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I lost my temper today...(12 Posts)
whilst I was trying to get my 9mth old DS to nap. He used to nap very well but since he has been able to stand up in his cot, getting him to sleep is a nightmare. I have to rock him to slepp in my arms then very gently lay him down and even then it doesn't always work and he gets overtired then.
So after an hour of trying to get him off to sleep this afternoon I shouted at him 'JUST GO TO SLEEP!'
I felt terrible about it afterwards and succeded in only making him cry even more. I hated feeling so out of control and I scared myself too. I felt like the worst mum on the planet and immediately went to pick him up and comfort him. I know that what I did was wrong and it's not something I'll ever repeat.
Please can somebody tell me if they have been in the same situation- it doesn't make me a terrible mother does it?
please don't think you are a terrible mother - cos your not.
Good lord, have you really made it to 9 months without shouting before? Well done you I say. Cetainly bnot a terrible mother I'd say. I yelled like a mad banshee (and certainly said more than 'Just go to sleep') at my DD when she was about 3 weeks old cuase she just would not stop crying (and a few more times in the first few months).
Still occassionally lose it and yell (she is now 3.8) and now have 4mth old DS to add to the mix. Both kids are fine and happy, so am I and it's just one of them things.
As long as your not doing it every minute of the day, don't worry. One trick that worked for me (and still does) is to put baby/child in a safe place and walk away for a couple of mins where you can't hear them and can gather your thoughts.
perfectly normal. there's only so much a person can take before snapping. all you did was shout, he won't be scarred for life.
If you're a terrible mother then I must be too! I shouted at my dd a few times at this age, I was so tired, and she was a terrible sleeper.
I do look back and cringe, but I also know that the good stuff outweighs the bad by miles.
You're only human, and a guilt ridden mummy is a sad mummy. Be happy and don't give yourself a hard time.You sound lovely.
<tentatively> Really? So I don't need to hand him over to Social Services just yet then?
good suggestion imoverhere. When either of my dc's would not settle at bed time I would put them in their cots, then go and have a shower, I couldn't hear the crying and it gave me a few minutes to calm down. Most of the time they were asleep when I came out anyway.
Imoverthere has written a very trueful post and may me feel better as i was the same when baby was little.....sometimes we all have moments like this.
The main thing is to take time out to recompose yourself and then go back calmer
I have done that. I remember quite clearly doing it at 4 months. And I did it today too and DS is almost 3. Thankfully I dont shout at him a lot but I'd be lying through my teeth if I said I never did! You are a human, not a robot. You have stress levels that will rise and make you react as you would prefer not to sometimes.
You didnt hit your baby. And I promise you, that giving all that love 24.7 the rest of the time is not undone by one shout. That was what I have always worried about - that losing my temper invalidated the good times. But it doesnt. It is ok.
No I never felt like hitting him- just felt like really screaming at him so I just shouted those words at him and wagged my finger in his face. God- thanks for that you lot I really felt I was going to get a slating. I'm feeling much better about myself now- thank you.
i shouted 'for fucks sake' at dd at about 3 am this morning [shame on me emotion]
in my defence i have not had a proper nights sleep for 11 months,
and since being on my own with no one to 'hand over to' it so hard to remain the perfect mother 24/7,
that and being back at work almost full time, juggling home/life/work is bloody tough,
go easy on yourself, none of us are perfect
The best parenting advice I was ever given was by my HV when I was a very young, clueless mother to DS1. She told me to go into the garden for 3 minutes when I felt I couldn't cope, and that screaming for 3 minutes wouldn't harm him. So I did - and he is a happy, well-adjusted 22 year old now.
You are not a bad mother - we have all been there. When you feel like this - walk away for a few minutes. He will be fine.
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