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Naming ceremony - how do I persuade my DH it's a good idea?

(11 Posts)
lotsofchocs Sat 06-Jun-09 22:24:29

For my dd's 3rd birthday in a month or so I would like to have a joint naming ceremony/party for her and her big brother.

My dh does not agree, he says he can see the point of a christening, but not a naming ceremony, especially as our kids are not babies. I really like the idea of a celebration, and a chance to get thoughful about what raising children means, and appointing some oddparents/guides/whatever you call them. But I don't want to make my dh miserable!

Any advice? Anyone who has had a naming ceremony (especially with older kids) whose dh would recommend it?

Many thanks for reading )

MinnieMummy Sat 06-Jun-09 22:29:36

We had a naming ceremony for DS when he was about 6 weeks old, it was lovely. We got the non-religious godparents to do a reading each, we said a few words together, got everyone there to say 'we name this child X'. It was all pretty informal but worth making the effort IMO.

DD was born on our wedding anniversary so this time we're having a joint first birthday/anniversary/naming party for her. I think we will follow a similar format.

I found this book quite good for ideas for readings etc and it suggested that a lot of people leave it until the child is older so that they can understand/join in and so on. If you search amazon for 'naming ceremonies' it actually has quite a few books. Go for it!

lotsofchocs Sat 06-Jun-09 23:25:06

Thanks MinnieMummy, that sounds great. I just need to work out how to convince my dh that it isn't a strange and inappropriate thing to do

slowreadingprogress Sat 06-Jun-09 23:36:34

I think you might need to accept that he sees no need for it

Personally, 'getting thoughtful about what raising children means' was something intensely personal that DH and I did and do together; absolutely no need for others to be around.

In terms of guides/special adults; well that is something that has developed naturally. DS has developed his own special relationships with his favourite adults and to me, that is worth far more than us 'appointing' people on his behalf. On the legal side of things, we made a will naming guardians for DS in case of both of us dying so we know who will have ultimate responsibility for him in that scenario

so I guess I'm saying I too don't see the need for a ceremony and I can see why it might be pointless to your dh. I mean, I like a good celebration as much as anyone but I still think it's valid not to want to do this stuff publicly.

UniS Sat 06-Jun-09 23:46:13

Don;t call it a naming ceromany if Dh is very anti- he might come round to a "family party", or a "thank you to all our friend/ relatives who suported us thus far party"....
Now if at that party someone- maybe not DH, but a grandparent were to make some toasts...

FWIW we decided not to have boy christened or dedicated, we held a welcome to teh family tea party when he was about 6 months, just like a christening party with out teh church bit. All teh rele's were invited, GPs, GGPs, uncles, great aunts, cousins, cousins children etc.Held it in the village hall. Part way through, DH asked for attention, and basicly said " this is our son, his name is XXXX please welcome him to the family." A toast was drunk to XXXX and on we partied.

plimple Sat 06-Jun-09 23:53:38

Why not just have a christening?
I wanted a christening as it's something our families understand, but we're not religious and DP vetoed it so we had a naming ceremony. The ritual/ceremony was more important to me than worrying about religion or being hypocritical.

plimple Sat 06-Jun-09 23:57:27

All it was, was a party in the garden with a reading (Dr. Suess "the places you will go") and a little speech of why names chosen and a toast with godparents to step forward and make themselves known to all (I know they're not "god" parents, but easier to say and more understandable).
Take pressure off as Uni says.

barnsleybelle Sun 07-Jun-09 00:10:53

We had a naming ceremony for ds on his 2nd birthday. It was nice, but we ended up having him baptised anyway so turned out to be a waste of time really.

flockwallpaper Sun 07-Jun-09 16:47:50

We had a dedication ceremony, as I couldn't see the point of a naming ceremony because it is purely secular, and DH didn't want a christening as he doesn't believe in God and thought it would be hypocritical. The pastor was fine about the majority of us not being Christians, including most of the Oddparents!! and it was a very special day. I'd recommend it.

Also, I know it isn't necessarily the most important consideration, but naming ceremonies were quite expensive where we live (hundreds of pounds, can't remember exactly though), whereas the pastor of our local church did the dedication as part of the sunday service for nothing.

lotsofchocs Sun 07-Jun-09 20:18:01

Thanks everyone, that has really helped me get my thoughts together.

(plimple - my dh doesn't want a christening, as neither of us are religious, he just sees the point of a christening but not a naming ceremony)

I like the idea of a very low key affair, a family party, so perhaps I'll abandon the idea of a naming ceremony with someone paid to lead it, and just sneak in a little speech or something as someone suggested. Perhaps theme the birthday party with a time capsule, and the kids can make something to go in to keep them quiet if there is a bit of talking - or is that a bit off the wall? My dd was named after a special place and my ds named after my late dad so I could mention that. Though I think I might feel silly if it doesn't have the label 'naming ceremony' as they are not babies. And I would like to mention special adults, as I have some people in mind who have been great to my kids, but perhaps that could be a simple thankyou rather than a commitment from them or making them read poems?

Asked my dh today what he thought, so I could get invites out (either birthday party or naming ceremony) and he said he would think about it on wednesday, the first night he isn't playing his computer game! So am feeling a bit less sympatheticangry!

MinnieMummy Sun 07-Jun-09 20:38:20

BTW we didn't pay anyone - I did originally contact the humanist society people to see if someone could officiate (PFB and all that) but no one was available and they kindly pointed out 'you could just do it yourself you know'. So we did!

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