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Just did an incredibly stupid thing.

(23 Posts)
Mirage Thu 14-Apr-05 17:37:20

I am sitting here feeling like the worst mother ever.I have just got back from work,got 18month old dd out of her carseat & into the house,then went back to put her wellies in the boot of the car.

My neighbour across the road shouted hello to me & asked me a question,so I crossed the road to answer him,completely forgetting about dd.Two minutes later,she trotted across the road to find me.

What on earth was I thinking to leave her alone-never mind not shutting the door properly?It was just so stupid & careless of me,she could have been killed.

I'm due to have another baby in 7 wks,but if I can't even look after 1 child properly,what will I be like with 2.I have really scared myself thinking about what could have happened

desperatehousewife Thu 14-Apr-05 17:39:00

just like kids, we have to do these things which scare us so we won't do them again. God, we've all done things like that - don't beat yourself up about it. Your'e both fine - you are not a bad mother...keep repeating!

late Thu 14-Apr-05 17:44:06

Hoping you wont feel so bad soon, we have all done something similiar at least once! So yes sorry but you will probably do something similar again before your dd is 18!

Blackduck Thu 14-Apr-05 17:47:27

All been there, all done it....we were due to go out, front door open, I thought everyone else was watching ds - I'd gone back for something - he was halfway up the road........still doesn't beat tipping him out of his pram onto stone steps at three months

saadia Thu 14-Apr-05 17:57:13

We went shopping with 3yr ds1, he was walking with us as we went through the aisles, I went to look for something, thought ds was with dh, dh though ds was with me - meanwhile ds was about to leave the store. That really scared me.

I suppose these things remind us to be more vigilant, but they are nevertheless quite terrifying.

Grommit Thu 14-Apr-05 18:42:34

I left the back door open yesterday and ds fell out and landed on his head - he now has a big bruise and a bump - feeling guilty. We all do silly things (esp when pregnant!). I once took dd out without a nappy when she was a few months old! We learn by our mistakes - don't feel too bad.

LGJ Thu 14-Apr-05 18:44:16

Blackduck at three months

Surfermum Thu 14-Apr-05 18:48:07

We lost dd on the beach last year. She was 15m. We decided to go to the shops to get her a wet suit and were so busy getting our valuables out of the bags to take with us that we didn't notice her wander off. She'd gone literally yards and was sitting in a sandcastle where we couldn't see her, but it was heart-stopping. I felt so bad as we're both volunteer lifeguards who are constantly searching for lost children when we're on duty!

I bet everyone here has had one of those moments - don't beat yourself up.

MrsMiggins Thu 14-Apr-05 19:28:29

we had some friends to stay(no kids) when DS was about 2yrs. Went to place where they sell caravans and proceeded to pop in & out looking at all the different types. Suddenly noticed DS wasnt with us. All panicked & ran round looking for him - found him looking at some ants quite happy & oblivious to the fuss. The caravan place was on a main road. Talk about heart in hand....(and yes I was pregnant but the other 3 werent!!)

Dahlia Thu 14-Apr-05 19:30:45

I drove for about an hour on the motorway with dd2 not fastened into her car seat! Nearly died when I got home, kept thinking what if what if what if......
We've all done it!

trefusis Thu 14-Apr-05 19:54:05

Message withdrawn

RTMTMML Thu 14-Apr-05 19:58:19

My sister and I drove down to the coast to stay with friends. We were taking the DTs. DT2 had his head in an awkward position and we didn't realise. I told her he was crying because he didn't like the carseat. Good job that we stopped to fill the tank just a few minutes into the journey. Spent the rest of the journey peering back into his seat making sure that he was fine.

As has already been said, happens to us all.

Thomcat Thu 14-Apr-05 20:12:37

You didn't do a stupid thing. these things do and always will happen. And your pregnant, you've got more excuse than most. Don't beat yourself up. It was scary but it was alright. it's over and I bet you'll never do it again.

Mirage Thu 14-Apr-05 21:11:26

Oh thank you all so much for sharing your experiences & reassuring me.I still feel pretty tearful & bad about it.I keep imagining what could have happened,but will try & put it down to a lesson learned & NEVER do it again.

Thanks again,you are all great!

linniewith2 Thu 14-Apr-05 21:19:24

don't feel bad ....we have all done it, last summer at a family bbq (7 adults & 2 teenagers) my dd1 age 2 managed to get out of the front door dont ask me how, I was on the loo lol and no one realised she had gone until a neighbour saw her crossing the road and brought her back.

God what a bad mummy am I

linniewith2 Thu 14-Apr-05 21:20:31

Just realised I was pg too at the time !

KBear Thu 14-Apr-05 21:23:36

When we moved into our new house my DS was 20 months. DD and I were so excited about her new bedroom we were sitting sorting out her stuff when I suddenly realised DS had left the room. A voice in my head suddenly boomed "S T A I R G A T E". I leapt, literally. I made the top of the stairs in two strides and caught him by the vest just as he was about to hurtle down the stairs. My heart stopped pounding about a week later!

These things are a wake-up call. No harm done. Forgive yourself!!

Eeek Thu 14-Apr-05 21:31:49

my mother lost me in a snow drift when I was 2. When they (finally) realised I was missing they had to come and dig me out. Things happen - and they always have done. You're fine!

Blackduck Thu 14-Apr-05 21:33:52

LGJ - its something I don't like to dwell on - but I learnt alot about the Portugese health system and the resilience of babies.....

bubbly1973 Thu 14-Apr-05 22:31:24

Mirage i was just about to log off and saw your message

i felt like absolute crap when my ds nearly went on a main road!!...kept thinking 'what if'

it was mumnset i turned to and without fail, they gave me all there experiences and i felt heaps i hope you feel heaps better

'what if' wont change anything, best thing to do is remember this incident and be more careful, its gods way of saying, 'dont leave your guard down' else can he warn you?

so now you were shook up, feel like shit, but hopefully a bit better after reading your thread and all the replys you have had...when you wake up tomorrow, start fresh, and look forward to your new arrival, and learning from your experience, and storing it at the back of your mind for future reference!

hope you feel better soon, you will as i did

starlover Fri 15-Apr-05 12:51:22

mirage please don't feel bad! I have to echo what everyone else has said... we all have done something like this!!!

I used to work for a family who had 6 children. When the youngest was about 3 she was playing in the garden. Her mum went to call her for dinner and couldn't find her.
They searched high and low and eventually called the police as she was obviously missing!
Just after the police arrived, a lady turned up at the door with their DD who had gone out of the garden and walked up to the main village street (along a busy road with only a narrow path, and no path at all at some points!!!)
She had been found outside the hairdressers trying to cross a 3 road junction and luckily someone had recognised her!!!

So trust me... you are NOT a bad mum... and like someone else has said, you learn from your mistakes, and it isn't something you will do again!

Mirage Sun 17-Apr-05 07:19:12

Thanks again-I have put it down to being a 'wake up' call.I really am going to have to be more alert & careful especially when No2 arrives.

bubbly1973 Sun 17-Apr-05 19:26:12

Mirage you feeling heaps better with yourself now? hope so, just look forward to your new arrival

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