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Anyone else find it hard to describe a day with 2 under 3 as 'fantastic'?
I'm not sure whether I am missing something or my friends are all blatantly bluffing or slightly insane here.
I seem to be noticing more and more than my friends updates on facebook are all along the lines of 'X has had the perfect day with her gorgeous children' or 'X cant believe what a fantastic day she had down the beach with her babies'. Now I know facebook can be the work of the devil (whole new thread ) but does anyone else find a day with toddlers / babies / any other combination exhausting and often frustrating rather than 'fabulous'?
I am not saying I don't love them more than anything in the world, nor that I don't want to spend time with them but as much as I adore them nothing seems straightforward and easy with them and by the time they are in bed I am exhausted.
DS is nearly 3 and DD is 8 months. Today we went to the beach, the park and the ducks. It was great but so so tiring and infuriating at times. DS would be racing around as I tried to lug the pram after him...when I would try and play with him DD was obviously ignored...she didnt want to sit in her pram but then I couldnt help him on the climbing frame and things. She would need feeding when he wanted to be doing something else...I couldnt shade her properly on the beach...he would flick sand accidentally on her...he wanted to go on a boat which I couldnt do with both children - you get the idea! He also has that delightful ability to repeat things over and over and never quite be quiet that toddlers have lol.
Meanwhile friends seem to be living in some kind of Darling buds of May idyllic world with delightful children where everything is calm and happy. Am I going wrong somewhere or are they hiding the truth?
Glossing over some of the bits. If you had only 50 words to describe your day you'd also say that on the whole it was great When I'm in town I wonder how other people's toddlers seem to be in their buggies/supermarket trolleys and how come all mine turned out the wriggly kind. Yet I'm sure for a few minutes a day I must appear "perfect" to others too.
Totally lovin the way you put that
I have a 3&1/2 yr old girl, and a 1&1/2 yr old boy, so I have been there!!! God, have I been there...
Notice the past tense? ;)
Am out the long and tiring tunnel, and beginning to enjoy watching them play, and watching the little un hit back :D
It's not bud o may time yet, but it is certainly verging on the good life ;)
Yes, and FB and Twitter updates are there to piss off the sane and wind up the insane...
some people always put the most vomit inducing, sugar coated crap as their fb status. I know someone like that and i swear she is on valium.
You know Cthea, I do agree. At some points today I was well and truly wanting to disappear then one of them would do something so lovely or make me laugh that they would be forgiven. Funny you say that everyone elses children seem perfect and yours are wriggly - mine are the wriggly ones lol!!! And I know on the whole I am very lucky etc...just its such hard work!
Littleladybug - your post is very positive. This is what Im really looking forward to. When DS is old enough to be a little more sensible...when DD can go on the slides too..when there are no prams or nappies!!
Saying that I kind of want another - whats that all about?!?!?
Meglet - Im sure I should swap academic subjects and run research into facebook statuses!
LMAO - i kinda want another too!!! But I'm gonna be selfish and enjoy the two I've got for now... maybe ask me that again in four years once they're both at school...
I had only a brief time - 7 months - with two under three and, teatime aside, I can honestly describe much of that time as the happiest in my life.
I would also say that now, now that my DS2 is three, that life is definitely easier.
Thingone - your post has made me think actually. Maybe I read their posts wrong as such. Fantastic doesnt necessarily mean easy, simple or without its frustrations does it. If I think about it I am really happy and love having little ones and am sad about them growing up...just some people seem to gloss over how difficult it can be which makes me worry that its just me who finds it this hard. I hope that makes sense.
Very occasionally did we have a "fantastic" day in the 15 months I had 2 under 3. Even more so with 3 aged 4+2 weeks and under. Most of the time I felt as though I was juggling plates. I think it probably depends on the personality of the children concerned though.
3.1 yo and 15mo here.
I'd say that in a typical week, I'd describe 2 days as fantastic (maybe not every minute of the day though), 3 will be fine (some tricky moments, but nothing I can't handle), and 2 will be downright impossible. Certainly there have been days this half term when I'd have happily sold both children on ebay.
Ds1 is testing boundaries atm, in a big way. Ds2 is refusing to go in pushchairs, carseats, shopping trolleys, etc, and is doing lots of dangerous things. There are moments of both days where everything seems to be an uphill struggle.
People told me that the first year with 2 under 3 years would be the hardest, but I find it much harder now with 2 headstrong tantrumming toddlers. But, in the moments when they play together, read together, and make each other giggle it all seems worthwhile.
People always post crap on those sites. I know someone who was always saying how great everything was...perfect marriage, DH a God amongst men, super kids just verging on genius etc etc...then one day she was divorcing and her DH was apparently an alcoholic and had been for years, committed adultery and the children were running wild at school...so frankly I wouldn't believe any of it.
ohdear - I actually found it easier when DD was tiny as she would just sleep. Now she wants to be out of the pram or being part of the action too.
Miggsie - are your friends my friends
Duchesse - I agree. DS is challenging - not in a particularly naughty way but very energetic, on the go, excitable toddler. He is fantastic in the right setting but a bit like a big dog in that he needs to run around a lot.
Again - had a mainly great day but was absolutely exhausting trying to keep it that way. Some really lovely moments but it is so hard and obviously got home to a load of fantastic day statements!
My ds1 is 3.5, ds2 is 1.5, so know all about that. Ds2 has always been terrible sleeper and was a monster bf-er so spent loads of the first year in a chair with v tolerant ds1 putting up with 1 outing/day. Now they do rough-and-tumble together and interact loads, as well as getting on with their on things. The biggest change - at least that I can remember properly - was ds2 finally learning to walk, so making outings for him much more worthwhile and less frustrating. And he was more tired in the evening, too. Now, of course, I spend a lot of time chasing him through open gates in the park and lots of the time it's physically more challenging, but emotionally and intellectually more stimulating with the conversations and watching their reactions and little plots to kick things off.
So, it all changes and it's never a breeze, but it is amazing all the same. And getting a fantastic appraisal or knowing that you've just made a brilliant presentation at work doesn't come close to the best moments with your kids.
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