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Isn't 5 a bit young for boys??

(13 Posts)
misshardbroom Wed 17-Jun-09 22:25:35

My dd is 5 (in reception), she'll be 6 in September.

Every afternoon, her bookbag is full of bits and pieces of drawing and colouring, so I usually do a clear out so I can find any important letters, bits of homework etc.

This afternoon there was a piece of paper covered in little hearts and (in her writing) several sentences about a boy in her class (let's call him 'Tom'):

I love Tom
I want to kiss Tom
I want to marry Tom

This ties in with a lot of talk of who is going to marry who, and about who likes who, plus renditions of 'Mummy and Daddy, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G' on the rare occasions that DH and I show each other any affection.

I think nearly-6 is way way way too young to develop an interest in boys as anything other than friends. I'm not entirely comfortable with her writing things like this. I think in class she should be concentrating on the activities on offer rather than thinking about the lads.

But... I do believe in picking my battles. I also think that if you go off the deep end about everything, it loses any impact when they do something truly terrible that really warrants that response.

So if you were me, what (if anything) would you do?

GrimmaTheNome Wed 17-Jun-09 22:34:18

Ignore it. Or ask her if she'd like Tom to come for a playdate.

Its probably just part of the continuum of pretend games. My DD at 3 would have said all those things about Max... who was our dog. grin

misshardbroom Wed 17-Jun-09 22:36:09

actually I was quite impressed at her writing three sentences independently grin

Eve4Walle Wed 17-Jun-09 22:42:06

My DD is in Year R and goes up to Year 1 in September.

She has a boyfriend who looks after her in the playground, and she says she wants to marry him. She doesn't understand that she'd have to live with him and it's all a fantasy really - they are just rationalising marriage and playing at what they seem to be the norm.

It will be fine - I agree with Grimma - ask if he wants to come over for a playdate and you'll see that there's nothing to be concerned about.

PrettyCandles Wed 17-Jun-09 22:43:53

This is completely normal. And innocent.

In Reception:

dd: X kissed me today.
me: Where?
dd: On the carpet.
me: I mean where on your body?
dd: On my lips.
me: How did you feel about it?
dd: Oh, quite nice.
me: What did you do?
dd: I kissed him back.
me: What did Miss Teacher think about it?
dd: She doesn't mind. She knows I like X.

When I related this to X's mother, she PHSL.

By Y1 X was no longer on the radar, now it was Y (who turned and fled whenever dd ran up to him in the playground). She never refered to X as her boyfriend, but Y certainly held that title - and she shared him quite happily with 2 other girls. Y came on a playdate: perfectly nice boy, absolutely nothing worrying went on. (Though he has a rather dishy dad.)

Now Y has fallen of the radar, and she talks about marrying Z. I have no idea who Z is.

WWID? Absolutely nothing, just listen to her, enjoy her innocence, ask non-judgemental questions, and help her feel that she can talk to you about anything.

EyeballsandherSunburntNorks Wed 17-Jun-09 22:45:37

My niece at 5 had it all sorted out who she was going to marry, that she was having 5 children and what their names were. She wanted to start squeezing them out at 13. hmm

Yurtgirl Wed 17-Jun-09 22:47:37

I fell for a boy on my very first day at school - I soon discovered he was the genius of the class!
We were 'in love' for two years
Before I was spurned for another
He still fancied me years later so I am told

Dont worry its normal and harmless

funnypeculiar Wed 17-Jun-09 22:49:53

Ds's mate's sister (who is 3) announced she is going to marry ds - she will be wearing pink lipstick, a white dress and pom bear crisps as a tiara grin

This sort of thing is certainly starting to wash around in ds's (reception) class - all very innocent and sweet, imo. Ds certainly has 'favourite' girls. As others have said, I would do nothing/invite Tom over smile Tbh, I can't see what else you could do about it - you can't tell a child they can't like someone, can you...

clemette Wed 17-Jun-09 22:52:41

DD (aged 4) has been marrying Lewis since Christmas ... until today when she said she was marrying Tabitha (we have had a vague conversation about how men can marry men and women can marry women).
My only issues with the marriage thing is that Lewis is not very bright wink

misshardbroom Wed 17-Jun-09 22:54:26

Thanks for all your replies.

No, I agree I can't tell her not to like him (and nor would I, I've no problem with her liking the child, I'm just a bit hmm about the 'way' in which she likes him, or thinks she does).

I suppose I hadn't decided whether or not I should speak to her about writing that sort of thing.

The whole 'I'm going to marry X' business is not new to me, she had a little boy at nursery that she was going to marry... it's more the 'I want to kiss Tom' part that surprised me a bit.

mollymawk Wed 17-Jun-09 22:55:31

Now, a Pom bear tiara, that would be fab. Wish I'd thought of that for my wedding.

DS1 (in Yr 1) used to go on about he and girl X were going to marry when they grew up, unless he decided to marry girl Y instead, and it was oh so difficult to decide, etc, but that seems to have faded out now.

Yurtgirl Wed 17-Jun-09 23:07:33

I realised my love interest was really clever by week two of reception class - I remember the day I told my mum on the way home!
13 years later he got multiple A levels grade A and went on to do something very clever at uni - So I was right, he was the brightest kid in the school

PrettyCandles Wed 17-Jun-09 23:15:02

But why shouldn't she want to kiss someone that she likes? After all, she kisses you, she kisses daddy, daddies kiss mummies. It's all very nice and comforting. There's nothing sexual about it.

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