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Can you just hold my hand and tell me that it will get a little bit better, please?

(9 Posts)
lovelyboysadmum Tue 30-Jun-09 13:39:13

DS is 10 months old and it feels worse than the newborn phase. I'm in tears most days and it justs feels like it's never going to get better/easier. I don't know if I can ever face having another, which makes me sad in itself.

DS has been waking at 5-5.30am since Easter and nothing I try makes any difference. I try to go to bed earlier but DP doesn't get home until 8.30 and I'd never see him. I'm shattered. And now even naps have become a nightmare as he just wants to walk/stand/sit. It takes up to 1.5 hours to calm him down to sleep. He sleeps all morning which makes it difficult to get to playgroups.

He is a chronic teether and teethes for literally weeks on end with no sign of any teeth. The teeth he has got have made BFing really painful but he refuses formula so I don't feel like I've got a choice at the moment.

DP and I are both feeling the strain and are miserable, stressed and our sleep is so mucked up that we can't sleep in the same room. Needless to say our sex-life is non-existent, even though we both wish it wasn't.

I posted on here about a month ago and everyone was really nice when I was having a bad day. I hoped that things would get better but I just feel less and less able to cope. Is this what's it's like? Does any of it ever get any better?

I love DS to bits BTW, he's the funniest, loveliest little thing.

[This is very self-indulgent, I'm sorry.]

oneplusone Tue 30-Jun-09 13:46:17

Not much time right now sorry, but I can PROMISE you it will get better. You are in a very difficult stage, but it is just a stage and it will pass.

Teething is a nightmare, but once all the teeth are out and he is walking, he'll be a lot happier and therefore so will you.

Hang on in there! And go to bed early, it's all so much worse on no sleep. Even if it means you don't see DH a couple of nights a week, you will be able to cope soooooo much better if get a bit of decent sleep.

SweetEm Tue 30-Jun-09 13:48:56

Hi there. I'm sorry you are feeling so fed up. I have no advice really, as my ds is waking at 5am too! I just wanted to let you know that someone is reading your post and that you are not alone. It does get easier though as they get older, so hang in there.

Although, having said that I have no advice, have you tried manipulating his naps by waking him up before he would naturally? You might find if you do this that after a short nap he is ok to go to play-group and then have another nap in the afternoon. You never know, this might help with the early morning waking too eventually.

MatNanPlus Tue 30-Jun-09 13:53:42

Try waking him, or getting out to groups anyway, if he wakes he will have a new interest and if he doesn't then you will have had company / change of scene.

It sounds like he is treating the morning as a catch up sleep time and if you reduce this time then he may well start sleeping better for his after lunch nap and going to bed a bit earlier in the evening.

melmog Tue 30-Jun-09 13:56:44

It will get better and you'll look back at this phase and it will seem to have been really short.

Lack of sleep is a killer and makes every little thing a mountain to tackle.

Does your son sleep in the car? Or buggy? I've been known to drive til my dc's are asleep then get out my old ladies pillow and sleep too. Often wonder if someone might see us and think I've gassed us all. grin

Maybe if you were getting a nap too you'd feel better in the evenings.

I find that planning the day helps, as in, we'll drive to playgroup before they sleep, tickling their toes as we go so they don't drop off! Have a blast at playgroup. They'll fall asleep on the way back so I park somewhere nice, or not, and read or nap. I tend to have a little picninc with me too so when they wake I can shovel something in and keep everything nice and relaxed.

Of course, it often goes tits up but hey. A cat nap is better than nothing.

What time does your ds go to bed?

Is there a chance you may have mild pnd to add to things?

ps. we've all been there and come out the other side!

bobblehat Tue 30-Jun-09 13:59:04

To echo every one else, it does get easier!!

Ds1 was an difficult baby. He didn't sleep well, very rarely napped, and screamed almost constantly. Like you dh worked long hours.

Then, suddenly it all got so much better. suddenly he could walk and talk, and as soon as he was more independant (ie he could get where he wanted and he could let us know what he wanted) he became a much easier.

Looking back he was just frustrated. I found going for lots of walks in the country side (lots of open space!) made me feel better and at least ds got some fresh air.

lovelyboysadmum Tue 30-Jun-09 16:06:23

Thanks everyone. Finally managed to get him to nap so went for forty winks myself and feel a bit better. I have wondered about PND but TBH I just think it's sleep deprivation. I guess it's a fine line between the two sometimes.

He goes to bed at 7pm-ish usually. Later or earlier doesn't seem to make any difference to the time he wakes up. I guess it's the early mornings/birds coupled with the teething and all the developmental milestones. I just keep thinking I know it's a phase but it just goes on and on.

Some weeks I am better than others and then I make a big effort to do things/see people which makes me feel even better. But in a bad week, I just want to shut myself in. It's so hard off-loading on DP all the time. I have lots of friends with babies but although we talk about it being tough, I don't say how incredibly tough I find it. They don't know that I burst into tears about three times a day - I think they would be very surprised.

melmog Tue 30-Jun-09 16:57:36

I bet they wouldn't. Once you start telling people how hard you find things it's amazing the stories that come out. Everyone has bad days and it'll make you feel better to offload a bit.

Don't beat yourself up, you're doing a great job!

DesperateHousewifeToo Tue 30-Jun-09 19:31:22

Could you try to keep him awake during the morning by going to a playgroup?

If he does fall asleep in the morning, keep the nap very short. If he is catching up on his early rising during the day, he will continue to wake early.

Good luck. It will get better.

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