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Can someone please give me some stories of very close siblings who have more than a 2 year age gap?I need to know it will all work out

(66 Posts)
nolongerchunkybutstillapudding Wed 17-Jun-09 20:56:40

Bonkers as it sounds.

Thing is, there was only 17 months between me and my brother and we have always been really close,were best mates as teeny kids...

When ds was 13 mo I got pg and was so happy as my kids would be close in age,ds would be 22mo when dc2 born,everything felt 'right' (not just based on my closeness with my brother,it just felt like everything fell into place iyswim)

However I had a mmc diagnosed at 12 week scan,was a total shock and to cut a long story short I lost that pg and for various reasons which are fairly shite have not been able to ttc since...tho think am up for it now! least a...umm...27 month gap (I think?) even if I got pg tomorrow...

Surely this whole 'right age gap' thing is bollocks anyway,doesn't it depend on the kids? (pleading emoticon)

Sorry for the self indulgent ramble x

Portofino Wed 17-Jun-09 21:02:05

Um, not a sibling exacrly, but dd (5.5)has a friend at maternelle who is nearly 3 years younger. She looks out for her all the time and tells me that she is the "cutest girl in the school". When I see them together I feel bad that I haven't given her a sibling....

Also my aunt is 10 years older than me. Through family circumstances we shared a room when i was little. We have always been as close as sisters - even 30 years plus on....

Wheelybug Wed 17-Jun-09 21:03:08

Yes - exactly depends on the kids but I know where you are coming from. I 'planned' a 2.5 year age gap. Conceived so I would have had a 2.2 age gap and miscarried. Then was obssessed with idea of age gap.

I finally got pregnant and now have a 4.5 year old and a 14 week old - a much much larger age gap than I planned. Whilst i still worry about the age gap, the last 14 weeks have been great - dd1 is besotted with dd2 and it is working out just fine.

I have 2 brothers who are 20 months apart and then I am 3 years younger than the youngest one (so just over 4.7 years younger than the oldest). Now in our 30s my 2 brothers get on the least out of the different relationships because they are chalk and cheese. I have just as good a relationship with each of them but different as I'm personality wise somewhere between the two.

I have friends who have siblings much older/younger than them and get on brilliantly. Then I have friends with small gaps who don't get on. And of course vice versa.

I won't say don't obsess about it because I spent 2 years doing just that but try not to worry about it too much.

bosch Wed 17-Jun-09 21:03:52

Have a 22 month age gap between ds1 and ds2, and a 39 month age gap between ds2 and ds3. It all works! They are good friends and ds3 (2) just plays with all of ds1 (7) and ds2 (5) toys. The dynamic of the friendships means that someone gets left out of things most days - but only for a few minutes.

You'll be fine (and good luck - I had early m/c before ds1 and ds3. Good to hear you're ready to get back in the saddle, as it were. I got lots of support from MN during my third pregnancy after the second m/c when I felt distinctly wobbly/nervous.)

Houseofpants Wed 17-Jun-09 21:04:55

I have 3.9years between my 2 and they are very close.Eldest goes camping with inlaws every year,and youngest pines for the 5 days he's away!.I am one of 5 and 3 years between us all,we were close as children and as adults get on very well with my middle(3 yr diff)and youngest(8yr diff)sisters,not so close to my bro's but maybe that's because,they were up trees,not playing dollies lol!

MrsMcCluskey Wed 17-Jun-09 21:05:25

My 2 DS's are 2 yrs 8 months gap and are really close.
Sorry to hear about your mmc.Same happened to me at 13 weeks.

PavlovtheForgetfulCat Wed 17-Jun-09 21:07:30

my dh and his bil are v close. 3.4 years between them.

My sister and I were very close, 9 years between us. We no longer talk but nothing to do with age gap, rather more to do with her being a --biatch-- not very pleasant person.

There will be 3.4 years between DD and her sibling.

Hassled Wed 17-Jun-09 21:09:26

Blimey, 27 months is nothing.

DS2 and DS3 have 4 years between them. They are now 7 & 11 and the best of friends - play together constantly, share a bedroom and are very very close. They have the odd fall-out, but nothing significant. They sort of depend on each other in a really sweet way. And when DS3 was born, DS2 was old enough to understand the whole thing - there was no jealousy, no regression etc.

Elk Wed 17-Jun-09 21:15:59

There is 2yrs 8 months between my dd's, they are 6 and 3 now and absolutely adore each other. They have shared a room for nearly three years and enjoy playing together so much. Dd2 fell off a chair and banged her elbow today and required dd1 to cuddle her and kiss her better and not me!!!

