you think do you think she is scatty or do you think she is ignoring me.
I realise that now they are at differnt schools that they have other freinds but I have never seen a problem in keep this relationship going.
My ds really wants to see her ds again and when her ds comes to ours he always seems happy to be here.
I wouldn,t want to look too pushy by phoning her.
What do you think do you think she is not replying because she's not bothered anymore or is she scatty as she says.
The first few weeks after they left she always responded straight away to my texts.

tevion Thu 02-Jul-09 09:33:27

I always make a point of texting her at night when I think she would be settled and have time to sit and reply to a text.
I find this quite irritating and rude.

GIvePeasAChance Thu 02-Jul-09 09:38:36

I think it is a fact of life that the immediate takes over...........she probably does enjoy your DSs getting together, and means to sort it out, and reply to your texts etc. but the immediate just sort of takes over. It is just a sad part of moving away.

I would not persevere but also not take it personally. It's just life - you both had good intentions initially, and unfortunately it has just fizzled out.

PortAndLemon Thu 02-Jul-09 09:46:45

She probably is just scatty.

Sometimes I think text messages are responsible for half the world's ills grin

Just phone her. It's not pushy.

tevion Thu 02-Jul-09 09:47:37

Thank you Give I think its such a shame really as I know my ds still wants to see him, and is asking to see him at this moment in time, however she once again has not replied to me.
I don,t want to keep texting her and put myself in danger of looking possesive.
I just don,t know what to say to my ds.

mulranno Thu 02-Jul-09 09:50:35

I agree with GPAC...childrens lives are so busy with parties, after school activities, new friends etc...just let it lie...or call for a chat and a catch up with the mum...but dont ask child over atm....I hate texting...think it is easy to misunderstand etc

tevion Thu 02-Jul-09 09:59:00

Both of our dc's are only children.
I know that she has recently started working fulltime monday to friday.
She is at home in the evenings and weekends.
I also know that she is not a maternal sort of mom and I don,t think she really enjoys having children over.
I am not sure if she always feels obliged to return a sleepover and would rather avoid that.
To be fair to her on the occasions that her ds has come to mine on a sleepover she has most of the time had my ds to hers the following week although I suspect that really she can,t be bothered.
I don,t expect her to retunr the invite I would be happy enough for her ds to just come here occasionally.
Oh well what can I do.

titchy Thu 02-Jul-09 10:18:38

TBH if she's just started working FT she has more than enough on her plate. Kids' friendships do fizzle out when they don;t see eachother regularly at school or at an activity. That's jyst life and your ds will have to accept that.

Don't keep on at her. She obviously feels the friendship has run its course.

Bit judgy that comment btw - 'not very maternal sort of mom' hmm

PortAndLemon Thu 02-Jul-09 10:30:45

She doesn't necessarily feel the friendship has run its course. If she's just started working FT she is probably feeling wiped out and doesn't have the time to follow up on her good intentions, especially if she's the scatty type anyway.

Acinonyx Thu 02-Jul-09 10:37:06

I would definitley not persevere. Don't take it personally - it's just that she is focussing on local stuff and very busy. The gap has closed over the space you used to occupy in thier lives.

Something very similar is happening to me and a good friend. We moved a bit further away, preschool started, we both work PT and we see less and less of each other. I understand that they are taken up with her ds's local friends from preschool in a way which we aren't as we are new here. I'm sad about it - but these things happen.

tevion Thu 02-Jul-09 18:23:00

Thanks for all of your advice I will leave it be. Maybe one day she will suddenly decide to get in touch if she hasn,t heard off us for a while.

baskingseals Thu 02-Jul-09 22:07:57

It depends how much it means to your ds. If they are really best buddies, I would persevere, if not don't.

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