Help Ex-H being a twat again about DS

[nicolamumof3]

My ex-h and i split 9yrs ago we have one DS together who's now 10.

I have two further children aged 3.5yr and 23m. he is remarried with no further children.

he's quite emotionally abusive and was an awful husband and father which is why we split.

every so often something will 'blow up' and he will call and shout and rant. now the latest is that DS1 has gone for the w/end there and he is angry that a project due in on Monday has not been completed as he would have liked. that i have not given enough support time. this argument has then escalated i refuse to argue or be shouted at by him. DS is actually continually frightened by his reactions to things and constantly asks me 'not to tell daddy' things for fear of being told off. Anyway Ex-H now says he wants DS to live with him. This can't happen surely? im between screaming and crying atm and need to get this off my chest as home alone dp working.

[BlueBumedFly]

At the end of the day if ds says he wants to live with you then that is how it is. No court will find for the father living alone over a mother with a loving and stable home, especially as ds is scared.

I am so sorry you are having to go through this. Ex is eligible for visitation obviously but not against ds's will. Bless you, I would just want him back to give him a big hug. I hope you find a way through this tough time xx

[nicolamumof3]

i know i do want him home now. i hope he didn't hear his father shouting down the phone at me?

don't get me wrong he does love his dad v.much but he is always worried how he will react which is not good is it? i guess im scared that ds may say yes i do want to live with dad, after all he has sky tv/wii in his bedroom, late bedtimes, lots of sweets/junk food, what 10yr old wouldn't choose that

[BlueBumedFly]

He will want his mum more. Trust me. I am a step child and when my dad left he took us out every weekend with treats, sweets, cinema etc. All I really wanted was time with him to sit and char and chill. All the bells and whistles took that away. I live my real dad but at 38 my mum always comes first as she was the one who listened and made stuff right. Xxxx

[BlueBumedFly]

Sorry, love not live and chat nor char ... Bloody iPhone keyboard

[nicolamumof3]

Thanks for that

[edam]

Clearly your ex is still emotionally abusive only now it's harder to get at you he's taking it out on ds. Tosser.

And as others have said, he's talking rubbish about ds living with him.