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do you teach chivalrous manners in your boys?

(20 Posts)
brimfull Tue 02-Jun-09 13:51:34

do you teach your ds to stand when a woman enters the room?
etc etc

I remember my father reminding my dbs to mind their manners when it came to women. They learned by copying him.

Is chivalry dead?

southeastastra Tue 02-Jun-09 13:53:45

dear lord no, should i? <snigger>

Overmydeadbody Tue 02-Jun-09 13:54:15

I would not teach my DS anything that I wouldn't be just as willing to apply to any DDs if I had them, if that's what you mean?

I want my DS to mind his manners whoever it comes to, whether it's a woman or man, child or elderly person, rich man or tramp.

doggiesayswoof Tue 02-Jun-09 13:55:28

Oh my god, no

I (hope I) teach my dc to be polite and considerate to everyone in equal measure

WTF is chivalry anyway? Makes me think of Chaucer or that daft film with Heath Ledger and Paul Bettany

Overmydeadbody Tue 02-Jun-09 13:55:35

I don't teach my DS to stand when anyone enters a room <<shudder>>

Tamarto Tue 02-Jun-09 13:55:35

No. I teach all my children to use manners and be polite.

I'd expect DD or the Dss to hold a door open for anyone coming behind them regardless of their sex.

I'd wonder WTF someone was doing if they stood when i walked in the room.

madwomanintheattic Tue 02-Jun-09 13:56:13

what ombd said grin
i have two dds and a ds, and they all hold doors open for people lol.

TwoIfBySea Tue 02-Jun-09 13:56:51

Well I teach my dts manners but not to stand when a woman enters a room. Equality and all that, we don't stand up for them and fair is fair.

Instead my dts hold doors open for people (and this is also encouraged at their school), say please and thank you (when they remember!) Don't grab (personal pet hate of mine.) And so on.

It doesn't mean they won't throw a tantrum now and again but they know what is right and wrong. There are some really rude and obnoxious children out there and no way did I want my two to act like that.

Galava Tue 02-Jun-09 13:59:26

The boys at my DS's school have to stand when a visitor enters the classroom. The 16 year olds dont do it with the same gusto that the 8 year old do !!

And they have to stand holding the door to let an adult pass through.

I think its quite sweet actually ...

BonsoirAnna Tue 02-Jun-09 14:01:01

I have noticed that the Italian mothers at DD's school are very careful about teaching their sons to be chivalrous. Even very little boys (3 and 4) are told to let girls go first, at parties etc.

Overmydeadbody Tue 02-Jun-09 14:04:56

Galava when I was at school (private) we had to always stand if an adult entered the classroom, and when we went into classrooms we had to stand at the desks until the teacher said "be seated now girls" or somesuch.

There's a time and a place for tha kind of behaviour, classrooms ok, everyday life not.

peppapighastakenovermylife Tue 02-Jun-09 14:08:01

My 2.10 year old DS loves opening doors / gates etc for people. I will teach (continue to) both DS and DD (8 months) manners.

However I think I will teach DS a little bit of chivalry but in a nice, not condescending way. I personally like a little bit of chivalry such as a man offering me a coat if its cold - although nothing ridiculous and most of the time I just like to be offered - I wont accept. I would teach him it is nice to offer - but not that he has to offer because women are somehow inferior. Does that make any sense?! I dont think it does grin

brimfull Tue 02-Jun-09 14:08:13

I don't see anything wrong with ladies first..but I do think this standing up when a woman enters the room is quite annoying at times .

My dad and brothers all do this naturally ,seems ingrained in them but my dad over does it at times and comes across as a tosser...arf.

brimfull Tue 02-Jun-09 14:09:18

peppa-yes I agree

southeastastra Tue 02-Jun-09 14:13:16

were your brothers always getting up and down when you entered the room ggirl? grin

brimfull Tue 02-Jun-09 14:15:25

yes I'd pop in and out endlessly to exhasut them wink

no really only in situations like guests arriving or somehting like that

southeastastra Tue 02-Jun-09 14:19:06


Galava Tue 02-Jun-09 14:23:02

He's at a private school OMDB, and they have to wait until the teacher says its OK to sit down too.

Just wish my requests were treated in the same manner at home ...

OrmIrian Tue 02-Jun-09 14:24:35

No. I do teach them good manners and consideration. Regardless of what sex the other person is.

nickschick Tue 02-Jun-09 14:25:32

My ds2 has recently had an exclusion from schoolsad (for fighting) we had a meeting with the head who told us 'your boys are quite an enigma in school- they are the most polite well mannered boys they hold doors open for staff,wont let a female teacher carry a heavy bag,will always run errands - yet they really have no 'messing' they dont lie and are entirely honest but they will not take any nonsense,they dont argue they dont insult other children or anything but they hit back'.

I was quite pleased at the manners part hmm not so sure about the rest......

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