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Parenting

I have a wee Orangutan baby........help!

14 replies

BunnyLebowski · 18/06/2009 14:30

My dd is 8 months and has always been a healthy happy smiley wee thing.

She probably doesn't see as many people as she should as we live away from family and I have no friends (but that's another story) but she has always loved new people and smiles and goes to them.

Until now that is. She is SO clingy with me. During the day I put her in her bouncy chair with toys or to watch In the Night Garden and she cries and cries to be lifted. It's making it impossible for me to get on with the housework. She even seems to be scared of the Ninky-nonk (which she used to love) and clings to me all panicked when it comes on the telly!

When she's tired she won't even let DP walk her - she cries and cries and holds her arms out to me.

It's so hard because instinctively I want to take her and comfort her but I'm worried I'm making a rod for my own back.

Has anyone else experienced anything like this? Any advice would be much appreciated.

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PortAndLemon · 18/06/2009 14:32

It's a pretty normal phase around that age. Give her plenty of cuddles and the reassurance that you are always there for her, and she'll get over it.

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CMOTdibbler · 18/06/2009 14:34

No such thing as a rod for your own back when it comes to comforting your baby. Get a sling, and then you can cuddle her and be with her whilst doing the housework

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BunnyLebowski · 18/06/2009 14:35

Thanks Port - I was hoping people would say that. I really don't want to start trying to discipline her.

My approach to mothering is pretty much love and cuddles all the time!

Will continue as such and remember my mother's mantra

"This too will pass"

Thanks

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nigglewiggle · 18/06/2009 14:35

My DD's both got like this when they were teething. Could this be a factor?

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squeaver · 18/06/2009 14:36

Yes it's separation anxiety, very very common.

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GrimmaTheNome · 18/06/2009 14:36

Oh yes. I thought of mine more as a lemur. Its normal behaviour in all primates, isn't it - including humans.

I'd have to say, follow your instincts. She will grow out of it at some point before she actually breaks your back. Might be good if you get DP to look after her and hold her a lotbefore she's overtired - maybe with you totally out of the way.

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BunnyLebowski · 18/06/2009 14:41

niggle - very possibly she has her 2 top and 2 bottom front teeth now. Could be more coming soon.

CMOT - I have a sling whice has been great but now that she's a bit heavier it's not so comfortable. Oh and she's an independent wee missis - wants to be crawling around all day!

I'm thinking of getting a playpen so she can play while I do the housework. Not much space for her but at least she can move around and not bump her head.

squeaver - I think you're right about the separation anxiety. Do you think it's more likely if baby is breastfed? (dd is). I was explaining to DP that this could be the case as I've been her main source of comfort/warmth/food she'll want me over him.

It's hard for him the poor thing. I know he feels rejected when she cries for me

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charitygirl · 19/06/2009 10:56

If she wants to be crawling around, then she may be crying with frustration (partly)about being in their chsir. My 8 month old is very alert to any attempt to 'trap' him and would definitely cry in a chair.

But 8-9 months is PRIME clingy territory - they are just working out that they are separate from you which, from their point of view is

(a) ace, because they can crawl around and have independent fun

but also

(b) terrifying because you might go away (AND NEVER COME BACK!!!).

He's also starting to cry for me more, despite always having been a huge daddy-fan up to now.

So look how completely normal is it! Don't worry about rods, but it would be good to find a safe place for her to crawl around, or just keep her in the room with you. Today DS has crawled round my legs while I was unloading the washing, and while I was changing the beds.

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charitygirl · 19/06/2009 10:57

PS I totally want a real orangatun baby!

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treedelivery · 19/06/2009 10:58

I thought you meant your dd was ginger

Rods good, bonding sticks we call them around here. Those who advise against them are just pissed they don't have on as big as yours.

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posieparker · 19/06/2009 11:00

My exceedingly independent 2 yr odl was the most clingy until she was 15mths.... I would just go with it as it serves to provide a thoroughly secure child.

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theDreadPirateRoberts · 19/06/2009 11:02

Really common behaviour at 8-9 months as others have said. Apparently this is why 'peekaboo' is a great game at this age, as it teaches them that you always come back, even though 'hidden' for a while...

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charitygirl · 19/06/2009 11:04

YES! My DS LOVES peekaboo!

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BunnyLebowski · 19/06/2009 23:24

Aw thank you everyone....I feel much calmer now!

She has free reign of the living room now (with me beside her lifting items which would inevitably end up in her mouth!). Tiring but fun. She has it in for the poor cat - 2 tail pulls and an attempted lick today!

treedelivery - haha as if I'd say that about my dd for haveing red hair!

And charity - it's my one ambition in life to hang out with baby orangutans or chimps. DP is aware of this as I remind him regularly but no ticket to Borneo as yet . Maybe for my birthday next year!