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1 month old and just wants to be held/won't sleep in moses basket! What to do!?

(47 Posts)
JennyPenny22 Wed 27-May-09 17:08:19

She is driving me mad. When she wakes up, I have about 2 hours of constant feeding/crying etc. She can fall asleep, but then crys when put down. I have a 17 month old who is getting frustrated and has hurt herslef a few times where have been dealing with dd2. sad.

At night, she doesn't like the moses basket. I don't know why, as in our bed, she will fall asleep I if BF her lying down. But then she will wake up screaming - I think because sh hasn't been winded. So I just go round in a circle. I don't like co sleeping with her at all. I have had virtually no sleep the last few days and I don't feel she is safe when we are this tired. Also, when she is screaming, she often wakes up DD1.

And I keep ending up with sick/milk all over my bed! hmm

MIAonline Wed 27-May-09 17:31:10

You will get some good advice on here as to why she might be crying and practical tips, but in the meantime, My bit is to get an Amby natures nest Hammock. They are a godsend for babies who like to be held and don't like the flatness or stillness of a moses basket. I used one and I know a few people who have and all have had a positive experience. i think you can buy them second hand on Ebay and just buy a replacement mattress.

here it is

poshtottie Wed 27-May-09 17:35:38

You poor thing. Do you think she has colic/reflux? Have you tried swaddling her?

In my experience some babies are like this. I know ds was. Do you have any help at all? Maybe just to play with dd1.

Have you considered cranial oestopathy? ds definitely settled after a couple of sessions though I know it doesn't work for all.

Can I suggest a dummy?

timmette Wed 27-May-09 17:35:51

I know it's old fashioned but have you tried swaddling - it worked for my ds he loved it - it made him feel much more secure.

FabulousBakerGirl Wed 27-May-09 17:37:04

sad for you and the baby.

MIAonline Wed 27-May-09 18:25:14

have been thinking..

Agree with others re swaddling. It really can help a baby feel secure.

Also have you tried baby massage. it is very good if DD does have colic and will also relax your DD before bedtime.

Have you tried the cot rather than moses basket? I had a friend whose baby hated the moses basket, but slept fine in the cot!

See your HV, who may have some good advice.

Plus my first piece of advice still stands, though apologies if this is not financially possible. I do understand it is not the cheapest of ideas and you would be best starting with the others first. grin

dizzydixies Wed 27-May-09 18:28:22

I had to sleep sitting up with DD3 for 16wks shock so hope you manage to sort something soon

swaddling
make sure you wind her for long enough
crainial osteopathy would be a good idea if you can afford it, not cheap
try a hot water bottle on the moses basket so you're not putting her down onto the cold iyswim
a sleeping bag/gro bag might help?
does she sleep ok in her pram? doe you have a lie flat bit for that?
good luck

scottishmummyofone Wed 27-May-09 18:45:39

it will pass. it did with my dd who was very similar.

My tips: swaddle, baby sling (the horizontal, close kind), colic drops, baby massage and get your DH to help more (express so you can take it in turns and therefore spend more time with other dd and get sleep!)

ten10 Wed 27-May-09 19:01:10

My DS was exactly the same,
things which worked for us, was letting him sleep on his tummy,
and switching him to his proper cot as he never got on with the moses basket but loved his cot straight away

but all are different and so you will probably need to try everything before you find out what works for you

JennyPenny22 Wed 27-May-09 19:25:11

The hammocks look good, but can't really afford one. Will loook on ebay later when I have a bit more time.

I have help when Hubby is here, but he does shift work and like today, he is working 11am-11pm which means I don't really see him as he doesn't get up till he needs to as he needs the sleep for work!

I tried swaddling in just a normal blanket but not sure I am doing it right as she just gets her arms out straight away. Was thinking about getting one of those lecro swaddle blankets? Wasn't sure how long you can use them for though?

I do think she may have colic and/or reflux. Don't really know much about it TBH. She does throw up a lot, often projectile? Tried infacol but didn't do much. Have got some gripe water today and hoping to try that. Prefer to have something to use after feeds rather than before as otherwise I forget blush.

I want to eat my dinner with no baby on my boob!! Lol

Pyrocanthus Wed 27-May-09 19:35:40

Co-sleeping worked for me at night, but I know not everyone is comfortable with that. I gradually got my younger dd out of the bed after a few months by sliding her into her cot, which was against our bed with the side down, after feeds. I don't think she'd have fallen for this when she was a newborn, so she must have been ready for a bit more separation by then. When you need to concentrate on your older child during the day, try a sling - dd2 was practically a marsupial in her first year. Lack of sleep is awful, a lot of people here feel for you. It will get better.

Loopymumsy Wed 27-May-09 19:55:00

Message withdrawn

wideratthehips Wed 27-May-09 20:09:21

vibrating chair and a dummy??? just to give you a break for a little while....it sounds exhausting for you.

my baby id 10wks now and i did co sleeping for first 8wks...during that time i put her at right angle to me once she had finished feeding and slept facing her so i wouldn't roll.

JennyPenny22 Wed 27-May-09 20:28:58

I have a sling. I use the close carrier but TBH she doesn't really like that either! She is ok after a while IF I am constantly moving. But I have tried just having her in there for the evening and it just doesn't work. She just cries!

She has been awake for a good 2-3 hours now and in that time, not once have I put her down without her crying! sad. I took about an hour to eat my dinner because i had her feeding/winding and changing nappies between mouthfuls. I have just managed to move her into her vibrating chair (Only place she will sleep in the day hmm) And she is finally starting to settle. Although she is still not quite asleep so might just kick off again in a min!

JennyPenny22 Wed 27-May-09 20:39:56

Ok she never went to sleep and is back on me sad.

