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Oh boy, do I feel guilty !!

(13 Posts)
Easy Wed 11-May-05 09:50:51

As we were getting ready to leave the house this morning, ds said "What day is it". I said Wednesday and he said "I need my library book", but I had to tell him we would be late, he had no time to find it, should have thought about it last night (which I normally do, it just passed me by this once), then I shouted at him for kicking the door in frustration, cos he wouldn't be able to change his library book.

As we drove to the childminders ds said 'm fed up with us having arguments every morning" (which is what I say to him at least once a week!!!).

Then the traffic was lighter than usual today, so I got to work early, even found a parking space straight away (cos I was early), so we would have had time to get his book.

Why do I feel so guilty??

roisin Wed 11-May-05 10:18:03

Oh poor you! Don't feel guilty - morning stress can do it for everybody at times.

I think it's great that he's starting to remember things for himself, that's quite an achievement for his age, and I would certainly encourage that. Can you make him a little list of things to remember:

Every day
- reading book + reading record
- snack for playtime
- packed lunch
- dinner money
- PE kit
- library book

... that sort of thing. Pin it on the wall in the hall, and get him into the habit of checking his bag the night before to make sure he has what he needs?

Btw - with the frustration - ds1 is like this, still doesn't cope very well when things happen to change the plans in his head for the day. Ds2 is much more laidback and accepting.

Freckle Wed 11-May-05 10:46:06

I have a calendar which hangs up on the back of the front door. Everything is written on their and highlighted in a different colour for each member of the family, so DS1's reminders are in orange, DS2's in yellow, etc. So each child can look at the calendar, see what they need to do for that day (or the following one) and get their stuff organised. Then, if they forget something, I can quite justifiably say it was their own fault for not checking the calendar.

Mind you, we do often have someone go to open the front door, spot something they should have done and have huge panics about it. But the next time they remember - hopefully.....

Easy Wed 11-May-05 12:25:28

I know, it IS my responsibility, and what with star charts and swimming certificates, we are running out of space for lists and stuff on the wall!!

Roisin, once again your ds1 and my ds are similar.

Sugarmag Thu 12-May-05 09:59:44

Ha ha ha - join the club. Sorry, I'm really not laughing at you - more at myself really. Sounds like a pretty typical morning to me. Even the guilt. I'm not going to offer any advice on charts or organisation but I will say don't be so hard on yourself.

With the kicking the door thing though - DD(4) has recently started to be a bit agressive when she gets upset - especially at me. She doesn't actually kick anything but swings her foot or arm awfully close to me and just looks for all the world like she would like to hit me. So I'm trying to get her to express herself in words when this happens - like saying "Are you angry at me, is that why you're swinging your leg?" Then if she says yes, ask her why she is angry. Amazingly enough it has actually worked and diffused the situation on several occassions!

Easy Thu 12-May-05 10:15:13

Roisin, how do you deal with ds1's frustration?

flum Thu 12-May-05 10:22:52

You shouldn't will teach him to think about things in advance. would have punished him for kicking the door too!

roisin Thu 12-May-05 14:32:19

Easy - I'll email you!

natts Thu 12-May-05 15:20:54

I have a similar thing every day too. I'm so poo at getting up in the mornings we end up rushing around and my dd gets the brunt of my lack of orginisation bless her. I grab pack lunch stuff almost on the way out of the door. And march the 1 min walk to the school. ( how bad is that). The other week the kids went back to school on tue because of teacher training. I thought it was monday and thought it was a day she was having school dinners, it wasn't untill we where leaving the house that i realised it was a pack lunch day and that it was a school dinner my daughter didn't like. I said we didn't have time and made her have dinner instead of packed lunch. she was so angry with me that she said she wasn't giving me a kiss goodbye. I felt reaally awful.

Easy Fri 13-May-05 10:17:29


I TRY soooo hard to be organised and everything, but it just doesn't come naturally to me.

so we often have that last minute rush anyway. The library book just threw me this week

Easy Fri 13-May-05 17:10:41

Roisin - Just in case you look here

I have sent a reply to your e-mail, but I know my e-mail supplier is having probs today, so it will hopefully reach you over the weekend.

natts Fri 13-May-05 18:10:10

hi again how did it all go this am. I got out of the hussle and bustle today, as i did a night shift at the hospital so it was left up to dh to get the kid's sorted and to get them to my mums(registared childminder) Poor dd didn't end up going to school,as she has rash all over her tummy. bless

roisin Fri 13-May-05 18:36:15

OK I'll look forward to it Easy

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