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Step parent adoption - does anyone know anything about it?

(8 Posts)
Pinkfluffyslippers Mon 01-Jun-09 20:43:53

My DD is 5 and her natural father breezes in and out of her life as he suits. He pays her school fees, will see her for 5 minutes each day at school, but then will have no contact during the holidays. For example this past week he didn't contact her on her birthday - (the 4th time this happened). As her mum I find this v annoying/ upsetting.

My DH (of two years) has offered to adopt DD so she has some consistency in her life. Has anyone ever gone through step parent adoption? What happens? How protracted is the process? How intrusive are the social workers?

I could go on at length but I'm trying to keep this brief.

All information gratefully received.....
Thanks

Wilts Mon 01-Jun-09 20:55:12

We are currently at the very early stages of a step parent adoption.

The difference is in our case is that Ds has not seen his biological for over seven years, which should go in our favour.

We are fairly certain in our case that Ds' father will contest the adoption, but are hoping the court will overrule it, because of the lack of contact/no child support etc.

We have been allocated a social worker who has been out for a visit and asked why we wanted the adoption etc, inspected Ds' bedroom and asked about finances. We have signed the paperwork to consent to an initial assessment, in which they will speak to the school etc.

We are expecting the whole process to take about six months.

I would think it would be trickier in your case as your ex does see your child/pay for schooling, even if it is not as consistently as you would like.

Is your ex likely to consent to an adoption? Has your Dh considered applying for parental responsibility as another option?

Sorry It's a bit of a messy post I am watching corrie and trying to type, not very successfully

Pinkfluffyslippers Tue 02-Jun-09 07:51:30

WIlts - thanks so much for you reply. Really really helpful.
I hadn't thought about DH applying for parental responsibility. That could be worth considering.

Good luck with your situation.

Thanks again.
PFS

piscesmoon Tue 02-Jun-09 08:07:06

I would ask a solicitor in the first place to get some advice or the CAB. It may have changed but, when I thought about it, I was told that as well as DH I also had to adopt my own DS! I wasn't prepared to do it. It also seemed that DH had to be legally the step father's surname and I wanted him to keep his natural father's name. I didn't really go into it very seriously-I think it worth getting proper advice.

Wilts Tue 02-Jun-09 08:13:55

Piscesmoon- The law has changed now so that the biological mother does not have to adopt as well.

Also regarding the name, you can choose what name your child takes, so in our case Ds is old enough to make his own mind up and has asked for a double barrelled surname (his plus ours).

It is worth giving your local social services a ring, while I appreciate all the bad press around SS (am also a student social worker)
when I rang ours they were really helpful on the phone. They sent out an information pack with all the information regarding adoption and its alternatives.

piscesmoon Tue 02-Jun-09 08:52:05

Thanks Wilts-I had a feeling that it might. My DS is now over 18 yrs so it isn't relevant. Parental responsibility seems a good option. I was just appalled that I would have to adopt my own son and that social workers would decide whether I was a fit mother! I never went any further with it.

LeninGrad Tue 02-Jun-09 16:13:36

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LeninGrad Tue 02-Jun-09 16:21:18

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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