Help! DD is dropping her 3rd nap but not without a fuss. Not sure how to cope and progress!

[beanice]

Thanks to doing (with huge difficulty) the whole sleep training thing at 4mths, DD - now 8mths - got into a happy, regular nap routine. But no more. Up until the last week DD was content to, give or take -
wake: 6.30am
nap: 9am- 1 to 1 and half hours
nap: 1pm - 1 to 1 and half hours, sometimes longer
cat nap: 5pm - 45 minutes
bed: 7.30pm

Now DD will no longer nap at 5pm - she just cries - but is still tired and gets more and more tired and so more and more fussy as the evening goes on.

Not sure how to minimise this 'transition' fussing. And how to actually transition from 3 to 2 naps. For now I'm still a FT SAHM so, luckily, I can be flexible, but don't know in what way. Do I change the nap times all together? Do I bring meal times forward (lunch is around 11.30 supper around 6pm)? Something else? Also, how long should I expect for this new routine to settle?

All wisdom gratefully received!

[Olihan]

I'd give her an earlier tea and put her to bed earlier, say tea at 5 and bed at 6:30.

[beanice]

Olihan if I put DD to bed an hour earlier does that not mean that she'll wake an hour earlier - 5.30am is too early for me!

[HuffwardlyRudge]

In my experience bedtime has very little effect on what time they wake up.

[luvoneson]

I tell you what I did on advice and believe me it worked. My sister and my friend do the same. Let the child sleep when it wants. All this routine sleeping during the day at certain times!!! If child wants to sleep at 10-12 let it, could be a different time next day. As they get older sleep time does drop off. Try not to get to stressed about getting a routine, just go with the flow.

[beanice]

Luvoneson - I envy the ease of your experience. Before I had DD I thought I would go with the 'baby-lead' approach to napping. When DD arrived, however, it soon became apparent she was not a natural napper. She just NEVER wanted to close her eyes and when she did it would be for a matter of minutes. Within a couple of months of this our happy baby had become an exhausted, cranky little thing. That's when I tried - and persisted with- the alternative. Within a couple of weeks DD was getting easy, happy-restoring naps at set times each day. So, now that I know DD responds to a routine I am keen to try to find a new one that works for her (and therefore me!).

HuffwardlyRudge - I'm interested to hear about your experience on bedtime and waking time. Has anyone else found that an early bedtime doesn't necessarily mean an earlier wake time. If so, v.encouraging!

[fizzpops]

I found that during the times my DD was chaning her sleep routines (all dictated by herself initially) she was grouchy and tired, just not tired enough to sleep. I used to put her in the pushchair and take her for walks and just generally have quiet play time.

They do settle down after a while, it is painful while it lasts though!

[fizzpops]

Re: bedtime. Although I haven't dared putting her to bed earlier I have found that a later bedtime doesn't necessarily mean a later waking far from it!

My DD is one year old btw.

[beanice]

Another couple of promising suggestion, thanks Fizzpops. The walk I can definately see working. But not sure that things like looking at a favourite book would work for 'quiet play time'. Do you mind telling me a little more about to manage this when DD is being, as you put it, grouchy and tired.
As a first time mum I'm keen to learn as much as ...
Thanks.

[flourybaps]

Hi, I found dropping the third nap was tricky but I just put dd to bed a little earlier, if she is getting up at 6.30 am she could prob do woth being in bed at 6.30 pm. I found the earlier bed time didnt make any difference to what time she gets up in the morning.

Id try putting her to bed at 6.30 for a couple of nights, if she wakes earlier and it dosent suit then change it back, worth a go.

Then tea time, bath time etc will all be earlier so hopefully she wont be as grumpy.

Baby einstein DVD's always worked well for half an hour of distraction in the evening for my dd.

[fizzpops]

Hi beanice - I am a first time Mum as well so I am watching this thread with interest too! From my experience the walks saved my sanity.

Quiet play time does tend to involve books a lot as this is what my DD really enjoys at the moment but generally I would avoid any toys that make a noise or music and just talk to her about them rather than do something 'physical'. I also let her set the pace rather than me so if she is happy crawling round and picking things up and putting them down again I let her get on with it. Sometimes just holding her and walking up and down for five minutes is enough to calm her down and stop her being cranky and then we do some quiet play as above as she is more receptive. She has a comfort cloth and this comes into play in the hour or so before bedtime too. It is difficult and I imagine in this as all things children are different.

[Penthesileia]

My DD sounds very similar to yours, OP: not a natural napper at all, and if I didn't make an effort to help her drop off, would never nap.

She too dropped the 3rd nap from around 9 months. Some days she'd nap, others not, for about a month or so.

I found that either taking her out for a walk and perhaps a play outside (if possible); or putting her in a sling and just pottering around myself, would give her just enough activity that she wouldn't grumble, but not so much that she became exhausted and unhappy.

She's now 11mo, and I've found that her morning nap is pretty much always 1.5 hours, ditto her afternoon nap, and - except for the first couple of hours before her first nap - she stays awake for 3-3.5 hour stretches. So, she naps from 9-10.30ish, then again from 2-3.30ish, and then can remain awake comfortably til 7.30 or so (depending on the length of her afternoon nap).

I guess what I'm saying is, this grouchy stage will pass pretty quickly, so don't stress too much.

[Horton]

If it were me, I think I'd try and make her other two naps a bit later - say keep her up another half hour in the morning and don't put her down until 2 for her afternoon nap. That might help her manage to stay up until bedtime, hopefully.

[TreeTrunkThighs]

What worked for me was eeking dd2 out a bit longer in the morning before nap 1 and again in the afternoon before nap 2. So If I were you I'd maybe try a 9.30am nap and a 2pm nap. I would also then think about moving tea bit earlier so that she isn't too tired to eat. Which, I have just noticed is exactly what Horton has suggested above! Great minds!

[beanice]

Thanks to all this thoughtful, encouraging and doable-sounding advice I'm feeling much more confident about helping DD find her way with two rather than three naps. Between the walks, books, DVDs, later starting naps, earlier staring meals, and possibly, earlier starting bedtimes I'm sure we'll get there!
Thanks again for all your support and wisdom. Really valuable.
B