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For people who are struggling with that bonding thing

(6 Posts)
NationalFlight Mon 25-May-09 21:30:42

I hope this doesn't sound trite, but I feel the urge to share it in case it helps anyone.

Being honest, I have really struggled to bond with ds1. I don't know why - many causes and circumstances I suppose. I just have never 'got' him, despite trying all the tricks and so on - pretending till I was blue in the face, seeing all his good piints and still feeling numb sad

Ds2 came along 2 years ago and I realised what it was to love a child immediately. That made it even sadder but now I can see it may have given me hope. Though I had almost resigned myself to never loving ds1 as intensely sad and feeling instead desperately sorry for him.

But it's happened. He was 6 yesterday and we went out with his friend, without ds2. I don't know what happened, I really don't, but by the time we got home I felt differently and by bedtime I was deeply in love with ds1 smile

Am slightly in shock about it, and also afraid because he finally feels like he is MINE

but Oh the relief
and the intensity

I wanted you all to know that if you've felt like I did, even for 6 years, it can still happen. Never give up smile

NationalFlight Mon 25-May-09 21:31:20

points not pints grin

rasputin Mon 25-May-09 21:35:17

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NationalFlight Mon 25-May-09 21:37:59

It's so weird though Ras

I honestly have never felt like this about him! I have no idea why not, it didn;'t come and go - just never appeared. Till now! Bit bloody late but still...I hope he knows iyswim.

helpYOUiWILL Sun 31-May-09 20:31:26

i feel that wau about ds2. The odd thing is when i had ds1 i rejected him at first but now he is really "mine", whereas on ds2 delivery i had the instant overwhellming love for him. But it seems to be deminishing over time sad and i dont know why

littleboyblue Sun 31-May-09 20:34:30

Good on you NF This kind of thing is rarely spoken about, but can be quite normal. I'm very happy for you and your ds1.
I didn't bond with my ds1 until he was about 5 months. Ds2 I thought it happened straight away, but then he started crying all the time and everything got a bit harder. I love him to bits, but have to sometimes remind myself that he doesn't cry to wind me up sad

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