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I'm begining to worry about my DD starting school in September, maybe i shouldnt send her after all.........

(9 Posts)
imaynotbeperfectbutimokmummy Fri 26-Jun-09 10:38:35

Shes not even 4 yet!! She will be at the end of next month.

She is my beautiful little baby and i feel that she is being stolen away from me. I'm not ready for this!

OK - so, that is all about me and im a big girl, i'll get over it. But that is so young. I am really really torn. DD loves nursery and she goes every day, but for 2.5 hours. She will have three weeks only at half a day, then she will all of a sudden have to eat at school and then probably when she is starting to miss me, still not get to come home.

Am i doing the right thing? What if this makes my DD really unhappy? She seems "ready" for school, she certainly takes a lot of occupying and is inquisitive about the world around her. But this is, all day EVERY DAY (apart from weekends) she is going to be spending the majority of her day with other people. Strangers to start off with. She knows very few of the children starting at her school.

I know i could have kept her back a year legally, but she would have to start in year 1 and the fight for decent school places around here is vicious and i have fortunately got her into the best school in the area. This wouldnt be the case if i held her back. Also, she will miss out on the opportunity to form friendships etc.

Its only June, she hasn't even finished pre-school and i have a knot in my tummy that wont go away.

imaynotbeperfectbutimokmummy Fri 26-Jun-09 10:43:26

Sometimes, i have felt that DD has been tired and i've not sent her to nursery. It doesn't happen very often but there have been days when i have thought - this is too much so lets have a lazy day. What if she struggles with the amount of actual time at school - can i, in reception, keep her off school if i feel she is struggling? Are they more lenient about absense in reception? Also, what about holidays - this isn't a huge deal really, and i would never take her out of school once she is in year 1 etc. But would it matter in reception? Would she miss out or are the little ones all working at their own pace, would she miss some vital algebra or grammar lessons?

I thought i was ok with this - obviously not.

norfolklass Fri 26-Jun-09 10:46:45

Just wanted to send you a massive hug because Im feeling exactly the same way. My DS was 4 in february so will actually be 4.6 when he starts in september and is more than ready to go but I feel like Im losing him and I really don't want to.

He is an only child and tbh Im not sure we're having anymore. I had pnd after him and didn't really enjoy the first 2 years of his life very much and now he is such a joy to have around & Im really enjoying him he is being taken from me (I know he isn't but you know what I mean!)

I work saturdays rather than during the week so he'll be at school monday-friday and then I'll be at work saturday while he has a lovely day with my DH so the only time I'll get to see him properly is on a sunday...which just isn't enough.

We went to a meeting at the school this week and while the teacher/school etc seems very nice I actually had tears in my eyes because I really don't want him to go.

I know he'll be ok and Im sure your little girl will be as well but it doesn't make it any easier. Seeing as she is not yet 4 is she just doing half days for the first term? In our area the cut off day is 1st march and my ds was born at end of feb cause he was premature...should have been due beginning of April so if he'd have arrived when he should he'd have been doing half days as well!!

Not much I can say to make you feel any better but just wanted to let you know you aren't alone in feeling sad x

epithet Fri 26-Jun-09 10:47:14

My July baby starts Reception in September too, and I feel like this as well.

I was much happier about her older sister - an October baby - starting. I think a few months make a massive difference at that age.

Even though dd2 is bright and looking forward to it, I have misgivings. She still sometimes naps after lunch and gets ferociously tired on busy days.

Dd2's school does mornings only till after Christmas, which is one good thing. Does your dd's school ease them in, or is it full-on straight away?

(Can reassure you that they won't be doing algebra or grammar in Reception though!)

mrsmortenharket Fri 26-Jun-09 10:50:17

sometimes dd has been tired and i have taken her (she was fine when she got there) and fwiw, i know it sounds horrible, but little ones will try it on smile

have you spoken to her teachers? i think most schools have a parent liaison person who can talk with you.

dd is also starting school in sept, am kind of looking forwards to it and kind of not, it is a big step for both of you. can you go tot the school and have a look roudn talk to the teachers whilst you are there ...

pooka Fri 26-Jun-09 10:50:22

I kept dd off for the odd day here and there when she was noticeably tired.

Just said to myself that she didn't legally have to be there until the term after she was 5, so a duvet day to recover and recharge batteries no bad thing.

DD started at 4.5 - we're fortunate here to have dual entry, so she was a january starter. She was fine - had 2 mornings and then bam! into full time. Very tired by the end of the week and we had a term of her catching every conceivable contagious illness (which meant more time off of course). By the end of the term, even now in year 1, the children start to get pretty exhausted.

I loathed the first year. She was happy and confident and doing well, but I missed her, and hated the fact that I never seemed to get the best of her - was either the morning rush, or the afternoon meltdown (tired) and then weekends never long enough. But have got used to it now, though still admit to keeping her off if she appears genuinely exhausted - i.e. on Weds she was still asleep at 7.45 which is soooo out of character, and when she did eventually wake up she looked shattered. So off we stayed.

imaynotbeperfectbutimokmummy Fri 26-Jun-09 10:53:21

norfolklass - i had pnd too, so know completely what you mean about the time being precious now. I think it must have changed recently with regards to part time because my friends children were part time til january. But apparently, they just do the first three weeks. Other schools in the area seem a lot more laid back.

DD1, now 19! was a june baby and was in the same class as her cousin who was almost a year older than her. My cousins child faired much better in primary school than DD. She was always in the top part of the year, well she would have been, she is almost a year older! My DD will be closer in age to children who are not starting school until next year than she will some of her class mates.

The more i think about this, the unhappier i become.

imaynotbeperfectbutimokmummy Fri 26-Jun-09 10:55:25

I have a meeting with her teacher next week, will raise some of these issues. We had a parents evening last month. Fortunately her teacher seems lovely, but i have taken a dislike to the headmistress already blush

poopscoop Fri 26-Jun-09 10:57:13

I kept 2 of mine at home as they were summer babies and they continued at their nursery for another year. They did have to go into Yr 1 though, and the school will not hold the place for them obviously. Did mine no harm to miss reception.

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