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when you are meant to be working and they are ill..........................

(10 Posts)
wickerman Wed 03-Jun-09 12:56:08

What do you do?

Do you fling yourself wholeheartedly into the role of nursemaid and companion, or do you try surlily to work around this?

My youngest dd has been off A LOT this year, and although I don't believe in forcing them to go in when they are unwell, I have got very behind with work. The work I do (writing) is not possible to do at the same time as looking after a sick kid - I need to focus, bigtime, so I tend to just send emails in a surly manner, and plan meetings, and stuff like that.

But I feel (Sigh) that I am a) not giving my daughter due attention and b) not giving my work due attention.

THe other slightly more selfish thing is that I normally exercise during the day when the dds are at school - and I just can't, can't, can't, bring myself to put on my Ministry of Sound DVD when she is at home, and leap around. It feels plain wrong, but if she's off for two weeks, that's me larded up. What do others do?

Oh - I am a lone parent atm, my dh comes back at weekends to hang with the kids but we are separated atm.

wickerman Wed 03-Jun-09 15:09:22

bumpa bumpa BUMP_AH.

wickerman Fri 05-Jun-09 09:02:05

really? no one else has this problem? You must, surely. Pleads in unappealing needy manner.

HaventSleptForAYear Fri 05-Jun-09 09:20:52

Telly.

Or story tapes if you want a change.

And then I go to my office the other end of the house and bring in drinks occasionally.

Would be hard to get serious writing done though I think. I can manage a bit of admin or marking or phone calls (sometimes).

Can you do the exercise once she's in bed?

titchy Fri 05-Jun-09 09:28:42

Well forget about the exercise stuff for a start! You can do that in the evenings, or with headphones or at the weekend. Priority is work and wellbeing of dc.

Why is your dd off such a lot? If it's a long term thing then you need to rethink your scheduling. If it's just the usual coughs visuses etc (and the fact that you mention her being off for two weeks makes me thinkg that there is an underlying problem - most children wouldn't be off more than 2 or 3 days at a time for routine illnesses).

I work at home when dc are off school. They flop in front of the tv wrapped up in blankets, with their favourite teddies, jiuce/water/snacks/fruit on the table in front of them and tbh if they are genuinely ill that's all they need. If they have the energy to complain they have the energy to go to school! (And I have been known when I have an important meeting to go to to send them in dosed up with Calpol, rush into work, go to meeting, then get stuff together to work from home in anticipation of THE PHONECALL blush).

Welcome to the life of the working, childcare-less parent!

wickerman Fri 05-Jun-09 11:35:10

I've been in that life for 10 years now, and it's not getting easier, it's getting harder as I get more into work again.

She has an immune disorder, which means she gets laid very low by viruses. I can't schedule differently as I am freelance.
Yeah, I just can't concentrate on my work when she's around. It's hard. I'm thinking of getting the shed renovated so I can run away and then just pop back with ribena and read stories every 3 hours.

And because she is off such a lot, if I forget the exercise stuff, I will become fat and depressed. My other dd doesn't go to bed till 10 so I can't do it in the evenings.

Tricky huh?

acebaby Fri 05-Jun-09 14:59:13

You have my sympathy. DS1 and 2 don't have health issues, but are young so pick up everything. I also do a lot of writing for my work and know how focused you have to be.

My solution is to work everyday between 5am and 7am. Starting the day already having got something done makes me much less stressed and grumpy. I find that doing the extra hours when the DS's are well makes up for when they are ill. Even then, I can use the 2 hours to do urgent tasks.

No suggestions about your exercise dvds though unless DD1 is old enough to babysit DD2 while you go out to a class in the evenings? If not, perhaps you could get a neighbour to come in and babysit for an hour or two to let you get out.

hope things work out. Maybe the summer will be a little easier!

mulranno Fri 05-Jun-09 15:47:03

I have been thru the same thing recently...it has all gone pear shaped and I have lost the contract I was working on. I have 4 children, also work writing so need to concentrate. I the past I have had a nanny which has worked well. Recently my young mum (63) was looking after so when they bwere ill she could help. However she died of cancer recently and I now have no contingency. When they are ill I work from home... before Easter I had 2 weeks when 2 of them had V&D...the last 4 weeks has seen each of them (x4) go down with Chiken pox one after another...they were vv ill and I could not work...so I ahve lost my contract...and have no work....I will not look for work before sept as I would like to spend the summer with them...last summer i was at hosp with my mum 24/7. But I will get a nanny from Sept even though 3 are at school..and I will look at it as an investment in my business...might do on annualised hours...so she picks up school holidays etc..ALSO read some where of someone getting a cravan to work in the garden....much cheaper than those expensive sheds...you can sell it on... and use for holidays...children to play in or even overnight guests!

cat64 Fri 05-Jun-09 15:55:06

Message withdrawn

applepudding Fri 05-Jun-09 19:06:32

DS has been off school sick today and apart from about 45 mins whilst I played some board games with him, he has spent the day wrapped in a blanket on the sofa in front of the TV whilst I was on the computer upstairs (work computer in a separate room upstairs, laptop for social stuff downstairs!)

However, I appreciate that for me, this is a one-off and it must be so much harder for you on a regular basis, especially over a 10 year period.

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