For people who are struggling with that bonding thing

[NationalFlight]

I hope this doesn't sound trite, but I feel the urge to share it in case it helps anyone.

Being honest, I have really struggled to bond with ds1. I don't know why - many causes and circumstances I suppose. I just have never 'got' him, despite trying all the tricks and so on - pretending till I was blue in the face, seeing all his good piints and still feeling numb

Ds2 came along 2 years ago and I realised what it was to love a child immediately. That made it even sadder but now I can see it may have given me hope. Though I had almost resigned myself to never loving ds1 as intensely and feeling instead desperately sorry for him.

But it's happened. He was 6 yesterday and we went out with his friend, without ds2. I don't know what happened, I really don't, but by the time we got home I felt differently and by bedtime I was deeply in love with ds1

Am slightly in shock about it, and also afraid because he finally feels like he is MINE

but Oh the relief
and the intensity

I wanted you all to know that if you've felt like I did, even for 6 years, it can still happen. Never give up

[NationalFlight]

points not pints

[NationalFlight]

It's so weird though Ras

I honestly have never felt like this about him! I have no idea why not, it didn;'t come and go - just never appeared. Till now! Bit bloody late but still...I hope he knows iyswim.

[helpYOUiWILL]

i feel that wau about ds2. The odd thing is when i had ds1 i rejected him at first but now he is really "mine", whereas on ds2 delivery i had the instant overwhellming love for him. But it seems to be deminishing over time and i dont know why

[littleboyblue]

Good on you NF This kind of thing is rarely spoken about, but can be quite normal. I'm very happy for you and your ds1.
I didn't bond with my ds1 until he was about 5 months. Ds2 I thought it happened straight away, but then he started crying all the time and everything got a bit harder. I love him to bits, but have to sometimes remind myself that he doesn't cry to wind me up