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How to handle neighboiurs children

(7 Posts)
grouchyoscar Sun 31-May-09 13:40:31

Here comes summer, here comes chaos

DS is 5 and an only child. We live on an enclosed yard. Next door's have 4 DCs U8 and an olders sibling of 15 who does the brunt of the childcare. basically DS is being bullied by next doors brood, upsetting him, treating him badly and getting pleasure from his distress.

How do I handle this well? I don't want to get PFB about stuff but all the kid wants to do is play out. As soon as he steps out something happens

Thanks

TheProvincialLady Sun 31-May-09 13:42:22

Sorry to be thick but do you mean you share a garden/yard with these neighbours?

grouchyoscar Sun 31-May-09 13:49:13

Yard behind a row of terraces

meemar Sun 31-May-09 13:50:32

I think if the children aren't being minded by a responsible adult you are perfectly within your rights to go and have a word with them. I don't mean go in guns blazing, but just a calm but authoritative tone from an adult.

They will probably respond fairly well as they are quite young. They just need some behaviour boundaries laid down and a teenager is not going to give it to them.

Ripeberry Sun 31-May-09 13:59:45

Sounds like our area. A couple of famillies down the road have 12 children between them and they are aged between 8yrs old and 17yrs old and at the moment they think they rule the whole street.
The older children have mopeds and hang around until late at night racing up and down and during the day the younger kids basically stop other children playing outside or going down to the next street.
My DD has not used her bicyle for ages as they keep wanting to borrow it and they won't let her past.
I've had a word with the parent quite a few times but it comes to nothing as she has no control over them , both famillies have no resident fathers.
I have to time carefully when i leave the estate so i don't haqve a run in with them as they do like to block the road.
Problem is, everyone is too scared to sort them out.
I would like to, but i'll end up in jail {sad] just for daring to tell them off.

scattyspice Sun 31-May-09 16:24:36

Hmm, difficult situation. Friends of mine have a similar problem and end up either going to the park instead of playing out in the lane or she sits on the back step and watches if her ds plays out. Neither solution is ideal I know.

swanriver Sun 31-May-09 18:48:27

Grouchy, my ds finds it a bit difficult to fit into gangs sometimes, although he has mastered his cousins quite well. It is terribly difficult to know what to do when the "gang" or group led by a particular type of child will decide to pick on one child, a child individual members might have played with quite happily.
My ds used to find himself in scrapes quite a lot especially playing games like football where he was required to have a lot of skill and got abnormally upset if the ball was taken from him.
I think when ds was about six I really noticed how easily he was pushed of the group. His behaviour did not help matters, crying and getting in a state easily.
There wasn't really anything I could do except build him up in other situations so that he felt better about himself and less likely to show off be irritating.
I also became aware of how ruthless children can be in groups, and how differently they behave one to one or one to two.
For the record my ds is much better at playing with children slightly younger. Sometimes the peer group did not really suit

I think the best thing you can do is to try and get the children round to play in your house a few at a time so he feels a bit less of a target. It could just be playing computer games together or lego, but it all helps. After all, you give him something the other children get less of and probably are intensely jealous of - attention, and they are sure find that very attractive if they come and play - especially if they get some too!

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