SAHM's and P/T working mums - what is your daily routine?

[beatie]

I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed. My dd is almost 2 and a half. Apart from two days wehn she is at nursery and I study and the activities for which we leave the house, I don't have any other routine and now I feel that I need one.

The time of day I find particularly difficult is from 7.30-9.30 in the morning. DH leaves for work at 7.30. I hate that I don't get a chance to get myself in order i.e. showering, dressing, breakfast before DH leaves for work and DD is demanding my full-on attention but getting up earlier is not an option since I am pregnant with #2.

She just won't play by herself or even watch TV in the morning.

I'm crap at housework too. I had very bad morning sickness from Jan through to March, so I have totally got out of the habit of getting stuff done around the house. I've slipped into a sort of lethargy that I hate. DH is fantastic and does way more than his fair share.

I feel like I need to kick-start life in Spring with a good routine for both DD and for me. Sometimes these wet days feel so long.

Can anyone help?

[moondog]

Can't you bring her into the bathroon with you? She could play while you shower or even get in with you! That's what I did with my dd until she was about 3. (Couldn't ever really leave her as dh was abroad.)
To stop things becoming dreary, I think the best thing is to get out as soon as possible after breakfast. The ideal is a good walk, failing that out to do some shopping, off to the park or something.
That way, you can both relax a bit in the afternoon. Lie on the sofa and read while she watches a video or something.

The other thing i always did/do was get the breakfast stuff ready in advance which made it more peaceful and gave me time to come round slowly.
I sympathise. Long w/ends alone were sooo hard and exhausting to fill when my dd was between 1 and 3. Hours and hours asnd hours alone with her.
Never again!!!

[bubbly1973]

beatie, im a fulltime sahm...and i have noticed that if i dont get ready before 9 then i feel lazy and all out of sorts all morning, and dont kickstart myself till after lunch

so i always make sure i get ready asap
ds is 3 in june, and old enough to play on his own whilst i get ready, sometimes he comes in the bathroom with his car and rides around the bathroom whilst im taking a shower

good luck with the birth of your 2nd baby and dont give yourself too much of a hard time, your pregnant ...when is your baby due...maybe try to get in a routine of some sort before then so that you dont feel lost when baby arrives

[beatie]

I like the idea of going for a wlak Moondog as that will give me a reason to get ready early and out of the house.

I think one of the problems is that I end up sitting around in my PJs for too long, as there's no urgency to get ready and out of the house as toddler activities don't start before 10 or 11am. Then I end up feeling sluggish for the rest of the day.

[moondog]

Yes, I know that feeling!
Honestly, a walk really kickstarts you and then you can relax later guilt free.It tires the kids too and they are then much calmer. I learnt long ago that for me at least the hanging around the house in pyjamas thing just lead to lethargy and depression.

[beatie]

The new baby is due in September and I am aware that I need to have some sort of routine going before the baby arrives else I will be totally overwhelmed.

I manage to have a shower OK - I leave the door open and I can hear DD playing in her room. It's just getting round to having the shower. I leave it to later morning.

DD will amuse herself if I am engrossed in something like washing the dishes. That's why I thought I should try and incorporate some housework into my morning... I'm just so out of practice I need some ideas of how to break it down into small chunks. I'm so undomesticated

BTW - I've only been a SAHM since September... so it's all still quite new to me.

[kate100]

I'm the same as bubbly, I start getting ready as soon as DH leaves for work so that I then have the whole day to do things, otherwise I feel lazy. I try and do something first thing in the morning and then let DS play in the afternoon while I do jobs. I'm pregnant with no. 2 also and it took me a long time to get back inot my routine after the sickness wore off, but my house looks quite tidy and DS and I are both dressed, so I must have managed it

[moondog]

I set myself some goals every day.
At present (sahm in Turkey, finding it hard to adjust but getting there!) they're things like...

bit of home schooling with dd
walk
shopping
an hour or two of sewing
cooking a meal
writing up my diary
physio exercises X2 for bad shoulder
an hour of housework
oh yes, and a spare minute or two on MN!!

[moondog]

Oh yes! Daily Turkish lesson. Speaking of which, time to shut down and get my school books out.

[bubbly1973]

kate100 yes its 9.41 and im showered and ready, although im fighting with ds to get ready but he wont...and im not trying to hard as i been on here all morning

[Hulababy]

DD has just turned 3. I work 3 days a week (she goes to nursery 2 days, PILs 1 day). ON a Monday we do Gymboree ina morning. But that is are only activitiy and organisation stops there for us I am afraid. I do'tt really do housework on my days off.

DH sets off for work at about 8am on my days off. I then sort out DD after that.

DD will then have breakfast. She will then sit on my bed watching CBeebies or similar whilst I have a shower and get dressed. I then get DD dressed - some days she may have a shower too. We tend to have lunch around 12:30/1ish.

DD will play on her own more and more as she gets older though - which makes life easier. She loves the Happy Land toys and they really grip her imagination for ages at a time. We have a lot of imagaination toys - kitchen, food, market stall, dolls, etc.

