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Can someone please come and pat my head and tell me it'll all be alright?

(17 Posts)
GoodGrrrlGoneBad Tue 09-Jun-09 11:00:52

Both my boys are under 3yrs old. The youngest has never slept through, mainly because he goes from one illness to another, to teething and then back again. They are also both very early risers.

I work 28hrs a week aswell as taking care of them (with my DH) and i feel like i'm fighting a losing battle. The house is always dirty, the dog is never walked, DS2 has started having massive tantrums like i've never seen (seemingly caused by nothing).

I'm so sleep deprived that i shout alot of the time. It's my day off work and i've had so little sleep i even asked if the CM could have them today and i'd go to work instead, because i feel so cross with them they'd be better off with her. sad I was disappointed when she couldn't.

I feel like nothing is getting better. All i want is some sleep. DS1 got up 4am yesterday, so i wouldn't let him watch Cbeebies all day (he had been pre warned) Today we should have gone to a cafe for lunch, but he got up too early again and wouldn't stay in bed, so i told him no cafe (again, i did pre warn him)

I know people have it far worse than me, and i'm sorry for winging. I'm on the verge of tears here and i feel like i must be doing it all wrong if i feel like this? My parents live too far away to help, and DH does his fair share.

MatNanPlus Tue 09-Jun-09 11:05:53

There was a thread earlier this week about moving bedtime to around 6.30 and early waking children / babies seemed to be sleeping better and longer?

Why not take your DSs and the dog out for a walk today.

Can you nap when the DSs do?

Nahui Tue 09-Jun-09 11:08:49

Message withdrawn

GoodGrrrlGoneBad Tue 09-Jun-09 11:12:52

there is a gate on the door, but he can open it. there are toys and books in their room too.

We've been for a walk this morning (minus the dog, i can't handle all 3 on my own!) and they are both sleeping now, but in different rooms in the house.

I think i'm going to have to stop the gate being opened and let them cry in the mornings maybe? I've never been in favour of CC myself, but i feel i've exhausted all other avenues and they are too old for this nonsense now.

etchasketch Tue 09-Jun-09 11:13:37

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GoodGrrrlGoneBad Tue 09-Jun-09 11:14:50

not got a blackout blind yet- do they really help? And what's a bunny clock?

Nahui Tue 09-Jun-09 11:18:32

Message withdrawn

funnypeculiar Tue 09-Jun-09 11:19:05

Oh, God, I know this feeling - early waking kills me. You sound like you have so much on your plate atm - cut yourself some slack, superwoman would be going under smile

Right, a few practical thoughts:
1. You need to get some more sleep - everything, but everything feels worse when you're knackered. I'd go to bed really early for a week. Ignore everything else and just get the rest you need.

2. Whilst I can totally understand, I wonder if some of your punishments may be making things harder for you. No TV and cafe = miserable day for both of you.

3.Imho, at under 3, your ds can't help waking up early - it's not a choice to be naughty. And probably isn't really old enough to understand the idea of lying quietly in bed and trying to go back to sleep. I can understand the desire to make them want to suffer (oh boy, I can) but I'm not sure that it'll really help solve the problem.

Have a think about what would make the early waking easier for you ... if he played quietly in his room? If he came into you and read quietly in your bed? Work on whatever will make your life easier, but at some stage you have to be realistic ...I've faced the fact that once the kids are up, they want us - just something we need to deal with. They have learnt they need to play quietly though.

misshardbroom Tue 09-Jun-09 11:20:15

the bunny clock has a sleepy bunny face and floppy ears until it reaches the time set by you, at which point the ears pop up and the bunny's eyes open. It doesn't make a noise so it won't wake a child who is (miracle of miracles) sleeping past the time. However, you can tell your child that if they wake up and bunny is still asleep, they have to stay in their bed until bunny wakes up.

Worked ok for us for a short while until DD figured that if she twisted the little dial on the back, she could manipulate bunny to her own ends.... sad

crumbled Tue 09-Jun-09 11:21:43

black out blinds are good. Also, I agree that heading for the outdoors works wonders when everyone is at each others throats. Even if it feels like too much hassle, get to the park or just go for a walk, let the kids hold the dog lead. You'll all feel better and they might sleep longer too!

I often fall asleep on the bean bag while both mine are watching CBeebies! Dreadful mother, but stopped beating myself up now!

funnypeculiar Tue 09-Jun-09 11:23:08

Oh yes, defn blackout blinds.
Bunny clocks haven't worked for us, or anyone we know (the bunny clocks did the rounds!) but certainly worth a try...

funnypeculiar Tue 09-Jun-09 11:24:00

Oh, and the other thing - mine (both used to be early wakers) have grown out of it on their own - we often have to wake ds up now (SO satisfying grin

GoodGrrrlGoneBad Tue 09-Jun-09 11:32:23

just bought a blackout blind. I looked at the bunny clock, but it had quite mixed reviews.

I just want them to stay in their room until maybe 6am? I could live with that. If they come out they won't be quite in our room, they insist on going downstairs.

I bought some sleeping tablets from the chemists earlier too - for me, not them! It took me 2 hrs to get to sleep last night, then as soon as i did DS2 started his nonsense. I'm hoping it may help me switch off for a few nights so i can recharge my batteries a bit.

DS2 is still in a cot, but i wonder whether he'd actually be better out of it because he can just play in the morning instead of need ing to be lifted out. Or if that would make everything twice as bad.

GoodGrrrlGoneBad Tue 09-Jun-09 12:32:09

thanks for your replies guys. i feel a bit better now i've had a quiet cup of tea and something to eat.

funnypeculiar- i'm glad yours grew out of it. there is hope yet. and yes i regretted saying no cafe- but because i'd said it wouldn't happen, i thought i'd better stick to my guns. they are both still asleep - i'm leaving them to it, they obviously need it.

Blackout blind is on the way. I think maybe i'll find a digital clock for their room. Although DS1 can't tell the time, he can recognise numbers. Maybe if he knows the 1st number on the clock has to be a 6 for him to leave his room?

misshardbroom Tue 09-Jun-09 13:28:38

that's the approach we take with both of our older ones - don't leave your room unless it begins with a 6 (and 7 at weekends!!)

It doesn't always work, but they seem to understand whether they're going to annoy us by coming in, e.g. we have lots of early morning whisperings that start 'Mummeeeee, I'm sorry because it still begins with a 5 but can I get a drink of water...'

sweetens the pill a bit grin

fruitcorner Tue 09-Jun-09 13:45:37

sleep deprivation is a form of torture you know so don't underestimate it and don't be too hard on yourself!
You should be napping now whilst they are asleep - so nap whenever they nap for the next week or so until you feel that you have caught up a bit.
Can you share some more of the care with DH/DP so that you take it in turns to get up
Can you let kids snuggle with you in bed when they wake early -might go back to sleep you never know! or let kids play upstairs when they wake early and not go downstairs at least then you can stay horizontal for a bit longer - I used to put the stairgate on to confine the kids upstairs
I don't think the "punishment" route will work for early mornign waking at this age- they are not doing it deliberately.
You may as well try the bunnyclock it might work - can you buy one on ebay or borrow one from a friend?
They will grow out of it eventually

MatNanPlus Tue 09-Jun-09 16:08:31

The alternative to the bunny clock is here MN have a 10% discount and it is fun, as the stars go out each hour and is meant to be childproof!!!

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