Nannyl, that is tragic, and must be so hard to deal with. The 'what-if' factor must be the worst.
I agree, 3littlefrogs - I've had 1st aid training in the past, but even with that, even knowing what to do, when it didn't immediately come right I found myself reacting with utter panic. Goodness knows how you'd cope say as a young mum with no background whatsoever.
I'm fine now, thanks - if anything DD2 (who has a wicked streak a mile wide) broke the tension a little - after coughing up the 'blockage', she huddled in my lap a while having a bit of a cry, then looked up and said "Can I have a chihuahua now?". Little beast, made us laugh though when we were all a bit shaken.