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Letting newborn sleep on sofa on a pillow??????

(27 Posts)
suwoo Sat 06-Jun-09 12:22:09

Friends of DH have just had their first baby. The dad commented to DH that he isn't sleeping well at night but seems to sleep well if he is placed on a pillow on the sofa.
When DH told me I was shock.

DH asked him if they stayed with him and what if they fell asleep. "we won't" was the answer hmm.

Anyone who's had a newborn knows how easy it is to drop off without realising it, just from sheer exhaustion.

This is one of the things that contributes most to cot deaths, is it not? DH didn't feel like he should pass comment to them.

Its not just me who thinks they're being stupid is it?

MrsMattie Sat 06-Jun-09 12:23:41

Hmmm, not advisable, no. There are so many safer alternatives, too. A moses, crib, bedside cot or amby. Even sleeping strapped into his bouncer chair would be better. Or proper co-sleeping.

nannyL Sat 06-Jun-09 12:24:08

you are not overreacting

this its very silly

should not have pillows until at least a year

ShortBlack Sat 06-Jun-09 13:16:46

Newborns startle really easily, and it's not hard to imagine a baby startling such that they rolled off.

LovelyTinOfSpam Sat 06-Jun-09 13:28:18

Well I'm going to have to be jumped on.

DD was BF and the most comfy thing for me was to have her on a cushion on the sofa on my lap.

She usually fell asleep after her feed and I would carefully move the cushion next to me so as not to wake her.

I woudn't have done it at night though - she always went in her moses basket then.

LovelyTinOfSpam Sat 06-Jun-09 13:29:38

BTW I have never "dropped off" I find it hard to understand how anyone can.

I leave that to DH who does it regularly!

LupusinaLlamasuit Sat 06-Jun-09 13:30:35

It is one of the things that contributes to cot deaths unfortunately. Being smothered or wedged between cushions is a small but dangerous risk.

I still believe parents should be given good advice about bedsharing as safe bedsharing where everyone could get some sleep would work better than this kind of awful compromise situation.

TheProvincialLady Sat 06-Jun-09 13:36:12

Very dangerous. And people DO fall asleep all the time with a newborn. Who sits up all night watching their newborn sleep?

Lupus I agree with you. If parents knew how to co sleep safely and weren't pressured not to do it, there would be fewer incidents of this kind. I slept on a sofa a few times with DS1 until the MW said it was much safer to just go to bed with him.

foxytocin Sat 06-Jun-09 13:42:43

good idea would be to give them the leaflet on safe bedsharing. they may be caught between being scared of bedsharing and not being able to settle baby in a cot.

[[ here]

if the mother is breastfeeding she may benefit from calling a helpline to discuss anxieties about bed sharing?

foxytocin Sat 06-Jun-09 13:43:03


mollythetortoise Sat 06-Jun-09 15:10:33

i did with both children whilst very small but only in day time naps.. slept on me or in moses basket at night. I have never ever just dropped off in day though and was always in same room.My midwife did tell me off though.

suwoo Sat 06-Jun-09 18:25:54

I dropped off all the time with my two. DS still doesn't sleep through now at 2.5 and I have fallen asleep on his floor quite a few times.

I don't know them well enough to say anything, but may get DH to ask him again in an 'oh so casual' way how its going.

I would normally recommend safe co-sleeping to, however like I said, I don't really know them.

littleducks Sat 06-Jun-09 19:36:46

is this in the day or at night, everyone i have every known has done this occassionally in the day i wouldnt do it a night though, if you watch the baby (WITH my pfb i spent hours gazing at her napping when she was tinyblush, ds did get put into cot/moses basket tpo sleep as he was protected from the toddler and i did not have time to gaze lovingly at his dreaming face grin)

Doobydoo Sat 06-Jun-09 19:48:57

Ds1 would be on pillow on sofa in day time sometimes.
When I was a nurse a mum brought in her baby who she had breastfed on sofa and then fallen asleep.At 1st they thought she had smothered him but it transpired it was a cot death.I used to co sleep with ds1 too.There are many variations and if the parent feels comfortable with it I suppose it is up to

alicecrail Sat 06-Jun-09 19:54:34

When DD was about 4 days old and wouldn't settle at all one night i had her snuggled onto my chest so she would sleep and then DH could sleep. I fell asleep and woke up in a massive panic because even though i was sitting up in bed, i had slumped and DD had ended up under the quilt. I was almost hysterical, although very luckily she was fine, but i always made sure that i was somewhere uncomfortable when i was getting her to sleep after that as it scared the life out of me.

FlyMeToDunoon Sat 06-Jun-09 19:55:16

Did this but did not leave the baby alone. Would finish feeding and transfer pillow across, then sit and read my book or summat. Might nip out to kitchen to get a snack!

suwoo Sat 06-Jun-09 20:01:13

This is at night. Maybe, he is sure he won't fall asleep- I couldn't guarantee that now blush

lou031205 Sat 06-Jun-09 21:10:56

DD2 was suddenly a terrible sleeper and wanted to sleep in between DH and I at about 4 months old. I put her on a firm pillow, on top of our duvet, for a few weeks until we could get a bedside cot. IMO, that was safer than having her lower down. Now I am glad that I have a bedside cot for DD3, because we can co-sleep without concern.

Gemzooks Sat 06-Jun-09 21:54:27

my DD fell off the sofa onto a hard floor at 8 weeks, she was ok but I felt so, so terrible, I thought she was injured. She was on a pillow. only left her for a minute. so tell them not to do it! moses basket on couch if needs must.

suwoo Sat 06-Jun-09 21:56:11

shock at gemzooks I bet you felt awful- poor you. Both mine have fallen off the bed, but have been at the rolling age.

I think they are crazy but hey ho.

hellymelly Sat 06-Jun-09 21:58:22

I was the same as lovelytinofspam,both mine would drop off on a pillow breastfeeding and then I would slide the pillow next to me on the sofa while I read or watched the tv.Not at night time though,just in the evenings.At night they were (and still are!) in our bed.I wouldn't have left them unattended btw.

Gemzooks Sat 06-Jun-09 22:03:39

the prob is it's so easy to get up just briefly, then they can fall off. I felt physically sick when I heard the 'crack' that she'd fallen, and so stupid of me to have put her there.. especially as I read that the worst kind of falls for babies are short distances onto a hard surface.. with my PFB he was 8 months before he rolled off a bed, poor DD is the victim of us being too casual 2nd time round..

Pheebe Sun 07-Jun-09 09:03:20

Had a similar problem with DS1 in that he wouldn't slep anyhere except me or a feather pillow.

In the end the feather pillow went in his moses basket and he slept in that at night. Even newborns are surprisingly mobile so no we would never have left him on the sofa at night, nap time with us in the room yes, but not at night. Only lasted a couple of weeks though and we invested in a lambs skin on which he slept beautifully in his crib and then in his cot. Didn't give it up till he was 2 smile.

Perhaps you could suggest that or better yet give them one as a gift. IIRC John Lewis do one for ~25 quid.

littleducks Tue 09-Jun-09 09:57:52

suddenly remembered the sensible answer to this at 6am (too much mn i think)

put moses basket mattress on lap, settle baby as on pillow then place sleeping baby on mattress in basket instead of placing pillow on sofa

fishie Tue 09-Jun-09 10:04:21

littleducks i think one would have to be about 3metres tall for that to work, or a very shallow moses basket.

pillow on a sofa at night is very dangerous.
agree with foxy, bedsharing is the way to go.

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