new baby, 3 year old, sibling rivalry - is it just me?

[Rebecca41]

I'm not sure there's a solution to this - other than time - but I just want to be reassured I'm not the only one.

DS1 is 3.9, DS2 is 8 weeks, I'm a single parent. DS1 has been very hard work since DS2 born, not surprisingly I guess. I've done absolutely everything I can to ease his path into "siblinghood" - trips out, masses of praise for good behaviour, encouragement to help with DS2 etc. I'm limited in what I can do because DS2 just will not sleep without being cuddled, so those planned play-while-the-baby-sleeps sessions aren't happening.

We have no relatives nearby. My parents visited for a few days last week, but that's not something I can rely on all the time. And they drive me mad anyway!

DS1 constantly pesters DS2, pulls his arms around, puts his face right up close, wakes him if he's sleeping etc. He also does many other naughty (and often obviously attention-seeking) things.

I'm doing my absolute best to handle this, but I find that I'm snapping at him all the time. I get to the end of the day and realise I've told him off constantly. I vow to do better the next day, but I never do.

Can anyone reassure me that I'm not the only one who does this? I don't mean to tell DS1 off all the time, but it just feels that all I ever say to him is "don't do that love, stop doing that please, no don't, leave it alone, put that back, if you do that I'll be cross" and so on.

[whomovedmychocolate]

It's hard isn't it? But look, it does get easier and you are doing the right things. Have you considered a sling for the baby though?

[Rebecca41]

Thanks for replying. I've got a sling, which definitely helps, despite the back pain - DS2 is quite a heavy baby!!

[whomovedmychocolate]

Will the baby sleep in the car, I used to drive around to knock ds out and then put him in the buggy and take dd to the park.

[Rebecca41]

That's a good idea, I'll try that.

Did you find yourself telling DD off a lot? I feel so guilty about it.

[whomovedmychocolate]

Oh yes. But to be fair she can be a right little sod challenging at times!

I wouldn't feel too guilty, so you are cross for a few weeks and then things get better, in the long run he won't remember it and hopefully things will start coming together soon. By the time DS was about three months old things got a lot better (and that's in spite of me being in and out of hospital for further surgeries! So there is hope for you yet!)

[cory]

we had the same

I found I needed to spend more time on the older child - difficult when they're being a pita, but necessary

it gets better