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First bra, when?

(10 Posts)
MarmadukeScarlet Fri 26-Jun-09 10:03:34

DD is 9, she is nearly 1m 50 tall.

I have noticed fairly recently that she has started to develop small breasts, fairly obvious when she wears summer t shirts.

We have talked through how her body will change and what to expect, she doesn't seem to be developing pubic hair or being particularly emotional although she has been a little more challenging - she has always been very even tempered. My GP mentioned her own DD (similar age) and said, "She (her DD) is very emotional she says 'Mummy I don't know why I'm crying'". We have had a few tears but mostly she blames her dear departed cat (died 2 years ago, so I am a little hmm and think she is just trying to give a reason for feeling down).

But anyway, back to the question...

I do not want to make her feel uncomfortable about the changes to her body or make her feel different from her friends. She has started wearing a vest more often.

Should I ask her if she wants some crop tops? Or should I wait until she might fill an AA? Idon't want to start measuring her and drawing it to attention.

I cannot believe I am even contemplationg this, as the mother who only this year allowed her DD a (Big fifties style, with a skirt ruffle bit) bikini. I have always been very much against the 'adultification' of children.

Rubyrubyrubyinthegame Fri 26-Jun-09 10:06:28

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

weegiemum Fri 26-Jun-09 10:10:55

My dd1 is also 9, same height as yours.

I have noticed for a while that tiny "breast buds" were developing, but last week she mentioned it to me "some girls in my class and me are starting to get little boobies".

So we went out at the weekend and bought some little crop tops in tesco - she is delighted with them! She has no need of support yet (is in primary 4 until this afternoon!! - yr 5) but it made her feel more grown up and she liked it!

We are also having the emotional roller coaster - unfortunately at the same time as my PMT so have already synchronised!! She also makes bad excuses - hamster dying a year ago is one of them - and in the end has a good cry, a cuddle and feels better.

I have been making a big effort to have more "grown-up" time with her - reading her a chapter of her book (on Harry Potter 3 just now) or drawing or going shopping - she's actually a great shopper and chose an outfit for a wedding we were at last weekend for me - I wasn't sure but several people compimented me and therefore I told them it was dd1's choice!

twopeople Fri 26-Jun-09 10:16:37

Message withdrawn

MarmadukeScarlet Fri 26-Jun-09 10:22:36

Thank you both for your messages.

I have been trying to spend more 'grown up' time with her, but a bit tricky as have 4 yr old with SN and no real support/care alternatives out of school hours - my DH works away a lot and struggles with DS sometimes when looking after him.

It is difficult for me to read to her regularly as DS takes a very long time to settle in evenings, but we have been snuggling up on a friday night, after DS is asleep, under a blanket on the sofa chatting and eating popcorn, we also watch a dvd or programme of her choice - currently catching up on animal park editions from the Sky+.

I think I will ask her if any of her friends have crop tops, thanks for the link ruby although <thunk> at thought of a 5-6 yr old in one of those.

seeker Fri 26-Jun-09 10:27:59

My dd asked for crop-tops at about this age - could you go shopping with her and "accidentally" find some crop tops and say "Oh look, these are pretty - would you like some?"

My dd started wearing proper bras when she went to secondary school. Don't get me started on the padded bras for pre-teens.........!

lulalullabye Fri 26-Jun-09 10:34:16

Oh my, my dd's are 3 and 23mths and the longer they stay that age the better shock

bruffin Fri 26-Jun-09 10:36:29

My dd is 11 still in primary and now fairly well developed and started periods, has been wearing crop tops for about a year.

TheProfiteroleThief Fri 26-Jun-09 10:38:18

Lots of dds friends (and dd) aged 9 are wearing crop tops - partly modesty and partly they seem to have agonising sensitive nipples, poor things.

Seems like a good halfway house

grendel Fri 26-Jun-09 10:58:19

My DD, 9.10 and very tall, started wearing pretty little crop tops this week. She is very well developed - pubic hair, hair under arms and little breasts [sob! My baby!].

I bought the crop tops a while ago and had kept them at the back of my drawer. She had been away on a residential trip last week and when she came back commented that a friend had said she needed a bra.

I said "Oh, that's interesting. Would you like to try these?" And produced the crop tops. She was just so chuffed, it was amazing. I felt like I'd finally done something right for a change.

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