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What age do you consider too old to try for more children?

(53 Posts)
BottySpottom Sun 28-Jun-09 20:16:06

Title says it all really. I guess it depends how many children you already have, if any, but what is the oldest age you think you would still consider having a child?

rubyslippers Sun 28-Jun-09 20:17:21

doesn't it depend on many things?

don't think there is a "right" answer

BottySpottom Sun 28-Jun-09 20:19:56

OK - all other things being equal then.

DiamondHead Sun 28-Jun-09 20:21:50

It still depends.
CAn't think of what the 'all things being equal' case would be.

notevenamousie Sun 28-Jun-09 20:23:51

Depends on so much. It's easy for me to say 35 now (whilst under 30) but I don't know what the future will bring. Why? And why (specifically) is it putting you off??

rubyslippers Sun 28-Jun-09 20:23:58

but they are never equal

if anyone ever sat down and rationally and coolly looked at having a child we wouldn't be here now

there is no "right" time - just some are better than others IMO

rubyslippers Sun 28-Jun-09 20:25:01

I would have also said 35 - but am 34 and PG with DC2

if i want a 3rd then i will be heading towards 37/38 or even older

PortAndLemon Sun 28-Jun-09 20:26:10

All other things being equal is a bit confusing as well, though. A lot of it would depend on actual likely fertility, e.g. what was going on with cycles etc.

I guess in practice, personally, with my DCs at the ages they are, I probably wouldn't start trying for another past 40-ish. But having started trying I might well give it a couple of years before giving up. So, um, 42-43? Ish...

But equally I could see an "oops" pregnancy happening later than that, so I suppose from that point of view I could see myself having a child later. And I don't think there's anything wrong with someone else trying at a later age; just I suspect I'll be ready to draw the line under my childbearing years at around that point.

Dumbledoresgirl Sun 28-Jun-09 20:27:07

Certainly anytime in the 30s is fine - young even. I guess if I hadn't completed my family and I was still fertile, no age would seem to old.

Wonderstuff Sun 28-Jun-09 20:27:33

I have had one mc, and that was awful. Knowing that the risk of mc goes up so much after 35 I wouldn't want to put off trying again until then. Having said that I don't think I'd give up hope until 45. But its all very theoretical. Why do you ask?

DottyDot Sun 28-Jun-09 20:28:01

It's really subjective. For me it was 40 - and now I've reached 40 that feels fine! I just knew I'd feel too old and knackered to go through the baby stuff again - and I do! grin

But I'm lucky enough to have 2 ds's - maybe if I was still trying to have a baby I'd re-consider. And I've got friends who are late 30's and early 40's and either pregnant or trying to get pregnant and are sailing through it all.

So I don't think there's an age too old for more children, just an age when you know yourself you want to pack it in!

Dumbledoresgirl Sun 28-Jun-09 20:28:13

too

chevre Sun 28-Jun-09 20:30:34

36

Northernlurker Sun 28-Jun-09 20:34:30

WEll I'm done now having started at 21 - but If I wasn't I reckon I would think 42 was the cut off. A child born at 42 will be out of uni by the time you retire - assuming retirement at 65, 1 gap year and a four year course or a five year cours and no gap and so forth.

spicemonster Sun 28-Jun-09 20:38:15

I have spent the afternoon with my friends in their 40s today. Between us, we have loads of kids between the ages of 11 and 2. We've also had a few miscarriages, a really tragic birth which left one of our children severely disabled and a stillbirth. Some of us are thinking of adopting and/or fostering to share the love.

I cannot honestly see that any of us is 'too old' to have a child - we have lots of love to share. I think it's a bit of a bizarre concept actually.

mumblechum Sun 28-Jun-09 20:38:48

I think you do kind of have to think backwards, ie a teenager/pensioner combo isn't ideal imo, so 40 would be the absolute cut off point for me, but pref. a bit earlier at maybe 35 purely because I remember how tiring it was even at 29 & 31.

so it's partly to do with not wanting the child to have parents much older than their friends' parents and partly an energy thing.

KerryMumbles Sun 28-Jun-09 20:40:00

once you've had the menopause.

CMOTdibbler Sun 28-Jun-09 20:42:47

45 maybe. My colleague had her third baby at 40, and had found it no worse than her others (who were 13 and 7 at the time).

My parents were much older than my friends parents, and it was really not a problem

RumourOfAHurricane Sun 28-Jun-09 20:45:34

Message withdrawn

nickytwotimes Sun 28-Jun-09 20:47:49

Totally subjective.
For me it is 40.
If I had met dh at an earlier age or if my health had been better, I would have preferred to have had no.2 before turning 35, but that's life!

Rindercella Sun 28-Jun-09 20:48:59

KM has it spot on imo - once you hit the menopause, it is probably too late to start trying for another child (and I doubt very many women would want to).

It is so subjective though and really what suits one person/couple will not suit another.

I am currently TTC DC2 and I am 39. I had DD when I was 37. I know someone who is pg with her first child and she is 44. You know what, she is so chilled and laid back. She & her partner have been trying for years, so now she's just happy to be pg & healthy and is glowing! smile

cookielove Sun 28-Jun-09 20:54:45

ok, so a parent at nursery was 48 and when she had her baby, she is now in school, i assume she is not going to have anymore. However she did not seem to be run ragged because she was older, infact her dd was absloutly delightful to look after.

Funny though as work colleague was 47 with a 25 year old, and she couldn't imagine having another baby at that age

spicemonster Sun 28-Jun-09 21:03:13

I was 42 when I had my DS incidentally. Just a number as far as I can see

frogs Sun 28-Jun-09 21:11:45

This is too old

missismac Sun 28-Jun-09 21:13:13

A good friend had her first at 42, second at 45. Both lovely kids, Mum & Dad v youthful & involved. In fact seem less tired than me who had my 4th (& last!) at 36. So anytime in 40's I would say.

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