My dd is 14 months old, would realy like another asap, dh wants to leave it a few years. Just wanted to know if is hard work having 2, dd has been hard work from day one, will having no 2 make it twice as hard?
dd is 3.3y and ds is 7.5m so a bit more age gap than you would have atm
dd was a nightmare for the first 2 years and I was dead scared about how I'd cope with 2... but ds is so easy it's hard to believe... he does everything dd never did... i.e. sleep, eat, be quiet.
It is more work having 2 as so far I've never managed them to have a nap at the same time etc. but then again it's so great seeing dd 'mothering' ds and being a big help in keeping him busy when I'm e.g. cooking dinner etc.
I'm sure you'll be fine if and when no. 2 comes along
I have a 25 month old dd and a 7 week old ds. I agree with what others have said - it is definately not double the work going from 2 to 1. I think first time round you are having to adjust to a whole change of life which takes alot out of you. Second time round you are in the swing of things and so nothing seems as big a deal. This in turn makes things more relaxed, and therefore the baby more chilled out too (that's my theory anyway!)
Watching dd with ds is so lovely already. Although hard work, it is sooo worth it.
Baby no2 is completely different to baby no1. My no1 was and is a good sleeper, days and nights. No2 wasn't (tho she is now). No1 ate like a sparrow, and still does, whereas with no2 your wrist disappeared up to the elbow when you fed her. I struggled to bf no1 at all, but managed to feed no2 for nearly two years. I had PND with no1 but not with no2.
But with both babies the first 18m was exhausting. Maybe no1 would have been an easier time had I not had PND. Dunno. With two there was a period when I couldn't get them both to eat and nap at the same time (as each other I mean), and that was very hard work. But remember, your no1 will change a lot over the next year in any case, so may not be as much hard work. I learnt a lot from having two, and as a result I tried to treat no1 differently and some of the things that were hard work became non-issues.
Go for it - ours are 2 and 4, and now seeing them together and building their own relationship makes every sleepless night and torn-out handful of hair (ours! ) worthwhile.
DS was fussy (screamed for hours), easily distracted when in public (feeding imposs), hated napping, fed every 1.5 hours for WEEKS and still isn't sleeping through the night. Every little challenge to his body (teething, colds) result in about 10 wakenings/night. March was awful.
Although, he is another 'would eat my arm is offered' type of scoffer now he's on solids
I feel sick at the thought of going through all this again. I feel quite traumatised by the whole baby thing - the lonliness, long days on my own and no intellectual stimulation. I'd love DS to have a sibling, but I just can't do this again.