I have tried her with a dummy and she won't take to it - any ideas on how to get her to have one? She just spits it out?

Pyrocanthus Wed 27-May-09 20:40:55

I think the truth is that little babies can be a bit of a trial... The nice thing about this sort of forum is that you realize that many people go through the same thing and come out at the other end more or less intact. In a less technological age (11 years ago in fact), I found reading about angelic babies in Penelope Leach far less reassuring.

ellasmum1 Wed 27-May-09 20:53:10

This sounds like reflux. My dd had it for 3 mths. It can be horrendous for you- they cry all the time and may or may not vomit back feeds. Look up the symptoms. Try propping head end of moses basket up on telephone directories on floor. Helps acid stay down.
Infant gaviscon helps some babies(see GP) and can be mixed with breastmilk.
Also do not be fobbed off by health professionals. If shes always crying that is NOT normal.Get a paediatric referral for daignosis if gaviscon doesn't help.
Keep baby upright for at least 30 mins after feeds.
Its so so tiring for you. Make sure you have breaks or you could get depressed!
Mine wouldn't take a dummy either, but if you keep trying with it(holding it in etc) she might take it eventually.

Pyrocanthus Wed 27-May-09 20:55:50

Sorry, didn't mean to be smugly reminiscing while you're being eaten alive. My daughter preferred me to a dummy too, and fed all evening, every evening, before tucking herself up in bed with me then spending the next day in the sling. I have no very helpful answer, other than that she improved, little by little. She is also an extremely affectionate and cuddly child now. Don't know if a desire to be close is all it was.

ellasmum1 Wed 27-May-09 20:56:40

www.babyreflux.co.uk/knowledge/questions/3/What+are+the+symptoms+of+baby+reflux%3F
Try this link!

Loopymumsy Wed 27-May-09 20:58:41

Message withdrawn

wideratthehips Wed 27-May-09 20:59:23

i have found with my babies that they prefer the cherry shaped latex dummies (i have got rid of them around 16wks when your resolve is a bit stronger)

also i have had a sleep association thing...fleecey blanket...when you are feeding them snuggle them up with a soft blanket close to their face (you can stroke their cheek with it) when threy go down to sleep tuck it against their cheeks...think about how they look when your feeding them...they have soft fabric/skin against their face...this has work with all my babies.

theoptimist Wed 27-May-09 21:04:07

Well I could have written your post last week. My LO is almost 5 weeks old. I decided to get her to sleep in her basket this week, and have managed it. It's hard though, as she did cry (still does) and I have to keep going back, cuddling her and putting her back. But, she does eventually sleep (after an hour of this!) and sleeps for 4-5 hours. Then during the night, she wakes up twice for feeds, but goes straight back to sleep in her basket after each feed. I can't get her to sleep in her basket at all during the day. She doesn't like sitting in her rocking chair, etc., she just wants to be held. So I now carry her all day long in a baby carrier. At least that way she gets her much needed naps and is less frantic in the evenings - so easy to get her into bed.
I did the same with my DD2 and it really helped. Only when I read my diary did I realise I'd done this (from 7 weeks) after weeks of hassle, so I'm trying it again.

My DP works long shifts and I hardly see him for 5 days. Also I have 3 other children, so I had to sort something out.

With my others, I found they'd only sleep on their stomach, but with this baby, she will sleep on her side/back.

I also tried swaddling, which worked for about a week, but my babies didn't like it and would struggle to free their arms and get very angry.

As long as the basket / cot is comfortable and warm, I'd say make sure your baby gets good long naps in the day and then try to get your baby into the cot or basket at 'bedtime' - even if it takes an hour each night. But she needs to be clearly tired, and you need a cup of tea to enjoy in the gaps when you leave you baby to whinge for a few mins. Honestly, it's not cruel. My father in law is a paediatrician, and he has explained how letting a baby cry now and then is absolutely not cruel or harmful at all. In fact, our baby's are in transition for weeks, so a lot of things are going to feel strange, uncomfortable, etc., for the first few or more times, and they will generally cry. But, they soon get used to them - same for sleeping in a cot or basket. Some take to it quicker than others. You have to persevere, as it's all just supporting the baby's transition from our womb into this world. It's hard, but we have to be strong, as it is actually helping them in the long term.

I also play music (only at bedtime). With this baby, I play pop/rock music. With my others I played a nursery rhymes CD. It does help I find.

We and our babies are all so different, but, I just wanted you to know I did have this problem, and don't now (after cahnging my approach and committing to it).

fruitstick Wed 27-May-09 21:07:45

My DS was the same - and all I can say is it will pass. He is 14 weeks now and is a happy confident little chap. He's not the best sleeper in the world but will at least sleep lying down now grin.

I tried everything, hot water bottles, swaddling the lot but nothing worked. He did like sleeping on his tummy which I did during the day but was too scared to do it at night. I had best success with 'wedging'! Swaddle, then lie on side and get 2 rolled up towels which you can wedge either side so she can't roll over and has pressure on her tummy and back. Just make sure she can't get too hot.

Those velcro blankets are useless - if you have a Houdini nothing short of straightjacket will suffice.

JennyPenny22 Wed 27-May-09 21:19:14

I have just given her gaviscon and she is sitting on my lap, quietly and doesn't seem to be asking for a feed. Might be a coincidence - not sure how fast it is meant to work. (I had the gavison here from DD1).

She also has a dummy in her mouth. It is a NUK one, the others we tried were TT. I do have to keep holding it in though

MIAonline Thu 28-May-09 08:32:52

I would take her to the GP or HV and have a chat about the possibility of Colic/reflux. It seems agood place to start before you attempt all the other bits of advice. Hope things get a bit easier for you soon. smile

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