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DS was born this morning and DD (18 months) will be home in a couple of hours. Can I have your top tips for introducing them?

(19 Posts)
norktasticninja Sat 06-Jun-09 14:55:30

We've got DD a nice present but I have no 'plan'...

Picante Sat 06-Jun-09 14:57:26


I have heard that not cuddling baby when the toddler first sees them helps, i.e. put them in moses basket or similar.

Cannot back that up with any evidence tho!

LupusinaLlamasuit Sat 06-Jun-09 14:58:33

Ooooh, congratulations!

Put the baby down before she comes in!

Big cuddles for her first and put the pressie in/next to baby's basket etc..

Expect her to be not remotely interested, but be delighted if she is. Make a MAHOOSIVE fuss of her and talk about what she's been doing...

Finally, get round to asking if she'd like to see/hold the baby

psychomum5 Sat 06-Jun-09 14:59:20

oh congratualtions

my tip was one given to me when I had let DD1 'find her' in the crib.

sadly in never worked, as DH didn;t actually waen me that he was on his way with her, and DD1 herself was ultra silent creeping along the hospital corridor to my room, so she 'found' her in my arms instead.

first words "it's a baby, a holly baby" (name she had called my bump thru the pregnancy), and big grins, followed my leaping on us <<ouch>>.

name stuck, love was instant, and now they conitnue to be stuck to each other like glue ((well, barring the hormonal strops that iswink - they are now teens shock!!))

LupusinaLlamasuit Sat 06-Jun-09 15:01:20

Some kids seem to like the idea that it is 'their' baby too.

But my experience (twice) is that they need to be a bit older before they can really appreciate what is going on so your toddler might just be more bothered about you being OK and wonder what all the fuss is about.

Certainly if people expect her to be interested and want to coo and all, it will doubtless wind her up.

jeminthecity Sat 06-Jun-09 15:02:00


Yes I sort of did the 'oh is that the baby in the corner in a moses basket' type thing too, and also 'oh your new baby has just got you this GREAT PRESENT ta-da type thing'

Although at some pont I had to feed the baby etc, but on initial introduction I tried to play the 'baby' down and fuss over the first-born.
Sorry,I know that's not much, hope it helps

norksinmywaistband Sat 06-Jun-09 15:02:20

DS was in his crib when DD(14m) came home, she ran over, big grin at me then took her dummy out and stuck it in his mouth, very sweet except she was recovering from a tummy bug at the time.
They are still best friends

Congratulations, I think no plan is the best way

isittooearlyforgin Sat 06-Jun-09 15:02:21

congratulations!! refering to the baby as 'yours' or 'ours' can help. having a doll which older sibling can dress, wash, change,feed at the same time as you caring for the baby can help too. saying you need their help to look after the baby, treating it as a joint venture can help.

jeminthecity Sat 06-Jun-09 15:03:44

Agree with others, toddles wasn't interested in baby, they are incredibly egocentric remember!

jeminthecity Sat 06-Jun-09 15:04:51

I meant TODDLER, not toddles, makes out like I have a mutant cat!

mollythetortoise Sat 06-Jun-09 15:06:38

film it if you have a camera. We often look at the footage of dd meeting ds for first time and it still brings a tear to my eye. It was lovely.

LeninGrad Sat 06-Jun-09 15:08:56

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheDevilWearsPenneys Sat 06-Jun-09 15:10:07

Oh, be prepared for DD to suddenly look absolutely enormous, he he.

HumphreyCobbler Sat 06-Jun-09 15:10:18


We gave ds (20 months) Macca Pacca as a present from the baby. It worked well.

Swedes Sat 06-Jun-09 15:15:20


I second/third Picante/Lupus in definitely do not be holding the baby when she first sees you. Ignore the baby as far as possible. I always treated the baby like he was a bit of a pesky nuisance "Shall we just feed this grumpy, hungry baby and then we can get on with our painting/story?" sort of thing.

Whenever there was a clash of needs, I always attended to the toddler's needs first.

Swedes Sat 06-Jun-09 15:16:56

DD and DS3 are also 18 months apart. And I never had any jealousy problems at all. They are both really kind and loving to each other.

PinkTulips Sat 06-Jun-09 15:56:57

with ds1 i was carrying him in the car seat and she met us at the door to the house. she completely blanked me and dived into the seat to give him a kiss with a big grin. once we got inside we just plopped him down in the car seat and made a fuss of her for a while but she was never jealous when i did have to pick him up... no reason to be, if i picked him up she was always able to scramble up to snuggle in next to us so she never felt left out.

with ds2 things were complicated by the fact that i had said 'see you later' on the monday morning on my way into hospital but ds2 was admitted to scbu so i never came hom that day, or the next. dp brouht them to see me on the wednesday and we weren't allowed to bring them in to see him anyway. dd was very upset that she couldn't see him so we bought a teddy bear in the gift shop for them to send into him and that calmed her down a bit. when he came home on the saturday they were both very pleased and relieved as well... both to have me home and to finally meet the long awaited baby... they still call him 'Baby [ds2]' ever since they first met him and ds1 got excited and said 'it's a baby! it's a baby [ds2]!'

dd was 18 months when ds1 was born and ds1 was 2.5 when ds2 was born.

congratulations and don't worry, these things generally work out ok, just be sure not to fuss over the baby at her expenxe and it'll all be fine.

norktasticninja Sat 06-Jun-09 17:07:09

Excellent tips, thanks all grin

I'm so looking forward to seeing my big girl again!

isittooearlyforgin Sat 06-Jun-09 23:06:40

good luck! let us know how it goes

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