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Why are some parents so rude?

(10 Posts)
decena Tue 02-Jun-09 10:53:44

I can't get over what happened on Sat. My DD had 2 friends round to play, one of whom we regularly have round, we have taken her skating, to the pictures etc, for tea etc. Never once in a year has my DD got invited back but I accepted this as her parents work full time and not all parents like having kids to their house. They always seemed happy for their DD to play with mine.
The 3 girls played well on Sat then the other mums came to pick them up. Whilst we were chatting, this girls mum asked the other mum if her daughter could come to play next week, in front of me and my daughter.
I was flabbergasted. I don't know if she was being blatantly rude or just insensitive but when I told OH, he was furious and said we were never having that girl round again and I agree.
If she was making a point, then surely she could have just made excuses when I asked her DD to play? Her DD is a bit of a madam and tends to boss other girls around so I am not actually bothered if she doesn't play anymore but I still can't get over her rudeness!
Do you find other parents like this or maybe I am being too sensitive?

Stumblebum Tue 02-Jun-09 10:56:11

I would be really mad as well - that IS really rude.

Is she one of the type of mother's who use inviting children's friends round as an excuse for networking?

Did the other mum seem uncomfortable?

decena Tue 02-Jun-09 11:01:54

Glad you agree! No, if anything this other mum is quite unsociable - she phrased it that it was her daughter that was asking the other girl round to play ie my daughter X has asked if Y can come play next weekend., which is the girls perogative but to do it in front of us!! Arghh, thankfully it pretty much went over my daughters head otherwise she would probably have been very upset. The other mum chatted away about it!

Lizzylou Tue 02-Jun-09 11:02:58

I think that that is very rude and totally agree with your DH.
No more free babysitting for her at your house now!

Stumblebum Tue 02-Jun-09 11:05:31

I agree - don't be used as free babysitters. If your DD is very good friends with this other little girl then you need to rise above it for your DD's sake, and still invite her. If your DD is not that bothered then stick with her friends whose parents reciprocate.

It i s the sort of thing I would stew on and fume about though! grin

TsarChasm Tue 02-Jun-09 11:09:15

shock Unbelievable! I wouldn't have her back again and I wouldn't be too careful about the reason why finding its way back to her either.

Scrumplet Tue 02-Jun-09 11:10:30

You're not being insensitive. It's rude on two levels. Firstly, she's never reciprocated with a playdate - so you could reasonably assume she just doesn't do playdates. Secondly, she clearly does do playdates, just not with your DD, and had zero subtlty in letting you know.

I would be angry too, and a bit hurt. But I would only stop having this girl over if your daughter's happy with this idea, otherwise, if she's a valued friend of your DD, you'll be punishing your DD by not having her over anymore. If she is a good friend of your DD, you could be the better person and continue to have the girl over (assuming she's well-enough behaved and grateful for all the activities you do with her), in spite of her mum's rudeness. What does your DD think? How old is she?

Wizzska Tue 02-Jun-09 13:45:44

It sounds very rude to me. My curiosity would get the better of me, I'd have to ask her what she thinks she's up to. I'd probably take her aside and ask if she has a problem with my DD's behaviour as she's never invited her over and then see what she said. I'd probably add that I'd noticed that she'd invited the other girl over and that I thought the 3 girls play very nicely together. A bit passive/aggressive I know but then at least you'd know what its all about. You've obviously got to judge the situation depending on how much you think your DD might lose out if she's really close to this girl.

decena Tue 02-Jun-09 17:57:43

My DD is not particularly close to this girl but it is a small class so all the girls play together.
I would love to say something to the mum but if she was that rude/unthinking on Sat, I doubt she will appreciate anything I say to her, however polite I try to be! This girl, I suspect will be the queen bee of the class and do not want to cause problems for my shy DD so I will just not invite her round anymore, if they wonder why not then surely they will realise. I know my DD is always well behaved and would never say boo to a goose so behaviour is not a problem. I think the other family is just rude and rather uncaring.

poshsinglemum Wed 03-Jun-09 16:32:05

Yuck- she sounds horrid. I hate all of this clique nonsense.

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