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Younger Moms???!!!

(47 Posts)
Calmriver Thu 05-May-05 20:55:56

I am 23, and was told by some b***d in the lift the other day that I am too young to be a mom!( he didn't know how old I was, and I do look young)
He just came out and said' you are NOT old enough to be a mother! I was shocked!

I don't drink,smoke and have never been away from dd(8 months) for longer than an hour!!!

How dare he!

sparklymieow Thu 05-May-05 20:58:56

oh rude..... hope you blew a raspberry!!! I am 26 and have 7yr old,4 yr old, and 3 yr old and regularly get told I don't look old enough....

darlingbud Thu 05-May-05 20:59:31

Thats appauling. 23 is not too young to be a mother. I hate patronising people like that.

We get it at work - if you are under 40 you are "just a baby". I feel like screaming that I am most definatley not. I am an experienced professional woman of nearly 30 years who is married and a responsible mother.

I think people who express those attitudes are rude and disrespectful.

Calmriver Thu 05-May-05 21:02:01

Who are people to judge us? It really p**s me off! I could have decked him! I think its great being young! be back after foort wives

Socci Thu 05-May-05 21:04:25

Message withdrawn

cat82 Thu 05-May-05 21:04:51

Grrrr, just wrote this on the other thread as well. I'm 23 as well and have had stares and rude comments.
What gives people the right?! I am happy and settled, i don't smoke (except on a very, very rare night out!) i own my own house with a wonderful and supportive dp.
Age is not a factor in good parenting.
People who comment on complete strangers ages in a negative way or anything else for that matter need lessons on good manners imo!!!!!

Newbarnsleygirl Thu 05-May-05 21:07:04

I was speaking to a lady today and she looked at dd and said "Oh, are you a young mum?" WTF was that supposed to mean?

darlingbud Thu 05-May-05 21:10:26

UnbelievaBLE ISN'T IT. Look got so angry my computer strated typing in capitals and I can't spell anymore!!!


That's better. I think that people's insulting comments could also be due to jealousy.

I was called a "bairn" by a women at work just 10 years older than me. How odd was that. She was still in primary school when I was born - it hardly makes her prehistoric!!

Calmriver Thu 05-May-05 21:11:59

I got married when I was 20, by choice, and we are really happy! I agree with you totally!!!!

Mimsie Thu 05-May-05 21:22:19

lol... I was 24 when I had my DS, 23 when I was pregnant, and I was in a cab chit chatting to the driver, when he asked me if I was going out at the weekend, and I said nope those days are over am 3 month pregnant... he looked at me indignant saying: "well... there I thought you were a good girl"

he left me gobsmacked!! and there I was justifying myself that I was happily married and all (married at 22)

was fuuuuming after... hubby did point out thought that I used to be asked for ID before going into clubs caus am quite little. Still he had no right had I not been happily married etc... he would have really upset me

derbymom Thu 05-May-05 21:38:17

It is rude as people assume that because you are young you are irresponsible. I got married at 19 and people thought i was mad. DD is 10 months old and I am 26 - so what she's the best thing thats ever happened to me and if I'd known I'd be this happy i'd have done it years ago!!!

It really annoys me at mother and baby group when mums in their 30s call me the "baby" of the group.

cat82 Thu 05-May-05 21:38:30

I have to say the being married doesn't nesseceraly mean you're a good parent either, but i really, really do know what you mean
No offence meant to anyone!

darlingbud Thu 05-May-05 21:41:14

I don't think anyone was specifically linking the two Cat82.

Calmriver Thu 05-May-05 22:02:33

I agree, being married doesn't have anything to do with being a good parent, AT ALL!!!!!
You have seen some parents in town, married and horrible.x

derbymom Fri 06-May-05 14:40:15

No offence taken but i wasn't saying that being married makes you a better parent just that people judge the decisions that you make based on your age and take nothing else into account. there are good parents and not so good parents of all ages!

Sapphire1975 Fri 06-May-05 16:16:56

I had my 1st ds at 19 and was treated like a silly little girl who had clearly slept around and got pregnant, the hospital when I first went for an antenatal because they could not find my notes, asked my date of birth and assumed I must be there for a termination!!

I am now 30 and have 3 ds and still get the stupid ignorant attitude just when I need it least.
I recently had to have a scan to check my womb for tumours and the woman doing it kept on acting horrified I already had 3 kids and tried to blame me having them so young for all my problems.
(no tumours bytw)

charleepeters Fri 06-May-05 16:19:18

im 18 and i have an 8 motnhs old son bloody cheek it doesnt matter your age im sure your a great mom we all are! x

Calmriver Fri 06-May-05 21:04:02

People are far too judgemental, it's nice to know there are some other young moms out there who know what I go through at 23!

AngelCakeUmm Fri 06-May-05 21:08:00

Well i was 20 when ds was born and have just found out number 2 is on the way and i am 23 now i hate people like that how dare they. It's not to do with age its to do with when you feel ready grrrrr.

Calmriver Fri 06-May-05 22:39:02

The number of times I growl too!

You should have seen when I was pregnant!LOL

FIMAC1 Sat 07-May-05 07:45:16

Probably most of our parents had us in their early 20's, (mine did)

Double standards me thinks

fostermum Sat 07-May-05 07:57:38

when i was 8 months pregnant with first daughter i was 20, when i got on the bus DP was asked if i was half fair. god for the days lol

Distel Sat 07-May-05 08:38:17

I am 23 and I have a 5,3 and a 1 year old.

I struggle (on the odd occasion) when I go into town in an evening with friends to persuade doorstaff in pubs/clubs that I am 18! I don't drive, have never been abroad and keep forgetting to get one of thoose citizen card things - you think you have trouble!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Distel Sat 07-May-05 09:01:04

Sorry, got interupted earlier - when I had my first DS at 18 my DH (who was 34)and myself were going back to the maternity ward after giving birth, when a midwife said

"Oh, what a lovely baby - and what doeas the proud grandad think" DH just looked up and said " I don't know, we havn't told him yet" The look on her face was a picture

I do think some people are very judjemental towards young mums though - I have even been asked if all mine still see the different fathers!!!!!!!!!!!!
When I replied that their father is there evry night to put them to bed and they most definetly all have the same father (few choice explicit words were also added to this statement), the man just looked up and said - "makes a bl**dy change these days" and walked off - gobsmacked or what !!!!!!!!!

sparklymieow Sat 07-May-05 09:08:34

actually seeing that comment reminded me of when I was pregnant with DD1 and the Midwife asked me if DH was DS' dad...... I said to her, 'yes and its in the file if you looked' she then said 'well, it unusual for a 20 year old to come with a 2 year old and both babies have the same father....'

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