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I know it's normal but reassure me about small children 'touching' each other.

(11 Posts)
shootfromthehip Wed 17-Jun-09 18:38:12

My 5 yr old came home from the childminder today and told me that she and a 5 yr old boy were otuching each other's 'bits'. Apparently some of the other children were busy playing elswhere so this little boy said that he would be my LO's friend if she showed him her vagina.

She obliged.

He asked to touch it.

She obliged.

Not being a wallflower, she asked to see his penis.

She didn't touch it.

They made an arrangement to do the same thing next week shock.

Now the childminder was up and down the stairs checking on them but this appears to have happened very quickly.

I know it's normal and it was all very innocent but I'm reeling. Aargh.

I kept the whole thing very low key and explained about bodies being private (we are a very laid back family about nudity and bodies and DD has numerous books and knows the correct terms for things if that matters?), but I must admit to feeling a bit funny about the whole thing.

What should I have said/ would you have said? I've asked the Childminder to have a word with the wee boy/ his parents and told my DD not to do it again. Should I have? AAargh again.

Please give me your thoughts.

Thanks in advance

ElfOnTheTopShelf Wed 17-Jun-09 18:54:34

Gosh.
Not sure what to say to be honest.
How long were they unsupervised for?

shootfromthehip Wed 17-Jun-09 19:10:30

Sorry was putting the kids to bed- apparently they were only own their own for about 5 mins, which I believe as there were 2 childminders there.

Any help/ reassurance?

OldLadyKnowsNothing Wed 17-Jun-09 19:14:04

It all sounds absolutely normal to me. Children of that age are curious. Are you worried that your DD has been in some way damaged by this?

shootfromthehip Wed 17-Jun-09 19:20:09

Emotionally, she is as robust as the day is long, she was curious as was he, end of. Physically I think there was very little actually going on.

I, on the other hand, am a bit peturbed by the idea of anyone touching her. The only reason I'm not in tears was that it was a 5 yr old boy, not a grown-up man iykwim?

Sorry am probaly totally over-reacting but it sort of came out of the blue. That said I'd rather deal with some innocent touching now than some not so innocent touching later.

OldLadyKnowsNothing Wed 17-Jun-09 19:22:37

I see what you're saying, but the touch was no more a sexual one than when she was having her nappies changed a couple of years ago. Does it help if you think of it that way?

agingoth Wed 17-Jun-09 19:23:43

It really is completely normal. Just don't be anxious about it and dd will be absolutely fine.

The little boy has done absolutely nothing wrong of course so I hope he doesn't get a 'telling off' from the childminder/parents (from my distant experience, a friend's 4 year old son was actually called an 'abuser' by the family of a little girl he was playing with when this kind of thing happened )

shootfromthehip Wed 17-Jun-09 19:27:54

God, the wee boy was no more at fault than my DD and she was just being nosey. TBH thinking of it like the nappy changing helps. It's just me being silly. It's just prompted me to have conversations with her that I didn't want to have yet about privacy and strangers and appropriateness.

My issue and not hers sad

agingoth Wed 17-Jun-09 19:31:47

I really think it is just nosiness at that age and the knowledge which they already have that they're doing something 'naughty'....

I tried the privacy conversation with ds1 when he went through a phase of getting his willy out a lot! Not sure he understood it though hmm

shootfromthehip Wed 17-Jun-09 19:35:17

Thanks all

shhhh Wed 17-Jun-09 20:45:37

sorry but rotflmao at "arranged to do the same thing next week" grinshock.

As though "its a date" !!!

Not sure what to advise you, dd (4) and ds (2) are obsessed with their's and each other bits and are constantly touching each others bits and saying x's willy or x's lady gaga (as ds calls it hmm).

I just laugh it off and say, don't prod you will hurt them/yourself..

ds esp is obsesses with my boobs hmm gets a bit embarassing when out and about and he's adamant I have a willy hmm So much so he has me checking hmmgrin

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