I cant be the only person that feels like this surely?! I live miles away from family and whilst I have a couple of friends near me they both work full time. So during the day its me and ds 3 and dd1 until dp comes home.
Ive tried going to the toddler group near me but hated it, I try and say hello to people when Im out but the women that are around my ages look at me like Ive got two heads. There was some family support thing that I emailed but they dont have it near me as yet. I am very agoraphobic and so I dont feel able to go outside most of the time. The children play well together so most of the time they do entertain themselves though I dont mind baking, cooking, bit of gardening and craft stuff with them, things that I can do at home. I worry so much that Im damaging them. Ds goes to nursery twice a week and loves it, thats usually the only times I go out during the week unless its a weekend and we are all out together.
Ive managed to take the children to a soft play area before but it made me so anxious, I found it quite stressful and I dont have a great deal of self esteem or confidence. I dont speak to or see any adults until Dp gets home.
I can usually deal with the fact that I dont do much but Id hate to think that my children are missing out. It does upset me, and I know Ive posted about this before, it seems to be a vicious circle. Im hoping that we get a house move/transfer to where Im from in the future so I can be near family again, I know Id feel more able to get on and do things then, and Id have the support and familiarity that I need.
I saw a gp I registered with (Ive since moved back to my old gps but havent visited her yet as its in the city centre, Im in the outskirts and I cant face it all with the children) but he wasnt very helpful, said I couldnt have that cbt as the waiting list was too long, so wanted to arrange counselling but I didnt have anyone to have the children to enable me to go.
I know there are people on here near me that meet up etc but I dont have the confidence to go and I worry that the kids might be a handful and I'll get into a state.
My children seem happy enough but I know some mums are off doing things all the time and I feel so inadequate. I thought Id feel more grown up at 27
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I worry Im a crap mum
4 replies
dillinger · 23/06/2009 14:38
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