What do you think about second hand baby things?(42 Posts)
She is bonkers. Nothing wrong with second hand things whatsoever. It was very generous of you.
I wouldn't take a second hand car seat tbh, but I'd take the pram and the moses basket and like you say get a new mattress.
However, when I expecting my first, I was also of the thought that it would be better to have everything brand new. Think it's just a normal thing for most first timers.
Like you say, her decision. You've offered her these things and she has turned them down, not much else to be done IMO.
Is there not that grant thingie now
i think that was around £250-500.....just about right for those items new.
I used 2nd hand of most stuff and am perfectly happy with 2nd hand
I'd be tempted to suggest to you that you show her info that says about just needing new mattress - but have a feeling it would make no difference to her, and might just make things uncomfortable.
When I had my DD (first child) I was the same as your friend, just wanted all brand new stuff for her - although I did have the money and didn't have to borrow. After a few months I realised that I was being over sensitive and was happy to accept 2nd hand stuff (after all, you can just pass on what you don't like need).
With DS I've had a mixure of new and second hand and I really don't mind now.
If your friend is that determined to get new can't she get a loan from a more reputable source, with cheaper interest rates - surely a credit card would be cheaper? Or if she is that poor, can't she get a grant from social services?
Personally I think there is nothing at all wrong with them. DS2 uses clothes, bedding, etc etc that have served DS1, his 2 cousins and my friend's 2 LOs and they are all perfectly usable. It makes sense TO ME to keep using things that are still ok. But everyone is different and entitled to their own opinion.
She's mad! Yeah the moses basket/cot mattress needs to be new, but the rest of it is fine. I'd even take the carseat as long as you'd had no accidents with it. Nowt wrong with handmedowns. I think you've been very generous. Can I have a friend like you, please??
Someone in my family is like that, she had to have everything new and good quality (despite having no job and no savings) so she got her parents to buy everything for her, including a silvercross pram she only used a handful of times as it was "too heavy." She said she wouldn't be reusing any of the babyclothes for her next one as it's "a bit skanky" and anyway "they wouldn't be fashionable by then"
She ended up giving them all to me despite it being "skanky". She's a loon, lucky me.
I said yes to everything that was offered! I washed everything and got rid of anything that was still "skanky". I could have bought new stuff but what a waste! Small babies use a lot of stuff for only a little while - reuse and recycle. I think you are not supposed to use 2nd hand car seats, though.
When I'm quids in I think the idea is awful....now times are a little harder i think if it's cheap/free I see no problem with 'hardware'!!
You're only not supposed to use second hand car seats in case they've been in an accident. I would never buy one or take one from someone I didn't know, but if I was offered one by a friend I trusted who could vouch for it I wouldn't see the problem.
I was of course lovely of you to offer.
3 dc down the line I regularly buy/accept second hand. Love love it!
But I was just the same as your friend when dd1 was on the way. I learned the hard way in the end. I wouldn't be told either at the time (<--- to myself 10 years ago )
taking out a loan with 200% interest is ridiculous! 2nd hand stuff would not harm her baby, she can always clean it extra thoroughly if it makes her feel better. it wont increase cot death at all!!
i know for the car seats its advised not to get 2nd hand, but the rest of it i dont see an issue @ all. i think she is quite silly to turn it down if she is in financial hardship. if she can easily afford to buy new then it would be different
People are really really stupid when it comes to PFBs.
she is being a tad silly, but as its her first, she'll be being all pfb about it.
dd4 is in a 3rd hand cot (2 sisters in it before her), with new matress and bedding (only because i got rid of the bedding after dd3 as wasnt planning on more)
car seat is new because of the above as well.
clothes are all hand me downs or second hand of ebay or for saleboards/nearly new sales.
theres a health in pregnancy grant as well she will get as its for all pregnent women. thuink its just short of £200
dilemma, doesn't matter if the carseat was used a thousand times, as long as it wasn't in an accident, dropped or damaged in some other way, then it's safe. It's only unsafe to reuse a carseat if it's sustained damage or been in a bump (even if no visible damage)
The reason the guidelines have a blanket rule about not buying one second hand is because you would have to trust the word of a stranger that it had never been in an accident. But obviously this shouldn't be an issue if you get one off a friend. Some people seem to quote the "rules" without knowing why they exist!
fwiw I think you were very generous, don't fel snubbed, it's probably a pfb thing.
As long as there is no mildew on the moses basket, or any of the fabrics on the other items they will be fine, no offence to the OP whom I'm sure stored her items carefully. I only mention it because I loaned a relative a fabric crib and bedding, and when she returned it, it smelled strongly of mould and had black stains on the fabric which wouldn't wash out, obviously stored in a damp place. I'm not sure how you would be able to clean a moses basket itself if it had got damp.
There's no doubt some people just want to get everything new for their PFB, and if you plan on having several children the items pay for themselves, but to get a loan to pay for stuff you can't afford is plain ridiculous. My relatives always handed things down, clothes and large toys, some of the toys are on their third generation!
Not ALL of us having PFBs are stupid! Everything I have for first baby (due in 10 weeks) is second hand, with the exception of the carseat. I think I'm being quite sensible....babies grow out of stuff too quickly. I feel lucky that I've got two friends who each have two boys and are itching to get rid of stuff.
Completely agree with other posters, the only thing I would add is about the car seat - obviously, if it has been in any kind of accident, it shouldn't be used. But also, is there not a "use by" date with them? i.e. you say you haven't used it much, so it is effectively new, but if you have been storing it say, in loft or garage, where it could get very hot, could the plastic be damaged and so not effective?
Just a thought, and I think I've read it somewhere on MN. But it could be bollocks!!
DD (PFB! ) had second hand moses basket, cot, loads of clothes - only things I was insistent on getting brand new were mattresses
my dc would have had nothing if i hyad been snobby about 2nd hand baby things.except a carseat and a matress.poor lambs.
Hi, I was lucky enough to get lots of stuff (moses basket, bedding, clothes, bath seat thing, play mat etc) from my DB and SIL. It has saved us a fortune and I'm very grateful to them. It meant we could afford to buy the pram and carseat we wanted.
Just a quick question (sorry to hijack) - my SIL never used the moses basket as DN wouldn't sleep in it so just went straight into the cot. She has probably been in there for 10 min total if that but the moses basket was just put into the spare room all set up. It was in there for 10 months and is clean and doesn't smell of damp - I have washed all the bedding etc but is it still worth buying a new mattress? Quite happy to do it if it is safer but not sure if I am being a bit 'PFB' as it hasn't really been used IYSWIM.
Everything I have ever got for my daughter is 2nd hand.
We can easily afford brand new things but I CHOOSE to get them second hand.
We have a lovely little baby shop near us that sell just second hand things. I go to charity shops and I use the fabulous FREECYCLE!
I have got the pram, car seat, all the toys, cot (bedding we got as a gift) we painted it white and now it looks brand new. Baby changing table and draws for free, painted it white and it looks great. We got Moses basket. With cot and basket we brought new mattress and that was fine.
People that are just HAVE to BUY NEW all the time are too self concious. Simple. My 10 year old loves going to the charity shops and has always been brought up to appreciate everything. As she is getting older she likes newer clothes but I still pop in their if she needs something for a party or something else.
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