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23 month age gap?? Anyone got experience of how managable this is??

(49 Posts)
tryingtobemarypoppins Thu 11-Jun-09 08:45:13

Too late now I'm pregnant! But I am keen to know how you got on! smile

TrinityRhino Thu 11-Jun-09 08:47:46

22 month gap here and we survived
I have depression which didn't help at all
also dd2 wasn't sleeping through when dd3 came along
but now they are 4 and 2 and play together
you'll be fine smile

tryingtobemarypoppins Thu 11-Jun-09 09:07:49

ummmmmm! Ah! Sounds tough! It's no walk in the park is it Trinity. Any top tips??

Lizzylou Thu 11-Jun-09 09:13:22

There is almost exactly 24mths between my two boys.
It really was not as tough as I expected, I think I was so dreading it that it could only be better! IYSWIM.
I found I was more relaxed and confident in my abilities with my second and as soon as they are able watching their elder sibling seems to keep the youngest amused.
It is true that the 2nd DC just "fits in".
I made sure that DS1 got to do an activity/some one to one time when DS2 slept and he never really was jealous.
Bathed them together, I would sit BF'ing DS2 whilst DS1 ate his meals.
Online grocery shopping made my life so much easier.
They are the very best of friends of friends and have been all along really, they are now 5 and 3.

Lizzylou Thu 11-Jun-09 09:14:05

Congratulations by the way smile

bohemianbint Thu 11-Jun-09 09:15:16

I have a 24 month gap. I think it would be lovely if either child slept. Sure you'll be fine though!

tryingtobemarypoppins Thu 11-Jun-09 09:15:54

Ah thanks ladies. It makes me feel all emotional to think DS will soon have a little friend, but just totally terrified about getting out and about. Due Feb and I'm sure it snowed last Feb didn't it???

tryingtobemarypoppins Thu 11-Jun-09 09:18:24

I have been super lucky with DS sleeping. Sleeps 7-7 then again 9-12. I bet it will all go out the window soon!
bohemianbint are yours wide awake??

snigger Thu 11-Jun-09 09:19:42

23 months here.

Utter screeching chaos for a while, particularly while breastfeeding and pottytraining, but ultimately the best age gap we could have aimed for (not that we did).

I originally planned to have one, get it off to school, then tidily have another .....

If I could add one note of mild regret - we took loads of baby pics/kept mementoes of dd1, as expected, but with dd2, after the first month, all our energies went into keeping the little bandits clean, fed, and alive. For your own, and their, sake, make sure you carve out some special moments with DC2, particularly as the age gap means you'll be on your toes.

Now, our girls are great friends, but we're aware they gang up and scheme against us. grin

sagacious Thu 11-Jun-09 09:19:59

23 months between my two (both born in winter)

I thought the first year would be a nightmare but dd (the youngest) slept for most of the day (nights being a different matter but hey ho) so ds (the older) didn't feel pushed out and got a lot of attention.

Tis fab now they're older they're best friends and great company

(and congrats)

poopscoop Thu 11-Jun-09 09:24:06

22 month gap here. was not a problem.

tryingtobemarypoppins Thu 11-Jun-09 09:24:36

Ah sagacious one of each is great too. snigger whayt did you do about pushchairs??

bohemianbint Thu 11-Jun-09 09:25:40

Mary - DS1 was (and generally is) a dream baby. (In terms of sleep only!) But DS2 has been a different matter, has still never slept more than 4 hours in 10 months. Wants to feed a million times a night. Then last night they took it in turns to wake up, we got one down and the other would wake, which would then wake the other... But it's not that every night, and it sounds like it will be a lovely age gap when they are old enough to really play together.

I like what snigger says about making sure you carve out time for DC2, it's something I'm really conscious of...

flamingobingo Thu 11-Jun-09 09:27:26

I've got a 20m gap, a 23m gap and a 21m gap.

My advice would be to prepare yourself for it being very, very, very hard work. You will be exhausted for the first couple of years. is so, so, so worth it. You will get your 'rewards' for the hard work when you notice how their close age gap gives them plenty of opportunity to play together.

Read Siblings Without Rivalry by Faber & Mazlish before you have your baby.