We also spend a fair both of time out of the house - walking into town, shopping, soft palay (with friends). The library does story time which is noce. And we will often have lunch out - in a cafe if cool, as a picnic in town/out and about if warmer.

I try to get out every day as it helps the day pass, and DD doesn't become bored.

Occasionally we may do something crafty - paining, colouring, sticking, cooking.

[Frizbe]

I try and work from home! so days usually go like this (unless its a nursery day, in which case I should get some work done!)

Dd wakes up anytime from 6-7.30, usually minds her own business in her cot until 7.30ish tho, so then dive out of bed, go to loo! then get her out and bring her into bed with me (dh usually working by this time, also works from home but in office, hidden) She climbs all over me/the bedroom, until balamory has finished 8.20ish, by which time I feel alive enough to move and we go and get breakfast.
After breakfast 8.45ish, we go back upstairs wash and get dressed, then dd usually rattles around whilst I read e-mails and get some work done for half-1hr, then we make an effort to get out of the house and do something, even if only to go to bank for work (usually via park for dd!) dd usually manages to play by herself, with vague interaction from me whilst I work, then we lunch, dd has a nap, so I finish what work I can, then we play later in afternoon for an hour or so, before I make tea. Only exception to this is Thursdays where we go to playscheme am and out for lunch with girls n toddlers afterwards, thus work is on back burner that day.
Housework fits in whereever it can, my ironing pile looks horrendous again!

[bobbybob]

I just throw some clothes on and take ds to the park or go for a walk. I shower when I get back, when ds is a bit tired and content to sit with some books or a DVD or something. Then whatever happens I have done something with the day. I find if I try to shower first thing, something more important comes up, whereas when I get back I am more motivated to put on clean clothes.

[Titania]

eek......lots of bleach!

[compo]

Ds usually gets me up at 6.45am. I give him a bottle and then he plays til 8am which is breakfast time. Dh gets up at 7am so I have a shower while he eats his breakfast/makes his lunch while watching ds. Then I give him his breakfast. Dh leaves for work and atm ds naps in the am. Then we go off somewhere in the pm - usually a walk, shopping or on a Tuesday Mother and Toddlers.

[WideWebWitch]

I'd get dh to have her for at least half an hour before he goes so you can go to the loo and shower ALONE. That's what we do. If we can't I take dd into the bathroom with me while I shower and let her wander about (there are toys in there). Oh just realised moondog said that! I agree about getting dressed and showered = more energy = more likelihood of doing something, going out etc. I have to leave at 8.30am to take ds to school and it does motivate me. Hmmm, except now I'm here! Not being on mumsnet until you've done some stuff is a good one but I have unloaded and reloaded the dishwasher and washing machine, made 2 breakfasts, hung a load of washing out, made 2 packed lunches, tidied the kitchen, made 2 bottles up, been to the supermarket, dressed dd, chivied ds into a shower AND managed to put on some make up! I did most of that before 8.30 though, when we left for school, and then I didn't get back until 10am so as I've also walked for at least 40 minutes of that I feel justified in sitting down for a bit now while dd eats some apple!

[weesaidie]

I think that everyone who has said it is best to get out is completely and utterly right. My dd is 1yr and gets up about 7.30am, goes to bed at 7.30pm so I have 12 hours to fill!

I find if I don't get dressed sharpish I do end up lying on the sofa til late morning (at least!) feeling really lethargic!

Walks. shopping, lunch/coffee with friends all break up the day nicely....

So
7.30am - get up, showered and dressed (me and dd)
breakfast
maybe a bit of housework
out late morning/lunchtime some days, early afternoon on others....
Back on time to start dinner/bath/bed routine!

[Fran1]

I do similar to what others have said, but before getting out the house, i aim to do a bit of housework each morning, whether its hoovering/ironing/loading/unloading the dishwasher or dusting.

That way i feel content that i've done my "chores". Me and dd go and have fun walking/park/meet with friends/shopping etc

Then hopefully dd falls asleep on the way home so i get some "me time" or work as i work from home.

In case anyone is wondering why this morning dd is at pre-school and so i'm working at my desk, can't you see??

[popsycal]

hi there
i am not a SAHm but am on maternity leave, with a lomg period of sick leave before that. Dh also works weekends on a regular basis

i agree that you have to get up and dressed and out early so you dont spned all morning faffing about

ds1 wakes anytime between 6 and 7. he comes in our room and watches tv and I feed ds2 if he is awake

i make sure i have shower/bath the night before - not ideal but not possbile at the minute with a toddler and a 7 week old

as soon as i get out of bed i get dressed
go downstairs - feed ds2 while ds1 watches a bit of tv. then make ds1s beakfast. he feeds himsel while i give ds2 the other half of his feed

then i sort ds1 - nappy, clothes change then he has a quikc na[ while i sort ds1, do my hair and freshen up. if we are not rushing out, i will put a load of washing in, empty dishwaser ( or fill it if i didnt do it the night befdore )
we can all be ready and out of the house within an hour if i really get my skates on

really do try to get into a routine before baby comes.....

