Ds is almost 2, I've never left him with anyone for more than a couple of hours and that's been only a handful of times when I really needed to. He's not clingy, doesn't mind being left too much (although it depends who he's left with obviously) and I have at least one if not two people who could mind him for me now and then.
But I just can't leave him, I don't know what's wrong with me but when I think about somebody taking him from me I feel anxious and tearful. I desperately desperately need some time off from him though. Feeling on-call 24/7 for the last two years is really draining me now and I'm drowning in housework I just can't get done.
I know I'm a mother and this is my lot. I feel terrible for writing this because I know how lucky I am to have a child at all, and especially one who is healthy and "normal". I don't regret having him and don't want to not be a parent, but he wasn't planned and I feel like my life has been in chaos since he arrived. I'm so tired and weary of the mess and the tantrums. I love him so much, he's a delight most of the time but I'm not cut out for this. The only mental time off I get is when he sleeps.
I feel like I want to go home but home is here, and it's a tip, and I can't get away from him, and I don't want to be away from him.
Sorry for the whinge, I know there's people with much bigger problems out there. I've written this dozens of times and not posted it because I feel too guilty.
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Desperately need time off
3 replies
fedup1981 · 30/06/2009 17:47
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