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Help, can't cope with DS

(8 Posts)
Roseability Tue 02-Jun-09 21:02:04

I am 38 weeks and 5 days pregnant. The combination of this, the heat and my DS (3.2) recent downturn in behaviour means our household is resembling something from a super nanny episode.

I used to be quite smug because my DS was angelic and well behaved. Of course I still adore him but the change in his behaviour has been quite dramatic. Everything is a battle and he has started screaming at the top of his voice when he is upset. I have tried so hard to be patient. We have tried distraction strategies e.g. timing him getting dressed and rewarding him if he does it quickly and without a battle.

However I am struggling. I am too hot, have back ache and my hormones are making me teary and short tempered. I have ended up screaming at him and being physically agressive on a couple of occasions sad

Please tell me some of you have experienced this and got through it. Is he just aware of the imminent change in his life? Is it the heat? Is it just his age? Will it get better when baby arrives?

I have been so excited about this baby and generally I have had a good pregnancy but tonight, after another screaming match beacuse my DS refused to go to bed, I am beginning to feel a bit down. I am beginning to wander if it is worth it

HeinzSight Tue 02-Jun-09 21:06:34

Aw Roseability, of course it's going to be worth it. You are VERY heavily pregnant and your DS may be a little unsettled about the prospect of the new baby. It may be worth spending some extra time with him chatting about babies etc. Maybe take a trip to the library and get some toddler friendly 'new baby' books.

Maybe tell him the baby will have a gift for him when he/she arrives.

fucksticks Tue 02-Jun-09 21:18:26

i remember ds1 was at his worst just before ds2 was born. it was hell.
i'm sure they can sense something big is about to happen
things will get easier, honest

Roseability Wed 03-Jun-09 09:20:05

please tell me somebody else has experienced this. I am very low today sad

Any advice? Is it easier with a newboen and toddler than being this pregnant with toddler. It is hellish

cory Wed 03-Jun-09 09:30:52

Had more or less the same age difference, and found it very hard work too.

The first few months after the birth were heavy going, I'm afraid, as dd was unsettled and jealous and could potentially have done a lot of damage to little brother. But at least I wasn't pregnant.

After that, it got a lot easier, and after the first year or so it really started to pay off: they could entertain each other and comfort each other and understand each other in a way that adults simply can't do.

One thing that helped was buying dd a present from the baby: we got her a pop-up tent so she could have a space of her own to disappear into. We also helped her to buy him a (smaller and much less spectacular present).

booksgalore Wed 03-Jun-09 13:23:43

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Roseability Wed 03-Jun-09 15:04:22

Booksgalore - thanks so much and some great tips. I have found on a couple of occasions I have just ended up screaming back at him and last night after more bedtime battles I threw a book down in a temper, which set him off screaming blush. I did actually walk away at that point and took some deep breaths as I felt like I could really lose it and smack him (I don't believe in smacking as I lost control and did it once and I was crippled with guilt)

I am not normally so volatile and can only put it down to hormones and late pregnancy. Needless to say, when I react like this, it doesn't actually improve matters!

Today I have been determined to be calmer and spend quality time with him. We went to his favourite playpark and shared a cake at a cafe. I don't want to go into this birth with such stress hanging over us. We have had a better day. I have tried timing him getting dressed and into his carseat etc. It is like a game, lets see how quick you can do it sort of thing. So far it has worked. Next time he screams I will take your tips.

I really appreciate this is a tough time for him as well and he senses that I am not as focused on him. He is definately more clingy and needs to be around me more. Problem is I need more space at the moment! He is currently at a friend's house, so I am getting a much needed break.

booksgalore Wed 03-Jun-09 15:41:23

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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