[Prufrock]

Firstly don't beat yourslef up too much about this. My "get up and go" returned of it's own accord within days of giving birth second time around.
My routine on the 3 weekdays dd is not at nursery is:

DD (3) wakes up 8ish. She comes into our bed and watches TV whilst I shower. Until recntly she would also have a bottle of milk. Then we go and wake up ds (1), and he has bf in our bed whilst dd watches more TV. (If your dd won't do this she is old enough IMO, to be told it is watch TV or play quietly in her room by herself - by 2.5 they should be capable of some non attention time). If he wakes before I get in the shower he has his bf first and is then happy to pad about in the bathroom. I bought dd some plain face powder, clear lip balms and brushes and she will often put her "make-up" on whilst I do mine (minimal honest, but it is amazing how much better you feel with a bit of moisturiser mascara and lip gloss).
Then we all get dressed together and tidy up upstairs before we go down. So beds are made, any books/toys that escaped the pre bed tidy are put away, curtains all opened. It measn we don't have to go upstairs again before bedtime, and I know a tip doesn't await me if I do go up.

Downstairs, and we all have breakfast together. I clean up after dinner, so everything is tidy to come down to. After breakfast we tidy up the dishes and empty the dishwasher if it needs it. I usually put a load of washing on overnight, so we empty the washing machine (one of dd's favourite jobs) and either bung it in the dryer or hang outside depending on the weather. It is then usually time to go out to an activity.

We come back, make and have lunch. In the afternoons we play, and prepare dinner when ds is asleep - which dd loves helping with. We might go out for a walk or to the park. At 5pm itis "tidy up time" and once all toys are away dd is allowed to watch more TV until we go and pick dh up from the station (usually 5:40ish - so she gets on average 1 hour a day)

Dh then takes over whilst I finish dinner. Afer dinner, he takes both for a bath so I can clean up in the kitchen before I go to help get tehem out and feed ds.

[elliott]

prufrock I was just abotu to put a at dd waking at 8am....then I read further on and realise that you have to wake ds after you've had a shower which you didn't start till 8am....how do you do it?? I will be even more if they go to bed at 7 every night!

But anyway, my 'routine' consists of makingn sure I am up and dressed before dh leaves the house - otherwise getting out would be like wading through treacle. he leaves at 8.30 and generally does ds's breakfast first, and they are usually also dressed by then.
I find that things start to fall apart if we haven't got out of the house by about 9/9.30. Generally I do a trip to the local shop and/or park for an hour or so in the morning, so there are only two short bursts before and after the trip in which to entertain them. A spot of playdough or drawing is good for filling in the first gap, then often when we come home ds1 will play outside by himself while I get lunch and amuse ds2.

[Prufrock]

Bed at 7:30 elliot. And they sleep through [evil grin]. BUT I did have a long period of dd not going to bed until 10pm, and then only if I cuddled her, and usually ending up in our bed in the night.
Ds is just the amazing sleping baby. The other weekend we left him to see how long he would stay asleep for - the first noises came from his room at 9:45! He did only have 1.5 hours sleep at lunchtime that day though.

[Prufrock]

Oh and how - We have blackout blinds stuck to the windows so it is pitch black in their rooms. When we did stickers with dd to sort out going to bed we did it for going to bed and not getting out until it was morning time - so now when she wakes she shouts "Mummy. It morning time yet?" from her bed. And I have to say that since she has gone from 10-6 to 7.30-8 she has been so much better during the day as well. We can really tell whe she has had a late night as she is grumpy as hell next day.

[elliott]

Gosh is that all i have to limit ds2 to 1.5 hrs nap or he is up before 6....
they are not that bad though, usually we don't get disturbed at night. I'd just kill for a few late mornings though! Ds2 just doesn't seem to need more than about 12.5 hours total sleep a day....

[elliott]

And in fact neither of them have ever done 12 hours a night other than occasionally. just built like that I guess. Never had a problem getting them to sleep early though! Ds1 is also well trained and won't get up before his light comes on (7am). ds2 still pre-reasoning....

[clary]

Beatie I sympathise. Not a SAHM myself any more but I was when I had a yr off with DS2. I agree a routine is good. The trouble is when I was off I had older ones to get to nursery or school for 9am so had to get going iyswim.
But I agree with others that the trick is to get yourself dressed and ready for the day before 9am or you feel rubbish all day.
Can you not have a nice relaxing bath the night before, and put clothes out etc so then you just have to brush yr teeth and get dressed in the am?
Then how about having some kind of specific activity ready before toddler group eg some colouring, simple craft, let?s play shops or whatever.
Or how about having a routine of getting a couple of houseworky jobs done before you go out? I always found that made me feel I had achieved somethign.
A 2yo can help you: make dinner (find the veg for the casserole, get spoons out, stand on a chair and watch); hang out the washing (pick out pegs, shake out your socks, run around the garden); dust and hoover (play with hoover attachments, pretend to dust etc).