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Parenting

Witnessed very poor parenting today, feel atrocious, what on earth can I do?

52 replies

Jumente · 18/06/2009 21:51

I was driving to Argos after leaving ds at a friend's house after school.

Along a busy road by an industrial estate a woman was walking away from a child of about 8 or 9, who screamed as I drove past in such a heart rending manner i COULD not carry on - I drove up the road to a mini roundabout and came back.
His mother had left him at the side of the road, crying his heart out, and carried on walking with her buggy and a 2/3 year old strapped in, who seemed Ok.

The boy was walking slowly when I had parked, and I had seen his mum hiding with a look of glee on her face behind a hedge.

The boy was crying and looked blank. I said 'Are you Ok? Your mum is just behind that hedge' and he kind of looked at me and pointed vaguely after her saying 'gone look for my mum' in a way reminiscent of a four year old.

She came out from the hedge grinning at me and I said something or other about it, and she told me she thought he would hurry up if she hid. I said 'it didn't work, I don't think he understands' and she seemed unpeturbed, and made to go off at which point the boy obviously annoyed her somehow and she grabbed his arm viciously and threw him onto the pavement, where he lay crying again.

I went back (ds2 was in the car) and started asking her if he was getting any help, and she said 'he's got problems, he's got ADHD and stuff' I said #are you getting any help for him' and she said 'yeah I'm doing the forms at the moment'

she seemed very happy to talk, despite being obviously pretty cruel and kept saying things like ;he's a little shit, he's been winding me up all the way from school, he's fine with his dad, does everything right for his dad but me, he knows how to wind me up. They're both little shits so I'm not having any more'. She also said it was very frustrating for her, and I can see it must be if he behaves like a small child continually, but heck, adhd? Why has his probable autism (I mentioned this and she agreed) or similar not been picked up? He was 8 or 9.

All the time smiling - she looked really deranged. I was trying so hard to think what to say while I ahd a chance, but all \i could think of was to say to the little boy 'you're a good lad aren't you' and smiling at him, and telling her I found my ds1 really hard at times but you need to step back.

I left them saying 'you need to watch it treating him like that, you'll get into trouble, it looks quite violent' but she just seemed oblivious and wandered off with them both.

I turned round again and as I drove by, he was again sat on the pavement further up the road - i waved, he waved back blankly and started to try and come after the car
but I had to go or she might have thought I was following them.

I have felt wretched all evening about it. It was truly shit and I even rang the nspcc who suggested contacting his school, in case they are able to identify her/the lad, but there was nothing they could do.

What should i have done or said. Poor kid.

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Jumente · 18/06/2009 21:54

Sorry I didn't mean to put autism, as such, just some kind of severe learning difficulty which I could not obviously diagnose myself. Sorry if that sounded a bit stupid.

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