They play playmobil together and mad singing bouncing songs on the trampoline. In fact, watching them play (when they can't see me) is one of my favourite things to do.

KEAWYED Wed 17-Jun-09 21:17:33

There is 3 and a half years between my 2 eldest sons and they absolutely dote on each.

I love the relationship they have (most of the time)

They argue like any siblings but are very protective of each other and even asked to share a room.

There is 2 years and 3 months between my middle son and youngest but reubens only 5 weeks old so i will have to see how that relationship develops, though i think they will all be as thick as thieves.

Skimty Thu 18-Jun-09 09:56:21

2.5 years between me and DB1. We can oly just stand to be in the same room.

7 years between me and DB2. We get on really well!

I can appreciate how you feel. A good friend is trying to conceive DC2 and is watching the age gap expand in front of her... sad

funnypeculiar Thu 18-Jun-09 10:04:54

I'm one of four.
Past early childhood, have never got on with my closest in age brother (3 yrs difference). But i am very close to my youngest sibling - 11 years difference. I loved looking after her as a little one, and now we have a lovely relationship - I always hear about her trials and tribulations,and enjoyed buying her unsuitable clothes/makeup/drinks as a budding teenager. I think any age-gap can work wi8th the right children (am not anticipating you leave 11 years, though smile

And my dh has a 7 year age gap with his brother, and they are also very close (although less so as young children)

KidsTunes Thu 18-Jun-09 10:16:53

Where'd you get the idea that 2 years is the ideal gap?

Nahui Thu 18-Jun-09 10:21:02

Message withdrawn

yappybluedog Thu 18-Jun-09 10:24:54

I was very close to my youngest sister, an age difference of 12 years

my middle sisters have an age gap of 2 years and hated each other growing up - even now they bicker

I'm not sure there is any rhyme or reason to it, tbh

meandjoe Thu 18-Jun-09 10:25:35

There is 5 and half years between me and my sister and we are very close now although weren't as kids but that had more to do with personality rather than age gap. 3.5 years between me and my brother and we were best friends throughout our childhood and our teens. It's more to do with tempraments I think.

stealthsquiggle Thu 18-Jun-09 10:26:02

There was 17 months (to the day) between me and DB1 - we fought constantly throughout childhood (although we did do a lot of stuff together) and are not close (understatment) now.

There is 4 years between my DC and they adore each other. Last weekend they played happily together literally the whole day with no parental intervention required - DD hero-worships DS, and DS loves to look after DD. It works really really well (for the moment - and long may it last <<crosses fingers>> grin)

QuintessentialShadow Thu 18-Jun-09 10:26:50

There is 38 months between my 2. They get on really well, and love eachother lots.

LeninGrad Thu 18-Jun-09 10:28:34

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

funnypeculiar Thu 18-Jun-09 10:31:40

Incidentally, there is research that states that if there is an age gap of less than 2 years, the second child has a lower IQ. . So actually, over 2 years can have positive benefits...

<disclaimer IQ tests measure what IQ test have defined rather than intelligence per se)

(my two are 2 yrs 1 mth apart, so hideously bright grin)

DidEinsteinsMum Thu 18-Jun-09 10:44:22

Same as Skimty

Two year between me a sis1 can even bare to talk to each other never mind be in the same room.

7 years between me and sis2 and until recently we were very close.

What happens in adulthood is a whole other story. Hopefully we will sort things out when we a no longer living under the same roof. Have no intention of even trying with sis1.

yappybluedog Thu 18-Jun-09 10:47:50

my dd is also very close with her cousin, who is 8 years older, she thinks she is all grown-up and cousin gets to play like a kid again

clemette Thu 18-Jun-09 10:55:29

There is exactly the same gap between my sister and I that there is between DD and DS - 34 months. I am very close to my sister and DD adores DS (he is now 17 months and they are each other's number one fans.)
I had planned a smaller gap but took much longer to TTC number 2. In retrospect I think it is a really good gap - DD fully understood what was happening and it seems to have, so far, prevented any sibling rivalry.

Uriel Thu 18-Jun-09 10:59:22

There's a 3 year, 3 month age gap between 2 of mine. One's at secondary, the other still at primary.
They're very, very close and spend all most of their time together.

willali Thu 18-Jun-09 12:50:28

I think personality is more relevant than age gap in determining whether they will be friends- my 2 are completely different in almost all ways. THis is completely out of your hands so I would say just relax and go with the flow smile.

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