Good luck! I promise you the rewards will more than outweigh the exhaustion! smile

madwomanintheattic Thu 11-Jun-09 09:30:54

23 months between the first two. it can't have been that bad as i did it again, although it wasn't much fun when she got the pox and he got double pneumonia 11 weeks after the birth. a low point i'd say... grin
lol at the snow btw - we lived in canada and dc2 was born in january... grin we had to do this 'putting the budgie to sleep' thing every time we needed to make a dash from the house to the car - swathing the car seat in blankets to prevent frozen baby lungs, whilst still being able to maintain a grip on the seat handle... ah, memories.

congrats - it's a pretty standard age gap tbh - military stylee 2 year gap between sprogs.

tryingtobemarypoppins Thu 11-Jun-09 09:36:55

OMG madwomenintheattic i'll stop winging about Britsh snow now! flamingobingo your an expert now! What's the situation with older child walking, needing a pushchair still? My DS just wants to be carried everywhere which worries me, shall I start training him now! bohemianbint were you/are you breastfeeding? I really struggled before and I'm starting to think with 2 children it's going to be very tough feeding myself, will give it a go, but may express and get DH night feeding as well!

bohemianbint Thu 11-Jun-09 10:02:38

Yup, am breastfeeding, which I think makes it easier in terms of getting out and about, and we co-slept which made life easier in the first few months.

madwomanintheattic Thu 11-Jun-09 10:16:58

lol - bfing is far easier. certainly couldn't be doing with the making up formula and sterilising thing - what a total waste of time!
that said, i had to do it with dc3 (20mo gap) as she spent 5 weeks in scbu and was tube fed lol, so i spent my whole life expressing and sterilising... in all honesty i wouldn't consider ff unless you have to - nothing to do with the bf/ff debate, more for convenience! express a bit so that dh can join in lol, but get him to do all the cleaning and sterilising grin
i bought a double buggy and dd1 looked ridiculous in it, so once ds1 was out of the sling, i made her walk. blush

tryingtobemarypoppins Thu 11-Jun-09 10:27:30

Good point about convenienece!
I was thinking pushcahir and sling for NB, then when DS is ready to walk everywhere use pushchair for new baby?? Slings are the way to go I think........Can anyone reccomend a good one??

snigger Thu 11-Jun-09 10:39:08

I did pushchair/baby bjorn, but also we lived in a small rural town and DD1 walked everywhere with me, so she was on reins (god, I'm so pro reins - toddler independence without being run over or getting lost) a lot of the time.

DD2 was a porker, and very quickly, by around 4mths, she was in the buggy and DD2 marched around in her 'straps' as she called them.

There were weary solo jaunts with me helplessly trying to carry DD2, a nappy bag, and complete that intricate balance between baby/pushchair and shopping but it was seldom.

I couldn't do the double buggy thing because our town was possessed of very narrow pavements grin.

Good planning and patience and gin will get you through!

snigger Thu 11-Jun-09 10:41:26

This was years ago, but at that time Baby Bjorn was without doubt one of the better designed slings on the market - if baby falls asleep in it, you can unhook it all and lay them down without having to fish them out and wake them up.

As I say, years ago, it's probably the penny farthing of slings now grin

epithet Thu 11-Jun-09 10:45:31

I had a 21 month gap between my dds. The first couple of months were just an exhausted blur with a soundtrack of screaming and crying, but after that it started to fall into place, and by 3/4 months, I was really enjoying it.

I had a horrendously heavy double buggy - with hindsight, would have used a sling for dd2 up to 6 months, at least. Bf made it much, much easier. I also co-slept with dd2 or I would never have got a wink.

I became fantastic at doing everything with one hand.

Now it is paying dividends - they are 5 & nearly 4, very close, and play together for ages on end smile.

sagacious Thu 11-Jun-09 10:50:58

I had a sling and a maclaren citi lite (Don
't know if they still make them but it was fab)
Pavements to narrow for a double buggy plus ds was only in the stroller for a few months (I did resort to reins .. I know some people don't like them but it saved my sanity)

Pitchounette Thu 11-Jun-09 10:57:52

Message withdrawn

Rollergirl1 Thu 11-Jun-09 12:59:13

24 months between mine and they are now 3 and 1 (both bdays last month). I would say that the first six months were hellish, mainly cos DC2 had bad colic and reflux and so screamed a lot. Also he was still waking 2/3 times during the night for feeds until i put him on solids at 6 months.

My saving grace was DD continuing to go to nursery 2 days a week throughout my maternity leave. This at least gave me a fighting chance, only having one to deal with for 2 days but also gave me a chance to have some one on one time with DS, which he wouldn't have got otherwise.

But I have been incredibly lucky as DD has never been jealous and is very very good with DS. She's like a little mummy around him and is also a great help to me. With each month that passes they become closer and closer and now that DS is 1 and able to do and communicate more, they have a real laugh together. It makes my heart swell seeing them playing together and I can only imagine that it gets better as they get older.

I got the Phil & Ted double buggy. Toyed with not getting one and just getting a buggy board but DS still likes going in the buggy and generally speaking still falls asleep so double was the only option. It is great and don't know what i'd have done without it.

I wish you luck. You may be wondering what the hell you've done for the first few months but it is incredibly rewarding when you seem them interact with each other.

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