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SAHM - do you get a break?

(29 Posts)
Frasersmum123 Sat 20-Jun-09 16:48:17

And do you feel guilty about it.

My DS2 is currently doing 2 mornings in a private nursery, but will start at playschool in September. He is ASD and alot of work.

My MIL pays for it as she thought it would help his socialisation, but now that he is moving to playschool she has hinted about putting DD in to the private nursery for a morning so that I can have a break.

Its a lovely idea, but I feel so guilty. Should I hake off the guilt and accept her offer? Do other SAHM get a break?

hercules1 Sat 20-Jun-09 16:53:54

I'm not a sahp but go for it.

smallorange Sat 20-Jun-09 16:55:34

god accept any help you can get. really.

sarah293 Sat 20-Jun-09 16:56:18

Message withdrawn

mulranno Sat 20-Jun-09 17:25:26

look on it as an investment in your get to refuel/recharge in order to do a better job for your family

bambipie Sat 20-Jun-09 17:31:29

Your MIL sounds lovely. Accept and no need to feel guilty - if you can get other stuff done or even just have a snooze you'll enjoy the time with the DCs more.

flamingobingo Sat 20-Jun-09 17:34:10

Yes, and yes I feel guilty. Not about the children - they get looked after by friends or family - but because I have an overwhelming feeling that I chose to have them, so I should be able to cope without help.

misshardbroom Sat 20-Jun-09 17:59:59

In any other job you get time off. If you worked in an office, nobody would expect you to perform to your highest ability if you were on duty 12 hours a day, 7 days a week and were woken in the night to deal with work matters. So why should being a SAHM be any different?

crokky Sat 20-Jun-09 18:04:47

Depends on how old your DD is. I am a SAHM to DS (3, also prob ASD, at school nursery 3 days a week) and DD (1). Since I am a SAHM, I wouldn't put DD in a nursery for a morning even if someone else paid because I don't think she is ready yet (she's 15m) and I am lucky enough to be able to stay wiht her.

Frasersmum123 Sat 20-Jun-09 18:54:45

DD is 8 months

shhhh Sat 20-Jun-09 23:55:52

I would accept the offer.. give it a trial and see how you feel about it. Stop it if you are not happy with the arrangement etc.

Im a sahm and had dd (4) full time till she started preschool aged 3.4 yrs. She goes 2 days a week to get her ready for big school in sept...I guess I could have put her in sooner or even put ds in at the same time BUT I never wanted to. Felt there was no reason.

BUT I still have ds. Im lucky that on the days that dd is in preschool and when ds has his afternoon nap I have a few hours break.

Dh has been working away alot since sept so im pretty much alone weekdays. Odd occasion he is home at night/day so can help and give me a break etc.

Tends to be weekends when I get time to shop alone or get hair etc done.

MrsBonJovi Sat 20-Jun-09 23:59:12

Snap up the deserve it!

cornsilk Sun 21-Jun-09 00:00:13

Do it. What a fab MIL you have!

Fizzylemonade Sun 21-Jun-09 00:26:40

Do it, I am a sahm, ds1 is in school now, ds2 is just 3 and has been going to a playgroup without me since he was 2 1/4 for 2 mornings a week.

I don't regret it one bit. It is lovely to have a break (nice to pee without an audience too ) grin

I did put ds1 into nursery for one day a week because he was used to going 3 days a week when I worked full time. I became a sahm when he was 15 months. He continued there until preschool.

It is not like MIL is suggesting your DD goes full time. You still get plenty of time with her. Enjoy the break, have some "me" time.

Alishanty Mon 22-Jun-09 17:37:17

Yes. ds 2.10 goes to MIL one afternoon a week and nursery for one afternoon. I also have 10 mth old dd who is with me all the time apart from when I go out shopping or something and leave her with dp. Be glad of the help and in my case I know MIL and my mum like to spend time with the gc and ds enjoys nursery.

TrinityRhino Mon 22-Jun-09 17:39:19

1 hour on a wednesday morning

I would jump at the chance and dont feel guilty

littleducks Mon 22-Jun-09 17:45:26

no i dont

dd does go to preschool but ds is 14 mths and stays with me

i tend to view nap time as a break

personally i would prob wait till your ddd was 1 before putting her in nursery, as i think once a week can be tricky as they forget about nursery in between and find it harder to settle

but if you want a break then go for it

FlyMeToDunoon Mon 22-Jun-09 17:47:35

None unless negotiated with DP, so eh not much really.
DD3 will be going to nursery 2 mornings a week in September and I can't wait.
Take this time!

BonsoirAnna Mon 22-Jun-09 17:50:26

Your MIL sounds like manna from heaven smile, provided you get to choose the nursery and are happy with it! Don't be guilty - be grateful!

sfxmum Mon 22-Jun-09 17:51:21

accept help, raising children is hard work and you need time for yourself

my dd is 4 and has been at nursery 2 then 3 mornings a week for a year now
It is good for me

before then I would generally get one day at the weekend when dh would be 'in charge'
it is necessary to stay sane

IMHO grin

therealpf Mon 22-Jun-09 17:51:40

Go for it

Every mother feels guilty whatever they do - at some point about something. Some of us more than others but everyone does. It still doesn't change the fact that you will be a nicer person with a break!

Wheelybug Mon 22-Jun-09 17:59:47

DD1 went to preschool at 2.8 for 3 mornings for the first year so I got this break. DD2 didn't arrive until March of her second year and dd1 went up to 5 mornings so I was going to have 6 months of 'me time' before entering the baby stuff again but unforunately DH got ill a tthe beginning of sept and was off sick until January so I didn't quite get the break I planned (although once dh was better but not well enough for work we had a thoroughly enjoyable time going out for coffee etc,whilst dd was at nursery).

Anyway, never felt guilty about it and it sounds like you particularly need it. Go for it !

poshtottie Mon 22-Jun-09 18:54:57

My ds has always gone to nursery one afternoon a week and he goes to my mil's all day Thursday and stays the night.

I don't feel guilty at all.

Qally Mon 22-Jun-09 23:36:03

God yes. Everyone needs sleep a break sometimes!

VeraChuckandDave Tue 23-Jun-09 08:53:35

What a lovely MIL. Accept and don't feel guilty at all.

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