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Is it selfish of me to keep my daughters hair long ??

(53 Posts)
mummyloveslucy Sun 31-May-09 19:15:32

Hi, my 4 year old daughter has nearly waist lenth wavy aubern hair, which she is regularly complimented on.
It's just that it gets so notted. Every morning it is a nightmare to brush, it really hurts her, and she screams and crys. It feel sas if I'm torturing her every time. sad I've tried the tangle teazer, salon strenth little sprout conditioner for problem hair. Nothing seems to work. I know it would be better for my daughter if it was a lot shorter, but my husband and MIL tell me not to as it looks so nice. Surely my daughter not being in pain every time it's brushed is more important?
I know it does look lovely, but I feel as if I'm not doing what's in my daughters best interests.
Should I have it cut, what do you think?

blametheparents Sun 31-May-09 19:17:29

Maybe have it is a loose plait at bedtime?

Otherwise since it is so long it could easil be cut to midway down her back while still looking lovely.

RosemaryBingle Sun 31-May-09 19:17:43

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sharkyandgeorge Sun 31-May-09 19:17:58

Have you asked her if she would like her hair cut?

OrmIrian Sun 31-May-09 19:18:11

I would have it trimmed personally. At 4 she doesn't care that much. And it will grow quickly enough when/if she does want it longer. Those who suffer the pain and hassle get to choose the hair cut.

wrinklytum Sun 31-May-09 19:19:04

What does dd make of it,does she want it cut?

FWIW dd has longish hair that tangles easily and is a blardy nightmare to brush as she hates it being messedwith.Not so bad with the tangle teaser thing but I still need to condition it every night.Hers is shoulder length

belgo Sun 31-May-09 19:20:58

I faced this dilemma recently. With both dd1 aged five, and dd2 aged three. In particular dd2 refused to let me wash or brush her hair, but had incredibly angelic blond spiral curls. So pretty she was often noticed in the street and strangers would comment on her hair.

We were staying at my parents' house and I washed her hair. She had such a huge tantrum my mum got very upset and demanded I had it cut. I took both girls to the hairdressers the following week, and both girls have now got very short, very practical hair. And they both still look beautifulsmile. It is actually a huge relief for me not to have to worry about brushing and washing their hair anymore, in particular as nits are going around their school, at least with short hair we will be able to deal with nits if they do catch them.

Get it cut!

LyraSilvertongue Sun 31-May-09 19:22:13

I agree with blametheparents. A loose plait would stop it getting tangled in the first place. Problem solved.

19fran76 Sun 31-May-09 19:22:39

What does your daughter want to do with her hair? If she wants it cut then then it would be sensible & fair to organise that for her given what you've said about her discomfort. I think that it sounds like the kind of length that could be an impractical burden to most little girls/ grown women/ or men for that matter wink

MarthaFarquhar Sun 31-May-09 19:25:38

if you cut it to just an inch or two below her shoulders, it will still look "long", IYSWIM. And will be less tangly.

LyraSilvertongue Sun 31-May-09 19:25:55

DS2 (4) had beautiful long corkscrew curls that were commented on by everyone and I loved them. He looked so cool and handsome.
But he wanted his hair very short, like his big brother and I said no.
So he got the scissors when I wasn't looking and cut big chunks out of the front. He looked so ridiculous that I had to cut the lot off.

traceybath Sun 31-May-09 19:28:55

I'd definitely get it cut to just below the shoulders so its still long but not too long.

I must confess i'm not a fan of really long hair anyway.

mummyloveslucy Sun 31-May-09 19:29:30

Thanks everyone, smile I don't think she really cares about the lenth of her hair. She used to ask for it cut like her friends (in a bob) but I said no. wink
I think just below sholders would be a lot better. She has it trimmed every 6-8 weeks at the moment to keep it neet.
I do platt it for bed and that does help.

TsarChasm Sun 31-May-09 19:30:15

Before you make any big decisions have you tried a Tangle Teezer? I thought it was going to be another expensive brush and no good, but my goodness what a difference it's made to our terrible tangle hell. Especially when the hair it wet.

TsarChasm Sun 31-May-09 19:31:55

Oh I see you have. That'll teach me to read more carefully sad Oh dear, then maybe you do need to think about a shorter length.

mummyloveslucy Sun 31-May-09 19:32:38

I'm not sure I am either any more traceybath. wink grin

She is a fun loving, out door girl. I don't want her looking like a china doll.

mummyloveslucy Sun 31-May-09 19:36:01

The tangle teezer does help a bit, but the brissels arn't long enouth to get through her hair as it's quite thick.
A shorter lenth, tangle teezer and industrial strength conditioner, that should do it. grin

mummyloveslucy Sun 31-May-09 19:39:34

She also has a fringe that is growing out. It is now about sholder length. It would become all one lenth a lot quicker.

LadyPinkofPinkerton Sun 31-May-09 19:44:12

Maybe she needs a few inches off to make sure its all helathy hair. If it is getting tangled that much it maybe needs a good cut

mummyloveslucy Sun 31-May-09 19:49:22

She has it trimmed every 8 weeks, and it looks healthy. I think sun block dosn't help. She's always getting food in it too.
If I have to keep it tied back all the time, there's not much point having it so long.

slowreadingprogress Sun 31-May-09 19:56:48

I wish more people would have girls hair shorter. It looks so lovely. often long hair actually just hangs there and does nothing to flatter a face. A bob is just gorgeous on a 4 year old IMO and I saw a little girl recently with a pixie crop and it was just perfect on her.

go for it mll. as you say there is no point in having all that hair just tied back and hurting like hell every day.

go on, go for a bob!

seeker Sun 31-May-09 20:00:31

If it's at all a pain for her then get it cut unless she is begging for it to be long. My dd has really long red hair - she wanted it long from as soon as she was old enough to express a preference. Every time we had a problem with nits or tangles I offered to get it cut and she always said no very definitely. She is now 13 and still has long hair. I always plaited it tightly at night and kept it tied back for sport or any activity.

I think that you should listen to her. My ds had really long hair which I LOVED - but as soon as he asked for it to be short I let him. It is their hair, after all!

mummyloveslucy Sun 31-May-09 20:08:19

She enjoys going to the hair dressers, and has never said she want long hair. I don't think she cares at all.
If we took her to the childrens salon where they make a fuss of her, and bought her some new hair clips then told her she looked like Lola, she'd be more than happy. smile

expatinscotland Sun 31-May-09 20:09:33

I'd ask her what she wants.

DD1 has thick, nearly waist length chesnut hair. DD2's is as long, but finer.

I put Schwartzkopf kiddie leave in detanlger on it whilst they are still in the bath, then more after towel-drying their hair, then brush with Tangle Tamer and it works.

BUT, they don't want to cut their hair.

I plait it loosely at night and they were a pontytail with a plait or plaited bunches for nursery.

They get a trim every 6-8 weeks.

SparklyGothKat Sun 31-May-09 20:15:59

My girls had long hair, but we decided to get it cut when I couldn't get rid of the nits... My Dd1 has a bob and Dd2 has a pixie cut

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