Please advise me on how to make some friends for my little boy.

[makingfriends]

I do need to sort this out and would welcome any advice. I'm horribly shy and anxious and have been blessed with an incredibly outgoing and sociable child.

He's only just three, but is desperate for friends and due to my rubbish personality, I haven't made any other friends with parents who have children of the same age, and so he really hasn't got any other playmates. He does have two kids that he plays with occasionally but is that enough? What's normal?

Yesterday, in the park, it broke my heart to see him running up to other children, saying, "hello!want to play", and getting knocked back (so to speak) because they didn't know him and kids of that age can be a bit wary.

So, I need help because I am failing him. He doesn't go to nursery, because we were meant to be moving, it fell through, so he wasn't allocated a place. I work full time so can't go to playgroups with him.

He goes to lots of activities, but it doesn't seem to translate into making friends. There was a little boy that he gets on with that we see in the park and I took his mother's number about a month ago, but have been too pants to set anything up. Is it too late to call her?

What would you do? Sorry for the slightly desperate tone, but I'm feeling so horrendously guilty, I can barely breathe.

TIA.

[likessleep]

oh makingfriends, please don't feel guilty. you are looking at ways around this, so you have nothing to feel bad about.
definitely not too late to call that mum whatsoever.
are there any other activities in your local area? the library? leisure centre? baby and toddler groups? i did a search on google myself.
why not write a list and try one or two each week, see which you can tolerate and he enjoys and then keep going.
these things can also be tough initially, as other mums can appear quite cliquey, it does take time, but you'll get there.
how wonderful to have such a gregarious little boy, he'll be fine

[likessleep]

sorry, just read your thread properly . where does your ds go when you are working? who is he with? a cm?

[cornsilk]

Don't worry! They don't really 'make friends' at that age. He'll be absolutely fine and will no doubt make loads of friends when he starts school. It's not too late to call the other mum at all. Give her a call, explain that you've been busy with the move etc. If she can't meet up then never mind, keep taking him to the activities.

[makingfriends]

Thank you both - do they really not make "friends" at this age? He just so wants to play with other children and I'm convinced that I've damaged him or something by not having a huge group of NCT/playgroup mother friends that he can access.

My working mother guilt is also kicking in with a vengeance. I will phone (maybe I could text?) that other lady. I DO need to be more outgoing on his behalf, it's only fair to him. (But, crikey, it's hard for me).

(He has a nanny, but she's not English (he's bilingual) so I think that's a bit offputting for other parents, nannies TBH).

[cornsilk]

You won't have damaged him at all - lots of children don't have many friends to play with until they start school. He sounds like a really sociable little chap - he'll be fine!

[GooseyLoosey]

A month on is not too late at all. Please do ring - I am very shy too but once you have got over the horror of making the call, you'll probably enjoy meeting her.

I have 2 dcs (5 and 4) and IME they did nit "make friends" with other children until they were 4+ - up until then they just played side by side with them. You have not deprived him of anything and there is plenty of time for him to learn how to make friends.

Can whoever looks after him through the day take him to a local play group a couple of times a week?